They are not attacking you for your beliefs, they are defending theirs. I'm pregnant with my first, and I'm going to be a SAHM, BF, and I thought about cloth diapering. But in no way would I ever judge someone who doesn't do the same. It doesn't make them any less of a mother. Some people don't have the option to SAH, and who works to work separate shifts from their SO? That leaves no time to bond, sleep, or anything. Plus, what job has that option really?
Don't be so quick to judge. Once the baby gets here, you will be surprised how many opinions you have will change. You will see that it's not as easy as you assume.
They are not attacking you for your beliefs, they are defending theirs. I'm pregnant with my first, and I'm going to be a SAHM, BF, and I thought about cloth diapering. But in no way would I ever judge someone who doesn't do the same. It doesn't make them any less of a mother. Some people don't have the option to SAH, and who works to work separate shifts from their SO? That leaves no time to bond, sleep, or anything. Plus, what job has that option really?
Don't be so quick to judge. Once the baby gets here, you will be surprised how many opinions you have will change. You will see that it's not as easy as you assume.
You might not be able to BF. I hope you are able to. You have no idea how your infant will react to anything. You have no idea if you will enjoy being a SAHM, many people do not. This all has nothing to do with your "values".
This is the point we're trying to make to FTM's. You have no idea how things will work out with your baby. You may have this grand plan before having a child, but didn't we all?!!!
No one attacked your stances. We attacked your judgementalbitchass for being a judgementalbitchass. Get it right.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
WTF does being a feminist have to do with cloth diapering? Hahaha! OP, you have truly outdone yourself.
Being a "feminist" means being equal with men, but most importantly, it means believing that women have CHOICES with their lives. These choices can be working, staying home, whatever the woman chooses for her family and life. You're right, though. You are completely NOT a feminist because you are trying to force women to believe your views that "one size fits all." How completely ignorant of you. I never say this, but I actually feel sorry for your kid. How horrible to grow up with such a judgmental mother!
Signed, A feminist who also chooses to stay home (gasp!)
No kidding. I doubt you're reading, OP, but if you think anything that's been said to you here or on 2nd Tri is "mean" then this must be your first foray onto the internet. The Bump is so docile and nice compared to just about anywhere else.
You might not be able to BF. I hope you are able to. You have no idea how your infant will react to anything. You have no idea if you will enjoy being a SAHM, many people do not. This all has nothing to do with your "values".
This is the point we're trying to make to FTM's. You have no idea how things will work out with your baby. You may have this grand plan before having a child, but didn't we all?!!!
... Or even if you are able to BF, your baby might have issues with it! DS has lactose intolerance, while I was EP for him he was the fussiest baby on the block even with gas drops at each and every feeding no matter how small, when I dried up (unplanned), and he went full sensitive formula, after a week he became a new baby. Not to mention a BF Mom's worst nightmare next to cracked nipples, lazy suck, inverted nipples, tongue tied, etc. MASTITIS! Three cases of that and you'll never complain about the flu or even slow down for it because it feels so much better.
OP, you know what's the most annoying thing ever? A pregnant woman who knows everything about parenting. Get off your sanctimonious high horse and come back after you've had your kid and have been parenting a while. I say "a while" because the second most annoying thing ever is a mom of a two week old who suddenly knows everything about parenting.
Also, maybe you should step back and consider something. When all of your posts are getting snarky comments, is it everyone on TB who has a problem, or you?
People on the bump can be VERY sensitive and are easily offended when they feel like someone is judging something that they are doing. To be honest I think people on here are easily offended at things that they wouldn't think twice about IRL. You'll get along much better if you keep your opinions neutral and be very careful how you word things.
Couldn't have said it better. It's fine to have your own beliefs - that's what makes us all different. But maybe just tone it down a bit when it comes to the boards because it can come across as being a little judgy.
We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And HOPE does not dissappoint. Romans 5:3-5
~Matt and Jen~
Married August 26, 2006
TTC since June 2008
Severe MFI
IVF #1 Feb. 2011 = BFN
IVF #2 (Long Lupron) May 2011 = BFP!!!
Our sweet little girl, born January 26, 2012
I don't know...I guess I give up! I wasn't trying to offend anyone just putting some of my thoughts out there and I did say I know this is all just my opinion so it's not like I was trying to state fact, just thoughts that go through my head, I'm not saying that I'm RIGHT and everyone is WRONG, it's just my thoughts on BF vs. FF etc. I do think most of it, MOST of it, is for convenience on our part. But whatever I give up, I'm not getting anything but drama from this forum and it's not that nice.
I don't know...I guess I give up! I wasn't trying to offend anyone just putting some of my thoughts out there and I did say I know this is all just my opinion so it's not like I was trying to state fact, just thoughts that go through my head, I'm not saying that I'm RIGHT and everyone is WRONG, it's just my thoughts on BF vs. FF etc. I do think most of it, MOST of it, is for convenience on our part. But whatever I give up, I'm not getting anything but drama from this forum and it's not that nice.
This is the internet, there's no requirement to be nice. If you are going to post such judgments about so many different groups of parents, be prepared for the backlash. Whining about how mean everyone is is childish.
I think it's sad that you don't have a little humility to admit that maybe all these ladies, who HAVE children, might be right or know a little more than you.
Unfortunately, I don't think you actually read through many of the responses, some of them are very insightful and tried to give you good advice in this thread.
Re: Feeling so attacked and alone..
I did bump the post. If you set the order to 'last posted' (I think) you will see it back on the first page. You were right.
ETA: 'last post date'
They are not attacking you for your beliefs, they are defending theirs. I'm pregnant with my first, and I'm going to be a SAHM, BF, and I thought about cloth diapering. But in no way would I ever judge someone who doesn't do the same. It doesn't make them any less of a mother. Some people don't have the option to SAH, and who works to work separate shifts from their SO? That leaves no time to bond, sleep, or anything. Plus, what job has that option really?
Don't be so quick to judge. Once the baby gets here, you will be surprised how many opinions you have will change. You will see that it's not as easy as you assume.
You might not be able to BF. I hope you are able to. You have no idea how your infant will react to anything. You have no idea if you will enjoy being a SAHM, many people do not. This all has nothing to do with your "values".
This is the point we're trying to make to FTM's. You have no idea how things will work out with your baby. You may have this grand plan before having a child, but didn't we all?!!!
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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WTF does being a feminist have to do with cloth diapering? Hahaha! OP, you have truly outdone yourself.
Being a "feminist" means being equal with men, but most importantly, it means believing that women have CHOICES with their lives. These choices can be working, staying home, whatever the woman chooses for her family and life. You're right, though. You are completely NOT a feminist because you are trying to force women to believe your views that "one size fits all." How completely ignorant of you. I never say this, but I actually feel sorry for your kid. How horrible to grow up with such a judgmental mother!
Signed,
A feminist who also chooses to stay home (gasp!)
No kidding. I doubt you're reading, OP, but if you think anything that's been said to you here or on 2nd Tri is "mean" then this must be your first foray onto the internet. The Bump is so docile and nice compared to just about anywhere else.
My Goodreads shelf
... Or even if you are able to BF, your baby might have issues with it! DS has lactose intolerance, while I was EP for him he was the fussiest baby on the block even with gas drops at each and every feeding no matter how small, when I dried up (unplanned), and he went full sensitive formula, after a week he became a new baby. Not to mention a BF Mom's worst nightmare next to cracked nipples, lazy suck, inverted nipples, tongue tied, etc. MASTITIS! Three cases of that and you'll never complain about the flu or even slow down for it because it feels so much better.
OP, you know what's the most annoying thing ever? A pregnant woman who knows everything about parenting. Get off your sanctimonious high horse and come back after you've had your kid and have been parenting a while. I say "a while" because the second most annoying thing ever is a mom of a two week old who suddenly knows everything about parenting.
Also, maybe you should step back and consider something. When all of your posts are getting snarky comments, is it everyone on TB who has a problem, or you?
Couldn't have said it better. It's fine to have your own beliefs - that's what makes us all different. But maybe just tone it down a bit when it comes to the boards because it can come across as being a little judgy.
We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And HOPE does not dissappoint.
Romans 5:3-5
~Matt and Jen~
Married August 26, 2006
TTC since June 2008
Severe MFI
IVF #1 Feb. 2011 = BFN
IVF #2 (Long Lupron) May 2011 = BFP!!!
Our sweet little girl, born January 26, 2012
Time for #2!
IVF #1 (Long Lupron) July 2013 = BFP!!!
Beta #1 (8/1) 203! Beta #2 (8/8) 3,677! 1st u/s scheduled for 8/15!
This is the internet, there's no requirement to be nice. If you are going to post such judgments about so many different groups of parents, be prepared for the backlash. Whining about how mean everyone is is childish.
I think it's sad that you don't have a little humility to admit that maybe all these ladies, who HAVE children, might be right or know a little more than you.
Unfortunately, I don't think you actually read through many of the responses, some of them are very insightful and tried to give you good advice in this thread.
C 7.16.2008 | L 11.12.2010 | A 3.18.2013