Advice on my preschooler (4 y/o)

aforst

DS1 has been in a daycare setting (in home, but run like a center) since around 2. She was doing a preschool cirriculum with them, but all the kids his age have left or are leaving soon. DH and I decided that it would be best to move DS to a more formal preschool setting with kids his own age.

He started his new preschool on Monday.  He had a great day on Monday, no issues.  When I picked up Tuesday, he was on green (second to the worst) b/c he wasn't following instructions during an activity and he was pushing some friends.  When I asked him about the pushing he said that the kid was in his way.  We discussed better ways to handle the situation.  Saying "excuse me" if someone is in our way, being patient and waiting for them to move, or talking to the teacher if it becomes a problem.  We don't put our hands on other kids, he knows this. 

When I picked up yesterday, he was on blue (the worst).  The kids all have their names on a clothespin for the color chart.  He apparently moved all of them.  I asked him why and he said he thought the kids were being good.  We explained that he is not to touch that, only the teacher does.  I was also told that while other kids were playing with blocks, he was taking the blocks or smacking them out of the kids hands.  We had a very long talk last night about how this behavior is going to influence how the other kids think about him.  I asked him how he thought the kids would think of him if he was pushing and hitting blocks out of their hands.  He said they would think he was a mean boy.  I asked him how he wants the kids to think of him and he said a nice boy.

I cried the whole way home yesterday.  I don't know if I'm overreacting or how concerned I should be about any of this.  I hate that the first impression his teacher and these kids are getting of him is this behavior.  He really is such a sweet boy.  I don't know if he just needs time to figure out how to make new friends or what.  The teacher said "well, it is his first week."  I do understand that, but these are all things he knows not to do.

Any advice?  Does this sound normal?  Are we doing the right things?  Anything else we could be doing to help him?

He did have the occassional issue at his old daycare, but it was just here and there.

I know that was really long.  I really appreciate if you read it and have some thoughts.

J&A2008

He is going through a big, big transition right now.  He also is starting later in the year than the other kids, so he missed out on the classroom's orientation and transition time.  He's adjusting to new people, new room, new schedule. 

Unless the teacher is recommending you take more action, I'd let him settle in before I worry about anything. 

michaels_girl

it's his first week, and it's a big change.  I think he's being completely normal.  Follow the teacher's cues. 

grr_aargh

Count me in with the other ladies. 

Take a deep breath.  Do fewer lectures.  Ask him high/lows for his days.  Allow them to address bad behavior there.  If problems continue outside of the first month, I'd take a firmer stance at home.  

aforst

Thank you all for responses.  I tend to think the worst in most situations.  I'm always afraid I'm going to miss an opportunity to teach him and the behavior will get away from us.

As far as the crying, I was just so sad yesterday.  I know going to a new school where you don't know anyone is hard.  I get so worried that he's feeling sad or nervous or left out.  I want people to know the sweet boy I know.  I also know that I'm going to have to let some of this go.  I know he has to be his own person and experience this stuff on his own. 

I really appreciate your response Fred, you are always very honest and straightforward and it's always very helpful. 

ktshoff

Just breath.  My little man was in an in home daycare too and switched to a "real" preschool and daycare this year.  He is still adjusting to the transition.  He too gets the green dots and has gotten yellow as well- which is worse.  His teacher told me that this is normal behavior for a preschooler.  He has thrown blocks, taken toys, not listened, etc. but is a lot better each day!!!

 He will be fine and having fun in no time!