capture your grief project and thoughts on the grieving process...

lrichmond86

I can't believe that this project is coming to an end!  It's been so great to have another place to talk about the grieving process that I've gone through and to connect with other angel mommies.  It was even nice to recognize some familiar faces from this board. 

Thanks to hurricane Sandy, I was without power for the last two days and unable to post yesterday's topic, "Tell the world".  So I posted today.  I thought that it might be something others still not far out from their loss might want to read, so I'm going to post it here as well.  As I wrote it I found that as time passes I think of my son with happy thoughts more than I think of him with sad ones.  Others on this board told me that this would happen right after our loss, but it's so hard to believe when you are so consumed by the loss of your child.  Anyway, here it is.  Just my thoughts... condensed to about a hundreth of what I could say about this!

 

 

 

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Day 30: Tell the world.  It is almost impossible to talk accurately about the grief of losing your child.  There are no words that express what it feels like to lose a piece of yourself.  I sometimes describe it in comparison to someone who has lost a limb.  There are times when you still feel it, even though you know it?s not there.  There are times when you wake up in the morning and forget that it?s gone and have to come to that cruel realization all over again.  And every second of every day you go on, knowing that there is NOTHING that will ever replace what has been taken from you.  I think of my son with love every day, and will for the rest of my life.  There are days that he makes me smile and days that he makes me cry.  I desperately want to talk about him, to say his name, to make others acknowledge his presence.  Tell me you think of him.  Tell me that he still matters.  While I wish that our story had turned out differently?that our son had come home with us, that we didn?t have an empty nursery and boxes full of clothes that we can?t bear to part with, that I were planning his first birthday and not his first memorial?there isn?t a second of this journey that I regret.  I am thankful for the time that I had with my son as he grew inside of me.  I am amazed that it is possible to love the father of your child more than you thought you ever could, just because you can see how much he loves your son.  I am proud of the person that I have become through this journey and of the way that I have conducted myself in circumstances that I had once thought unimaginable.  In eight short months of life, my son did more to make me a better person? wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, friend, teacher? than anyone ever has.  What a beautiful gift I was given!  I don?t want pity or to be told how strong I am.  I want my son to be remembered with as much love as he deserves.  Thinking of you always, little man!  Mommy and Daddy love you and miss you EVERY DAY! xoxo

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butterfly2119

lol I read your post on Carlys page I'm sad to that it's coming to a close. I'm thinking about scrap booking all the picture posts that I've made and copying all the wonderful comments from everyone and incorporate them on the pages. Something fun to do.

lrichmond86

I thought of doing the same thing.  It was such a great project, I kind of don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow when there's nothing to post lol 

pottermommy

I am so incredibly proud of myself for finishing!!!  I did mine on Facebook because I wanted it to be visible to everyone who knows me, I wanted them to really see that even though their lives have moved on mine hasn't.

There were days that I didn't think I could finish, the subject was so so hard.  I also found that this has made me more emotional than I would have been had I not done it.  But I am so proud that I did.  Here is my post from yesterday: Tell the world.

 

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