Update to how would you respond to this

Buckeyegirlangie

As a Christian working woman, this situation is so insulting.  I am so sorry that you went through this.  Please give some serious thought to leaving the group, or at the very least, talking to the leader. 

laurakaz13

JennJenn613:

jnealet:

So...are you 100% sure that you were the one that the pastor was referring to?  Could the lecture been pointed at the woman who made the statement in the first place? 

 

That's what I'm wondering, she's the one who acted like a two-year-old by tattling and she's the one who was offended and needs to forgive.

Good points!  What say you, OP? 

lovebug33

laurakaz13:

JennJenn613:

jnealet:

So...are you 100% sure that you were the one that the pastor was referring to?  Could the lecture been pointed at the woman who made the statement in the first place? 

 

That's what I'm wondering, she's the one who acted like a two-year-old by tattling and she's the one who was offended and needs to forgive.

Good points!  What say you, OP? 

Sorry, had to actually do work, so I was off. She wasn't at the meeting and the leader and her are bestest friends, so I'm sure the lecture was pointed at me!

kacelle

JNL$LSM:

Stuff like that really pisses me off, makes me think of Gandhi, ?I like your Christ, but I do not  like your Christians, they are nothing like your Christ.? 

I both love and hate that quote from Gandhi.  I love it because it's true and hate it because its true!  

OP, I'm a Christian and work (full-time, imagine that!) for a Christian ministry, and I'd be high-tailing it out of there.  I do not handle childish call-outs well at all.  I've been the subject of quite a few (during a major theological shift in thinking) and have not sustained friendships with any of those who did the "anonymous" finger-pointing. 

Iblamethebeer

lovebug33:

laurakaz13:

JennJenn613:

jnealet:

So...are you 100% sure that you were the one that the pastor was referring to?  Could the lecture been pointed at the woman who made the statement in the first place? 

 

That's what I'm wondering, she's the one who acted like a two-year-old by tattling and she's the one who was offended and needs to forgive.

Good points!  What say you, OP? 

Sorry, had to actually do work, so I was off. She wasn't at the meeting and the leader and her are bestest friends, so I'm sure the lecture was pointed at me!

 

There are 30 women in this group.  Only 3 of them know about your recent "drama."  That means you probably don't know everyone else's drama.  Is it possible the leader was talking about something else entirely, that doesn't involve you?

If you want to stay in the group, I would sit down with the leader and level with her.  Say it seemed like she was calling you out, ask if she was.  If she was, ask what you did (or what she's heard that you did) that made her think you were acting like a two-year old.

And only (only only only) if you reach a resolution that makes you feel fully welcome should you stay in the group.

Meery82

lovebug33:

This group has 30 women in it and from what I ascertained, only 3 know the situation and they are the ones being jerks. The public shaming was totally anonymous (they were talking about how you can't act like a two year old when somebody hurts you and if you won't forgive someone who hurt you, you will be asked to leave). But it was obvious to me that it was directed towards me because forgiveness was not hte original topic of the evening. That's why I don't want to leave. I love the others and they have been there for me through some really difficult times the last year. I just don't know what to do! I didn't feel telling somebody that they hurt me and I want to have my business be my business was mean.

personally, I would tell these @ssholes to F off with absolutely no apology. But if you really want to stay, then you need to call that b!tch out in front of everyone; make her look totally stupid. She owes you an apology, not the other way around. Good luck. These people are unbelievable. 

lovebug33

Thanks, ladies for your advice. I think I really do want to stay in the group, so I am going to call the three ladies up today and meet with them. Or, if I do not have the balls, I'll e-mail them!

KL777

That's terrible.  I'm sorry this has happened.