Late night homecoming and babies? — The Bump
Military Families

Late night homecoming and babies?

DH will be home soonish and I'm trying to plan for the homecoming. If you've picked up your SO late at night/early in the morning when your kids are asleep, do you wake them up and bring them to greet daddy? Or let them sleep (with a sitter, or someone) and let daddy see them in the morning? I have the option of my mom staying with us, so I can go pick up DH by myself or she can help with DS if we all go to get him. Let DS be rested and greet daddy happy? Or let daddy see DS and risk a total meltdown and angry child?
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Re: Late night homecoming and babies?

  • Leave the baby home. 

    The mod on MN has said many times that she always goes to meet her H alone. She leaves the kids home and they use the time to reconnect as a couple. Sounds like a great plan to me. 

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  • DH requested that I leave DS at home so we'd have some time together. I was staying with my family at the time, so it wasn't a big deal to leave him with my mom.

    We actually had a few days together before going back home, and it was great. He was exhausted and needed some transition time.

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  • I took our DD. she was 21m when he came home. I wasn't sure how she would act but she was so excited to see him. I have a video of her hugging him with a giant smile. It was so sweet and so worth losing a little sleep.
  • Personally, I would not wake my child up for homecoming (and I did not drag him out when DH deployed, either since he had to be there an insane time).  Your LO is so young that the joy of homecoming could turn on a dime.  IMO, better to have LO see daddy at home, without an audience/crowd.

    When my DH redeployed last time, LO was nine months old.  We lived in TN and DH returned to a post in KS.  Thankfully, they arrived during the day, so we met the bus (we were the only two people there to welcome the soldiers home).  LO did great with DH, but I think that was equal parts his age/development level, my excitement and pure luck!

    Do what feels right for your family, but if your mom can come help, leave your LO at home.  Take a little bit of time with your DH.  You deserve it!! 

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  • If I had had the option to leave DS at home for our late night homecoming, I would have. The first reason being is that they are never on time. If you have the option to leave your LO home, do it. Your DS can see daddy the next morning.
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  • My husband nearly always returns late at night.  We are usually there for several hours.  Like Mel said early, out of 8 deployments and homecomings, my kids have never come with me.  We use that as our time to reconnect.  They usually stay with a family member and we pick them up together the next morning.  
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  • I brought DD to homecoming even thought it was at Midnight.... however it was the first time that my DH met her. 

    I think that for future homecomings I will still bring the kids.  I can't imagine DH not wanting to have his whole family waiting for him when he steps off the bus.

    Ask your DH what he thinks, if he doesn't care then I would just go with your gut... you know your kiddos best. 

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  • I would most definitely wake the child and bring them with me.  I know that MH would be disappointed if I chose to leave our son at home.  DS would probably be cranky, but eh, he can go to bed early the next night.  
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