Oh, the things people say..
..when they hear you're pregnant living abroad.
Ive had, "oh, are you coming back to the states to give birth?" (right, 36 hours on a plane to go somewhere where I have no insurance and no support network?!) "do you get disposable diapers there?" "do they do ultrasounds there? Or do you have to come to the states for that?" (whaatttt?) and the ever so common, "so you will finally move back!" I've also had people ask if the baby will be American (I'm American, my husband is south African, we live here in SA) and one cousin asked me if there were doctors here.
My favorite line is, "oh, I hear that quite a few people have had babies in Africa. They've actually been doing it for quite some time now."
So, what crazy things have people said to you?
Home in the bush.
Re: Oh, the things people say..
I think I've heard all of those, many, many times. Even from people here! The number of people who have asked if we are going back to the states for the birth is bizarre. We've lived in the UK for 6 years now and obviously don't have insurance in the states so why on earth would I do that?
And, from family/friends in the states, it's a bit surreal - so many people have asked if the care here is okay and if we have baby supplies here - I live in Scotland, we have Amazon and hospitals and midwives and anything else you get in the states. It's seriously such a strange question.
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks
Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks on Nov 27 2012
Thanks, but home us whereever we are, we have jobs and a life and why would we move back and start over because we were having babies?
They keep wanting us to move back so I can be a haus frau and he can go work in the oil industry. Um, WTF would we want to do that????
I think most people know Scandinavia has good health care, so no one really expected me to go anywhere or thought there weren't diapers here. Although, I mentioned to my mother that I had a hard time finding nice. affordable maternity clothes, and she "helped" by sending me a large package of size XXL shirts and yoga pants. So clearly we were not on the same page about what "nice, affordable maternity clothes" means. Otherwise I didn't hear that much that was stupid.
I don't think asking if baby will be American is all that stupid, really, since every country has their own rules about citizenship requirements, and most people have no idea what they are unless they have a reason to look into it. I had a LOOOOT of people ask me things like "so you're Danish now?" after I married a Dane. I mean, I rolled my eyes a lot, but I can't expect the whole world to know how much Denmark hates foreigners and how hard they make the immigration process, even for spouses. I had people ask if the baby would have to choose between American or Danish citizenship, and they don't, but it's not a stupid question since Denmark doesn't otherwise allow dual citizenship at all, and I believe there are some countries that make you choose when you turn 18 or something? So many different rules.
The other questions mostly make up for it, though. Yeah, I bet everyone flies to other countries just to get ultrasounds. Totally makes sense!
Though, there were actually posts on IN about flying to other countries to have babies. It was definitely more exception than rule!
The, "where are you giving birth" question gets asked often enough in these parts because it's not totally outside of the realm of possibility that you'd go somewhere else. People don't usually leave Malaysia to give birth, but most companies will pay for it if you want to. For example, H's company will pay for me to go to Singapore.
I would probably ask the question of someone living in Jakarta because I'd have follow up questions about the process of having a baby in a third country that I can really only get from someone who has done it. I'd ask them because I've never heard of an expat living in Indonesia actually giving birth there. They all seem to either go to Sing or back home to Australia (if that's where they're from).
Hi, I am South African, so many SA connections are showing their pretty faces on this board. Call me excited! Now I live in the UK, where in SA are you?
When I was living in America I got amazing things said to me, I.e. do you get ink in your pens? You can't be South African because you are white, you must be a missionary from Ireland. I heard that people from South Africa have to go to France to buy groceries (yes, really! We hop on a boat and just swing by and pick up some groceries). And then my favourite, some guy actually stopped talking to me after arguing with me that South Africa is part of Rhodesia (Zimbabwe). He just could not under standard that South Afican is a separate country and Southern Africa is a region.
That is beyond crazy.
My husband works for the us government...they pay for me to go back to the us to have my baby. I am having a repeat c-section and I feel better knowing I will have my same doctor. I will only be in Canada but for these reasons will come back to the us for my c section.
I agree with PPs that the questions about citizenship aren't things that the average person knows, so I wouldn't call them stupid questions. I am asked all the time about my citizenship since I married a German (no, it's not automatic) and about DD's (dual for life).
Before DD I was asked by several friends and family members in the US if I was planning on coming back to the US for the birth. I also don't know why people would think that was normal, and I just explained that our insurance was in Germany, I liked my doctor, and I lived 10 min away from one of the best university hospitals in Germany. To get the same level hospital in the States, it would be a 1.5 hour drive from my parents. And since DD ended up being a preemie, it would have been a moot point anyway - when exactly should I go back to ensure that I give birth in the States?
Anyway, over the years my family has gotten the picture that Germany is a developed country and that I have access to pretty much everything they do (except brown sugar and cheetos, but hey), so I don't think anyone asked the "do you have diapers over there" questions.
BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence
aahhh, yes.
people assume the healthcare is not as good, but in fact, I think it's better than the states. I am in Germany.
Most of my fellow military wives here are trying for baby number two, so they can have two children born here, they all had great experiences.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
Home in the bush.