NBR - FIL issue, not sure how to go about it.

bigbear

My FIL has guns. And when I was pregnant he just brought over some hand and shot guns without even asking if I was ok with it. I wasn't by the way! When I complained to DH and he told his dad about it, he apologized and then went and bought us a gun safe instead of taking the guns back! WTF

DH was satisfied with the fact that the guns were now locked away safely and even though he knew I was still not OK with it, he didn't want to talk to FIL about it anymore, especially because he gave him his great-grandpas old shotgun. DH was very surprised by it so he just didn't want to come of as ungrateful.

Saturday FIL came over and while DH was running errands, he told me how he bought DH a new shot gun for Xmas! OMG are you serious?!?!? MORE GUNS?!

Technically it's not his fault as he probably thinks it's all good now with the safe but I'm really bothered by it, becaus I DID say that I didn't want ANY guns in my house. So now what do I do? I feel like I need to just let it go b/c it would create so much drama. But I feel offended that everybody is completely disregarding my wishes. I just don't feel comfortable having guns in my house, why is that so difficult to understand?

So wwyd in this situation?  

 

BritanyV

Honestly, probably not much you can do about it.   Whether your dh will fess up to it or not, he is ok with guns in your house and that is why your FIL thinks it is ok to purchase a gun for him and for him to bring guns over.   This fight is actually between you and your dh, not you and your FIL.

This is a long standing fight between my dh and I.  I hate guns, don't want them around the house at all.   After 10 years, I finally say ok to dh getting a hand gun for protection (he travels a lot by himself at night).  Now that he has one, he wants MORE! 

It is very frustrating and I think some men just don't understand why some women don't want them around the house at all, regardless if they are in a safe or not.  

 

jnickers98

I agree with Britany.  You and your DH need to come to an understanding.  Then, if you both agree to no guns in the house, your DH should discuss that with your FIL.

bigbear

Yeah, I know it's not really FIL who is the problem. Although I do blame him a little bit because I told him and DH that I was not comfortable with guns in the house, even with the safe!

But it is somethig DH has to figure out with me. The thing is, he'll never say anything to his father. He'd rather be in disagreement with me than go "against" his dad. It's so annoying!  I don't know why he's so darn afraid to tell his parents anything! UGH.

thanks ladies!

js13524

H has been talking about getting a hand gun, too. I'm completely agianst it. He says he'll get a lock box for it and keep up in the closet. But if he wants to get it for protection, what's he going to do if someone breaks in. Get out of bed, go get the key, go to the closet, unlock the box, grab the gun, then load it. And while all this is going on the bad guy will probably already have taken what he wants and left! I'm not saying I'm anti-gun, but this just sounds silly to me.

Do you or anyone in your family have a seperate storage unit or storage shed you can put them in? If they only get out for hunting (or not at all), I don't see why they would need to be stored in the house.

bigbear

LibraryChica:

You might also consider asking him to rent a locker at a gun range. DH kept the guns his father gave him there for years -- they had sentimental value to him but he respected my stance on not having them in the house. Recently, I took the leap and learned to shoot them. I was terrified because my mother is afraid of guns for personal reasons and she passed that fear to my brother and I, but now that I've been through a safety course and I can safely handle and shoot a gun I am more comfortable. DH and I went shopping for a safe together and they are now in a safe in our closet.

My point, though, is that it took several years for us to get to this point. But DH always respected my fear. Your DH needs to respect that you are not comfortable with these guns there and no one should ever be uncomfortable in their own home. You need to work together to come up with a solution and if that means the guns go elsewhere then he needs to respect that.

Yeah we definitely have some talking to do. I actually enjoy and have gone to a shooting range. But I just don't think a gun belongs in the house especially now with a baby. I suggested already that we take them to a locker or something. DH is using them for hunting only. And here's the deal. He went hunting maybe 5 times since I've known him. He takes the dog and the gun out for a walk but never really shoots anything. LOL So what is the f'n point of the gun I wonder LOL

But yes, you are right. Maybe I wasn't clear enough and will have to revisit the issue. I just don't want to say anything right now b/c the new gun is a surprise for Xmas and I don't want to ruin it....

Mrs.Frazier

If they are safe and you don't have to see them or mess with them why does it bother you? (Not meant to sound rude) 

 I am on the other side of the spectrum. My husband and I own many guns and I personally always have a weapon either on me or in my car in a locked box. I enjoy shooting and guns themselves fascinate me.

My daughter has a healthy fear of guns and we educate her on safety and if she ever does come in contact with one (at a friends or anywhere) how to handle it etc.

shamilton223

Like the previous poster, I don't wish to be disrespectful but I am curious to know the reason why so many of you seem to be so afraid of guns.  My DH and I have many guns in the house and they are all kept under lock and key.  DH enjoys hunting and shooting.  I could care less about hunting (only because I don't want to wake up that early on my day off) but I do enjoy target shooting from time to time.  Our children will be taught a healthy respect for firearms as well as proper handling and safety techniques. 

 So my question, ladies, is this... "What specifically bothers you about having firearms in the house?"