Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Mother in law favors other grandchild(vent)

DH and I moved to the same town as his sister so the kids could grow up together and my MIL is constantly at my SIL's house and spends the whole day there helping her and I am expected to go there with DS all the time. When I don't, they are ok with it but she doesn't stop by to see DS. They babysit for him but only at my SILs house even though he doesn't sleep well there. My nephew ( who is almost 2) gets very upset if my MIL holds my son and she quickly puts him down. Ok, when he was 5 months ok I get that, but he's almost 1 now. It makes me mad! Ok thanks for the vent! 

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RSVP Deadline: 10/2

Re: Mother in law favors other grandchild(vent)

  • Thats aggrevating. Do you ever ask her to sit at your house? What does she say? I would almost not even give her the option next time you need her to babysit just ask her if she's free and then say okay can you come over at such and such time?
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  • Is your SIL her daughter? If she is, is it possible she might just feel more comfortable over there and feel like she is imposing on you if she comes to your house? That said.. the putting LO down because your nephew is jealous would get to me too..
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  • Yeah SIL is her daughter and I get that she feels more comfortable there but we are really close too and I told her that it would mean a lot to me if she came by here more often. See my theory is that if they are going to be raised so close together almost like siblings, I think it's important that the grandparents have an equal relationship. If we lived in another town, that's one thing, but I don't want it to be so obvious that my kids have a different relationship with them than their cousins. Sure she sees him a lot, but that's only because I take him to my SILs so he can spend time with his grandmother. Then what happens is I fall behind in stuff I need to do at home. It's not a big deal, it is what it is. I don't want to force her. I just feel like I want them to bond more than she does.

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  • I have the same issue with my in laws and BIL/SIL.  Although they just favor them because they have a bad relationship and they are afraid if they don't BIL/SIL will keep their son from them (IL's words not mine).  J will pick up on the favoritism one day...I'm tired of talking to my IL's about it, if they want to treat them like that they are the ones missing out on J.
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  • Totally get where you're coming from - the same holds true for MIL with SIL/BIL (SIL is the daughter)...  The thing is, there's only so much you can do and it's really best to just "roll with it" and consider yourself blessed that she'll even babysit!  DD gets to go over there about once or twice a month, but MIL refuses to watch DS even to simply come on up to our house and hold/snuggle/hang out with DS while I'm home!  It's made it pretty much impossible for us to have any time with just DH & I because we have no one to watch both kids so getting away from them is like asking for a miracle because of DH's work schedule.

    It is what it is, remember that they have the choice to be in your child's life and to what extent too.  Don't beat yourself up about the relationship they're fostering and just do your best when it comes your time to be a MIL that all grandkids get treated equal. 

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  • starting to see this with my girls and my niece....its nothing blatant but little things I notice...I'm trying not to get crazy about it since my girls are the only grandchildren my parents have and they will get all the attention from them but it still bothers me ea little...
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