aggghhh - feel like I'm about to lose it

ShopperKristi

So my babies still aren't taking naps and I am about to lose my mind!

I lay them down as soon as I see their sleepy cues (about 1-1.5 hours after waking up) and one or both of them just scream.  They might sleep on and off for 15 minutes but never at the same time.  So I spend a good 1.5 - 2ish hours going back and forth trying to get them to sleep.  They wake up 45 minutes before it is time to eat again and are crying.  I know they aren't hungry because one of them spit up a decent amount right when he woke up (and they are eating 5oz).  I don't want to let them cry in their beds but I'm at the end of my rope here.  What am I doing wrong?Shouldn't they be taking 3 - 1-1.5 hr naps each day?   

I seriously had a meltdown yesterday, like, crying on the floor of my closet because I just feel like I'm messing something up and nothing I do makes them happy.  The only time they aren't crying is when they are eating or sleeping at night  I'm just lost and don't know where to turn to for help. 

laureneliza13

I don't have my own kids yet, but I have worked with infants before and I can tell you that some of them sleep for 3 hours and only wake up when they are hungry and others take 30 minute naps at most. It's all about the baby. A couple suggestions (although keep in mind I'm not a mom YET) are keep the room nice and dark, use a white noise machine or a soothing cd (nature sounds, white noise, rain), try and swaddle them nice and tight (not sure how old they are or if you are using blankets in the cribs at this point). Hope some of this helps and you can get some peace and quiet.

brookith

Hi- my babies are a little older than yours, but we are having the same problems. I feel like all I do is try to make them nap all day, only to have them wake up within 30 min. So frustrating! It is hard when you have no break all day because they will not nap. 

Mine liked to be swaddled at that age, but I just discovered they like to be in their sleep sacks with their arms out and holding a toy.  I don't have a lot of suggestions because I am right there with you....but I have tried: musical crib toy with lights and nature sounds, dark room, holding them for a few minutes before I lay them down until I can feel them relax, halo sleep sack with arms out and a soft toy to hold. 

I am so sorry you are going through this, it is about the age mine realized that naps were no fun anymore!

hope it gets better for you soon.  

 

icedcoffeeluv

I feel like I could have written this post. I don't know what to do anymore. I had a few weeks where they were starting to sleep longer stretches at night but barely napping during the day but now we are back to up every 2-3 hours each and at different times and still not napping during the day. It is so frustrating because I feel like I never sleep for more than an hour. 

 So I have no advice but you are not alone. Please let me know if you figure it out.  

projectbaby2012

I'm so sorry, I too could have written this post.  My babies just don't want to sleep at the same time anymore and I'm exhausted.  Evenings are hard and nights are only ok because DH and I take shifts.

Some things that do help:  Swaddle!!!  The more bundled my babies, the longer they stay down.  Also, one of my babies really likes the swing.  He'll take hour to 1.5 hour naps in it - but only if he's swaddled first.  

My biggest issue is that one of my boys loves to nap in the morning and the other in the afternoon, giving me no break at all during the day.  I rarely eat a meal in the day and never get to shower unless DH happens to be home during the day.

I'm really hoping that what everyone says is true - that after you make it past the first 3 months it gets easier.  I love my boys and am grateful to have them both, but it's really hard work.  REALLY HARD some days.

Hang in there, you aren't doing anything wrong, babies are a lot of work. Especially when you have 2 at the same time. 

ShopperKristi

Thanks you guys - in a way it is just nice to know I'm not alone. I just feel like such a failure sometimes  By about 3:00 in the afternoon I'm in tears because I've tried everything and I'm emotionally and physically exhausted.  I tried the baby whisperer thing (no rocking, shhh pat, etc.) for three days and it didn't help AT ALL!  I even had my husband here doing it with me over the weekend and it was just the most unproductive weekend ever. I do still try to keep them on the 3-hour EASY schedule which worked great right away but now the naps just went out the window and I have two crying babies for the two hours it takes until they can eat again.

I just gave my notice at work last week and now I am totally second guessing my decision.  I feel so terrible admitting it but I'd honestly rather be at work!  I really do hope it gets easier for all of us soon!

Any veteran MoM's feel like weighing in here? 

erinruns

Here's a great article about awake times - https://www.babywisemom.com/2008/07/optimal-waketime-lengths.html

My guess is that they are overtired and even though you think you're seeing their sleepy cues, they are too far gone.  Try laying them down even earlier and see how they do.  

Have you tried swings?  White noise?  Lullabies?  Dark room?  Swaddles?  Sometimes it's a matter of ruling things in or out one by one to see what makes a difference. 

ShopperKristi

Swaddled, swings, white noise, dark room - yes!  Haven't tried a lullaby or certain sleepy time song yet, should give that a go.  You might be right about too much awake time although it feels like hardly any right now.   I'll try putting them down earlier tomorrow and see what happens!  What I am doing now isn't working anyway so it can't hurt!  Thank you!

HisBelovedPrincess

*BIG BIG BIG HUGS* 

The season you are in now is the hardest one yet! But, if you can take it ONE minute at a time and remind yourself "this moment will pass. they will eventually both calm/rest at the same/close to the same time"  

I had a good sleeper and a power napper, and it was NOT fun. BUT we figured out what worked for us....I had to let go of the house...like REALLY let it go....it felt like i was living in a tornado at times, but I was wearing myself out trying to put them into a schedule they were clearly not going into   So, I made myself rest when they did.no.butts.about.it. Even if it was 20 minutes of overlapping sleep, I peed, snacked and then layed down to close my eyes before 'awake' time came around again.  MANY days the only way to get my power napper to sleep the same time as his brother was to nurse him to sleep and sleep with him or to put him in the swing right after a little snack (he ate less at each feeding, but more often..power napper, power snacker..still the same way today at 2 years old!).

Truth be told, I did a lot of praying! A.LOT.  I'm sorry there isn't a magic solution, only time and patience can get you through this season  

*BIG HUGS* I hope you and your littles figure a system that works for you, soooon and in teh meantime, see if you can have two people over once or twice a week to tend to the house while you nap (try to anyways) )

xoexpat

I'm with you...my babies are getting fussier and fussier and I feel like I'm constantly juggling them...holding one till they stop crying, putting then down and picking the other one up, repeat ad nauseum in 15 minute increments...one likes to nap in the morning and the other in the afternoon so I never get a break...hang in there! A man I passed on the street when I took them on a walk the other day said he had some twins in his family. Shaking his head he said, "mothers of twins are something special". Amen!

DelaBella

I know what you are feeling. My girls are about the same age as your babies and I talked to my pediatrician about getting them on the same schedule. She advised that they were way too young before three months to really be put on a schedule, but that after 6 weeks, they would start to put themselves on their own kind of schedule. So it may just be a matter of hanging in there a few more weeks!!

mirnb

Big hugs to all you ladies in the trenches of babyhood right now....Both my guys had colic and cried most of the time but especially at night and I wondered if I would ever survive it...did a lot of crying and praying too! My mom was great and would always tell me "they are just babies...all babies have fussiness but it seems like more because there are 2 (not regarding the colic situtation just in general)"

When you have 2 you really do just spend your time trying to get them to sleep but if you stick with that when it is time to really get them on a nap schedule it will be a lot easier! I went from basically no schedule and tons of crying all the time to 3 naps a day and STTN at 4 months.....things will get easier ladies...hang in there!!!

ps I second the suggestion about being overtired! Try putting them down earlier!! 

ShopperKristi

Thank you so much for all of your input.  I cried reading these responses today because it gave me hope things will get better and reassured me that it isn't something I have done wrong since y'all have been there too.  I raced against the clock to get them down for their nap earlier this morning (pretty much right after feeding) and they both actually went to sleep!  Yay!  But they both woke up after about 30-45 minutes which still seems short to me.  The only difference (and this is huge) is that they seem to be more content instead of up and crying.  I am going to stick with it,  will let you all know how it goes!

macschic

I could have written this post. The only time I can get them to nap is when they are being held. As soon as I put them down they are up! Sorry I don't have any advice, but I can appreciate what you are going through....it is tough!