Secondary IF

Can I join you ladies?

I've been lurking for a few weeks mustering up the strength to admit that I belong over here.  DH had multiple surgeries following metastasized testicular cancer, but we were so lucky to get pregnant with DS on our first cycle trying.  DS just turned 2 and we have been trying for #2 for a year this month.  After bloodwork, multiple ultrasounds, HSG (which confirmed a prior diagnosis of bicorniate uterus and semi attached right tube), and an SA for DH, we found out he has >1% sperm count with 0% motility.  He is finalizing his second SA this week and additional blood tests, but the outlook is bleak.  I had to stop charting/temping this past month to keep my sanity.  Looking at dropping temps and BFN's every month was just too much to take.

Our only hope for a biological child would be IVF with ICSI and possible TESA.  It's not only an overwhelming amount of information to consider, but the cost could spiral.  With minimal IF coverage, we find ourselves wondering if this is the best use of $20K+...  Rationally, no.  But I know our family is not complete and emotionally, I'd give every cent to make it happen.

Family and friends have started the barrage of "So, when are you going to start working on #2?  It's about time for another!"  Yes, we know all too well.  We're devistated.  It takes everything I have not to scream at someone "We're barren and can't have another one!!!"  Because, really, no one wants to hear that.  The distant smile, dismissive nod and "we'll see" are constant in every conversation I have lately.  I'm so in love with DS and so grateful to have him.  But, if DH says one more time "We should be happy with what we have.  Why temp fate?"...I just might punch him.  :) 

Thanks for letting me dump.  I know this is the place for me.  To know that there are others that understand that it's not about being ungrateful for what you do have, but rather mourning what you might not, is so helpful.

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Re: Can I join you ladies?

  • Welcome. I'm sorry you have to be here but glad you posted. I am sorry for your DX. We have been trying for 2 since Jan 2011. I understand dealing with the questions. Someone wise once posted here that we are entitled to want whatever size family we want. Many ladies here are doing IVF. I wish you well while you decide what is best for your family. For me it plan to spend the money and try IVF once. If it fails at least I'll know I tried.

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  • Welcome, and i think all of us here have had your feeling at one point or another!  IF sucks, but I hope you can decide on a plan of action and one day complete you family. This board is a great place to be! 
    TTC baby #2 since July 2011, DX: low AMH
    BFP 1/21/13, blighted ovum m/c 2/12/13
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  • Big hugs, hon!  Welcome!  You know I love ya!

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    Love, luck, and prayers to my BFPB Dr. SnowflakeBride

  • I'm so in love with DS and so grateful to have him.  But, if DH says one more time "We should be happy with what we have.  Why temp fate?"...I just might punch him.  :) 

    My DH says much the same and it drives me nuts!


    Also I wanted to say, when others ask us about having another I usually say "When God blesses us again."  I think it nicely says it all.  My family and close friends all know what we are going through, so they are usually polite with their questions, or just don't ask.

     Welcome to the board, sorry you have to be here, but you will find many wonderful and supportive women here.

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    DD conceived after 3 years of ttc.
    MFI - DH had varicocele repair and took Clomid to get DD b. 02/2010

    TTC #2 since 6/2010
    10/2012 DH diagnosed with Epilepsy
    A few failed IUIs summer 2012 and 2013. 
    DH taking clomid and waiting to see if he needs another vericocele repair. 
    Hoping for a 2015 baby or babies. 
    Wishing, hoping, waiting.

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