Hold me but don't Hold me

Mar5195

I was wondering if anyone is going through this.  We never experienced true separation anxiety.  But I'm wondering if this it.  Right before bedtime when he's starting to get real whiney from being tired, he wants to be held but he doesn't want to be held.

Ex.  He will be playing and then he looks for me and I'm usually right there next to him.  But he'll reach out and whine so I'll hold him.  And sometime he'll let me hold him for a max of 5 minutes and then he'll push me away.  Then rinse and repeat. 

Bedtime has been terrible because the second I lay him down in his crib he starts screaming.   And it's bloodymurderimdying scream crying.  He only does it at bedtime.  I've CIO for up to 30 minutes and he's a damm mess.   Sweaty, face is soaking wet from tears.   I don't know what his deal is.   But I pray it's just a phase.  Started right around when he turned 8 months.  

I've been putting him in his swing and he'll just pass out then I transfer to the crib.  But I know I can't keep doing that because he's already 20lbs and the swing will only take 25lbs. 

HELP ME!!!  It's a phase right?  Please Lawd Hayzeus let this be a phase!!

Shawnee11507

DS is doing this to me all day now. He will turn to me and start pulling at my shirt to pick him up or reach his arms out to me. 5 seconds later he is either twisting around in my arms or pushing himself off my chest with both hands.

I am a little sad he does this at bed-time too now. I used to take him into the dark bedroom and sit down a minute and he would put his little head down on my shoulder. Now he does the push away, so I just put him down.

suitern

I don't have much advice-however I can relate! We don't have the same bed time screaming issue, but DS is what I call a stage 5 clinger at this age.  We have some SEVERE separation anxiety going on.  I can't leave the room without a total melt down from him.  It has gotten so bad that he won't even stay with DH if I am not in the room and am somewhere else in the house doing something.  He plays the I want to be held routine, but then wants to be put down after 2 minutes. Or he wants to be picked up but use me as a jungle gym which I don't care for.  However, if I don't pick him up melt down.  I am also hoping it is a phase.  I have heard they out grow it closer to a year!! Sorry I can't be of more help, but I can at least sympathize!

Mar5195

Shawnee11507:

I am a little sad he does this at bed-time too now. I used to take him into the dark bedroom and sit down a minute and he would put his little head down on my shoulder. Now he does the push away, so I just put him down.

This is us.  I would take him in his nursery and turn off all the lights.  I would sing to him and he'd chill out but now he screams & fusses to get out of my arms, and if I put him down all hell breaks loose. 

HawkeyeJulz

We are going through something similar. He wants me to hold him, I pick him up and then he wants to get down (or he twists and turns and pushes). I said this to DH last night and I had to walk away because it was driving me crazy. It's got to be a phase

aglenn

Yep, us, too.  DS will whine to be put down and practically jump out of my arms at a toy, but then when I put him down he will immediately start to whine and hold his arms up and ask me to pick him up.  So frustrating!  He has also started to take a really long time at bedtime, which used to be a painless process, and will be 95% asleep and then suddenly sit straight up and try to wake himself up until he finally can't do it any more.  This is not fun.

boilerup227

Yes.  And I am exhausted.  He is also whining about everything now.  EVERY.THING.  He is only happy if he is standing up... well, he can't stand on his own and I can't hold him up all day long SO there is a lot of whining at our house now!  He has some severe separation anxiety too.  So bad that I had to leave a MOPS meeting today because he screamed in the nursery for 45 minutes and then when I tried to hold him during the meeting he did the "hold me but don't hold me."

ETA: Oh, and yes, he won't even go to DS.  ONLY mommy.  ALL.the.time..... 

sparks2987

Us too! She pushes me away when she is tired. My theory...she is tired so she WANTS to be held, then she realizes me holding her is putting her asleep so she fights it and wants down....rinse and repeat.

She is quite the turd these days. NTM she has started waking up more at night with a SCREAM that could break glass, wanting to be held until she falls back asleep.

msumjll

Yep!!! Us too! I come from from work and have 30 minutes of complete crabby time because he wants up, then down. Again.  And Again.  And Again. 

Can't relate on the sleeping thing either --- It has a be a phase! 

NatesLady1309

We are going through this but it has been different than her major separation anx. phase. Now she will want to cuddle with me about every 30 seconds and then go back to playing on the floor, repeat about a million times. I love the cuddles but sometimes I want to do something other than be on the floor with her while she's playing.