DH wants a motorcycle WWYD?

bluejayway

DH takes the bus to work, as his company provides an annual pass, and parking is like 20 a day down by his office. His commute takes like an hour each way. He expressed interest in getting a scooter, as he had one in college. He wants to get home to be with our DDs without taking two buses, transferring, etc.

The thing is, I grew up around Harleys. My stepdad drives them, I rode on them, my mom even had one. I get how bikes are fun, and I know my husband would be responsible on one. But gah, other cars scare the bejeezus out of me. And I'm not sure my husband is wanting one for the love to ride mentality or for the better commute option.

He took the motorcycle safety course and has his motorcycle license, and he's now wanting to buy an actual motorcycle not a scooter, like a cruiser not a crotch rocket. I've gone along with it, but now that he's going to look tomorrow, I'm having serious doubts. Would you ever let your DH or SO get one? I feel like the risk is higher than the reward. We've talked about it, and he kind of agrees, but then I feel like a witch for putting the kibosh on this small sliver of fun for my very hardworking guy. Hmm...

pinkshades05

I would feel the same way. Safety first! He has more than himself to live for.

KatelynEA90

My DH rides a motorcycle. Everyday.
It doesn't bother me any. He's careful about it and very aware of his surroundings.
Everything has a risk factor.

jju_stb_jju

DH has been looking into getting one as well and I am fine with it. I have been on them before and I know with the way dh drives he would be careful.

lancyjo

Hubs had 4 motorcycles over the few years before Aria was born. [3 rockets, 1 cruiser] He got rid of the last one just a few months before Aria was born.

He works a lot, and realized that he really wouldn't have time to ride once the baby came. Plus, there's that little nagging feeling of "what if I was out for a joyride and something happened?" He plans to get another one when Aria is older, but for now we're fine without it.

In your shoes I'd just tell my hubs how I feel about it, but I'd probably let him make the final decision.

Eta: Not to be morbid, but if he gets a bike I'd also be getting some life insurance. [if you don't have it already] It's better to be safe than sorry, IMO.

Lena122

I won't let DH get one. But he wants one for fun, not for practical reasons. He also doesn't know how to ride one. Sure he could learn, but he has no experience right now.

Call me a btch or controlling or whatever you want but they are just too dangerous. Sure everything has a risk factor but it's well known that driving a motorcycle is much riskier than driving a car or riding a bus. It's just no worth it to me at this point.

CotterpinDoozer

Dh and I both actually have motorcyvjcles but haven't ridden since well before LO was bornm well before I was PG.  It just scares me too much now.  Yes, I know DH rides very safe - but there are so many bike accidnets where the biker just gest hit becasue the driver didn't see him - and those accidnets are catastrophic.

Jen0204

I would make it clear that I was way more comfortable with the scooter idea, for safety and financial reasons (aren't scooters much cheaper? I would guess insurance would be as well).  But if he really, really wanted it I wouldn't stop it and would just be adamant about him wearing a helmet at all times. If he had any visions of coasting down the highway with wind blowing through his hair I would make it clear that wouldn't be happening. If he's going to do it he should be safe about it.

MollySm

We talked about this early on so H knows how scary I find them (and feels the same way). I would definitely talk to him seiously about your concerns!

sparks2987

DH has 2 bikes right now( cruiser and rocket) and a dirt bike, his dad, brother, BIL, all his friends, my mom  and step dad all have bikes. Of cource there is a risk factor, there is when you drive a car too...it is just part of life.

I dont mind them at all, then again DH had a bike when we met almost 9 years ago, so it has always been a part of our lives together

bluejayway

CotterpinDoozer:

Dh and I both actually have motorcyvjcles but haven't ridden since well before LO was bornm well before I was PG.nbsp; It just scares me too much now.nbsp; Yes, I know DH rides very safe but there are so many bike accidnets where the biker just gest hit becasue the driver didn't see him and those accidnets are catastrophic.

Yeah, that's the real worry. DH will be careful, wear the appropriate gear, full face helmet, etc. But other drivers are the problem. And there is no buffer in a bike. I personally have known people who have died or become disabled from bike accidents where they were not seen by other cars.
We also live in Seattle, so it's dark and rainy a lot of the year. Not exactly the most practical commuter.

fredpuma

My dad rode with a group of guys on the weekend sometimes that could get a little rowdy if provoked. One time a car pulled onto the highway right into the side of one of his buddies. The guy swerved and missed getting hit, thank God, then proceeded to pull right up next to the lady and kick the ever living shiz out of the door of her car while going sixty five down the highway. I'd very anything that she looks for motorcycles now. But that's the sort of thing I can see my H doing, so he won't be getting a bike.

Shawnee11507

NOPE, no go here. No way in heck I would let my DH get a motorcycle to drive into downtown Seattle. No matter how safe a rider he is, he can't control the other idiots on the road. And you're right- there is no buffer. He gets hit, he's not going to bump his head on the steering wheel- he is going flying off that thing. I know quite a few people that have had motorcycles. Two are dead and the rest got injured and rid of the bike. I only know 1 that still rides for fun occasionally but he also had to have back surgery a couple years ago from accidents.

If DH wanted to ride for fun now and then, in the country, where there isn't a lot of traffic... maybe... but I'd rather not. 

HattieLove

I have a bike, but I haven't ridden it since before I got pregnant. Like PPs said, it doesn't matter how good of a driver you are, most of the accidents are caused by cars not seeing motorcycles. 

That being said, I think you should tell your DH how you feel, but let him make the decision.  

MrMrsandBaby

I can't wait for DH to get another bike. When Allison was six months old we went for a weeks d on a bike ride and she stayed with my parents. It was great! Also I can't imagine telling him he can't have something...I know how I would respond if be told me I couldn't have something I wanted...

bluejayway

MrMrsandBaby:

I can't wait for DH to get another bike. When Allison was six months old we went for a weeks d on a bike ride and she stayed with my parents. It was great! Also I can't imagine telling him he can't have something...I know how I would respond if be told me I couldn't have something I wanted...

Yeah, literally all I said was "I'm worried about you on it." I was even the one helping arrange bike browsing trips with my stepdad for him, etc. so it's not like I've been denying him something he wants. And in a classic kneejerk reaction from my DH, he's now said he isn't getting one and won't even discuss it, but is acting bent out of shape about it, quietly stand offish. Ugh. Men. So now this will be my fault.

MrsLindinger0905

I'm not completely against motorcycles, but I have told DH that as long as were living in Columbus we will not be owning one. I'm scared as it is driving in my car around the city, people around here are idiots. He agrees with me and has started putting his effort into saving for a 4 wheeler he can leave at his dads instead.

sooner1981

bearsbearsbears:

I don't understand the posters who are saying: "everything has a risk factor."  Well, that is true, everything does have a risk factor and some things are riskier than others. Riding a motorcycle is riskier than driving a car.  Most of the times, accidents are probably not the fault of the cyclist, but they are still on the losing end.

I don't like the whole, "would you let..." argument, since asking/granting permission is not how DH and I operate. However, DH would never get a motorcycle.  He is a  MD and when he was a student, he spent many nights in the ER.  Most times, he would call me up and tell me about a horrible motorcycle accident and what happened to the biker (and this was in NY which has a helmet law in place).   

This is us.  Doctors don't ride motorcycles for a reason.  It is not about your own safety--it is about the decision-making skills of the random drivers on the road that you would be entrusting your life to on a mortorcycle, as one screw up on their part, even at pretty low speeds, creates accidents that motorcyclists generally don't walk away from.