PCP/TTC/ATP Wednesday & QOTD

2moms2b

Alright ladies it has been way to quiet around here.  What's going on, changes, updates, next steps? 

QsOTD - How do you handle the holidays with family?  Is it different every year or do you see certain people certain days?  Do you like it or would you like to change it?  If you have kids, did that change your holiday plans?

Kershnic

Finished taking Aygestin yesterday, have done 6 nights of Lupron injections. I continue Lupron until next week and then go for suppression u/s and b/w.

This is our fourth year of spending Xmas together before we were engaged we always went to our own families for Xmas and then came back together for New Year's. So far we've managed to spend 4 or 5 days with one family for Xmas and then 4 or 5 days with the other for New Year's, alternating who gets Xmas. It means a lot of crazy travel but it has worked out so far. Unfortunately my birthday is in the middle, so we've spent my birthday in the airport two out of the last three years. This year is my family's Xmas, and my parents' house won, so I'm excited for that.

clairmeij

TTC:- Right now we're officially pregnant, and waiting for our first ultrasound to feel very good/connected to the whole thing. I have a very strong self preservation gene, so I tend to err on the side of caution for a while. I am VERY excited, but a bit scared to bond with this pregnancy until I know we're good to go.On the plus side, as you all probably know, the HCG levels are doubling well, so that makes me feel a bit more positive about the outcome. Hoping that I can avoid morning sickness until I get back from London, knowing that its not likely

QOTD - this has been a point of much discussion in our house. For the last 15 years or so, I have enjoyed holidays as a relaxed time to curl up and read a book, eat 'special' holiday food and enjoy my own (and my partner's) company. V is very close to her family, and it is always assumed that they will get together and each holiday is an all day affair, which involves breakfast and late night movies together. Because my family are dispersed all over the world, V has had me join her at her family's house every holiday (including St Patrick's day) for the last 5 years. Recently I've said that I would like to split them, so that we start our own traditions on some holidays. I told her that I would really like our child to come first for the 'kid' holidays like Christmas, Easter, etc., so I'd like to start those days off at our home, just our family, and then move on to the larger family gathering. With that in mind, and after some brutal arguments, we are going to change things up a bit this year. Her sister in law and I don't really get on, and it makes things difficult that most of their family holidays are celebrated at her house. We'll see how this year goes. We're doing Thanksgiving at our house, Christmas at the in law's house, I will probably ask that we skip the breakfast and head over for lunch. 

 Is it always this difficult joining two different hoilday styles together?

JGY

Chugging along strong (I think) with this pregnancy, we'll be 19 weeks tomorrow.   Recently realized that S can't make the previously scheduled time for our anatomy scan next week, and they're booked almost a month out, so we're hoping for a cancellation for an alternate time that might work.  I really want her there and I know she wants to be there.

Had a scare this morning when I woke up at 4am to REALLY strong cramping.  It lasted for about 45 minutes.  It was continuous, not coming and going with any pattern, and painful.  No bleeding though, and it did resolve, so my MW's nurses said they weren't concerned. 

QOTD - Ugh.  That's all I can say.  Both of our families have strong traditions and want our presence for holidays.  But we live in MN, her family is in IN, and mine is in NY.  For many years we either went to our own families' places, or I went to both (traveling from one to the other on X-mas Day).  But for the last few years we have alternated.  It's not a great solution, and I always feel EXTREMELY guilty missing holidays (especially X-mas) with my family, but we've gotten through it. 

I'd love to say that in the future we'd try to have everyone up to MN, at least once every few years, but I don't see that happening either.  My Dad is 80, hates to fly, and gets really, truly, bone-chillingly cold when he's out here.  He IS coming out this year for Thanksgiving, which I never thought would happen, but I'm not counting on that ever happening again even with the coming LO. 

 

2moms2b

At time I am still growing these boys. They have started to get hiccups all the time and that is a very weird sensation.  I freaked out the first time thinking something was wrong lol.

Holidays - Man o man is this a touchy topic in our house as everyone (our mom's) are already fighting for holidays next year due to the boys being here. For the last 7 years we have been doing the following and regardless of what our mom's say, I not changing it but a few minor changes.

Thanksgiving - we alternate between our families and this year it is with my family.  Our parent's houses are just too far apart to justify that drive.

Christmas Eve - with M's family at her brothers house which is about 10 minutes from us

Christmas Day - with my family about an hour or so away

Christmas Day evening - we either go back to M's brothers house to spend time with the kids or we come home and breath for a bit.

New Years Eve - is normally spent at home just us.  We never make it to midnight so we do our own little toast before going to bed.

New Year's Day - It changes from year to year but we typically go out to M's parents or my parents for cabbage and black eyed peas.  Sometimes we even host but rarely.

Easter has never been a big one for us as we didn't have kids but I guess this will change. 

Our challenge will be next year when the boys are here.  Christmas will work just fine but we are going to have to find a way to split Thanksgiving.  Our parents live about an hour and a half apart with our house directly in the middle of that.  We finally told them for Thanksgiving next year (as we both have black Friday off and don't need to be home early) that someone is going to have to do an early lunch with someone else doing a dinner if they both want to see us.   Also for Christmas eve we will be coming home earlier to do Christmas with the boys, then home longer Christmas morning so we can do Santa with the boys before heading to my parents.  I have a feeling things will change once we do it the first year especially as the boys get older.  Who knows at this point, I was just curious to everyone else's schedule as I feel like ours runs us ragged. 

2brides

ATP: Life is pretty status quo. Kids are doing pretty well in school - though someone got a failing grade on a test and I learned that I took the failing grade personally. Huh. Interesting. Need to get over that. And also realize that failing a 1st grade social studies test doesn't mean academic doom and gloom. 

QOTD: The first year we were together, we tried to do the - we'll go to my parents house for Thanksgiving and ILs house for Christmas (both sets of parents lives 700-900 miles from us and no where near each other.) That lasted 1 season and we stopped doing that in favor of staying home. It was crazy expensive, hard to get off of work (we are only closed on the actual holiday and getting coverage is ridiculous), and everyone was so harried and crazy that it wasn't a nice relaxed fun visit. And having parents/ILs at our house isn't the relaxed/fun atmosphere we wanted.

Pre-kids we volunteered on Thanksgiving (and will resume this once the kids are older) but now we go to a museum in the morning (all of the Smithsonian are open) and then come home to do an easy/quick meal (turkey breast in the crockpot, cranberry chutney, sweet potato casserole, and cupcakes.) The ILs are going to be here this year (they are coming that week to babysit the kids for the first time!) but I assume we'll do the same things.

Christmas has always been low-key. Pre-kids we hung out in pjs, watched movies, opened gifts, napped, and read. L likes to open gifts gradually throughout the day so isn't all done by 7am. :P  These days, the kids get their stockings/Santa gifts (unwrapped), we eat breakfast and the kids play, and then we work on opening gifts under the tree. A good friend typically comes over to hang out and we just relax/read/nap/watch tv/play.

2mommiesinoh

Ky is super talkative lately and really into imaginative play. I just love hearing what she will come up with next.

I am still really wary of visits with A. We had one supervised visit on Monday and she is coming to tumbling tonight with us (for the first time ever even though I have offered multiple times). She is insisting she is trying and she is seeing a counselor and that is greta but I also feel like she is pushing me to just let her have Ky back. It does not work that way. You break my trust and one counseling session and handing over money for a carseat I have been pushing for her to hlep buy since August does not gain it back..sorry I jsut do not work that way, apology or not.

QOTD: I almost started dreading holidays. Ann's family always have like three things even though everyone lives within like 15 minutes of each other up north so it always turned into multiple things for her with us ALWAYS being late to my family's ONE function. Having Ky made it even more stressful with her family because there were now kids involved but less in the act that she finally outed herself to her extended family since I was expecting and was not going to be the knocked up roommate...

This year I have no idea what will ahppen. We ahda  schedule worked out but it was going to be hard to maintaina nd knowing how Ann is ALWAYS late form her family would have probably ended up in a huge fight. Now that visits have ceased for the time being I am not quite sure how holidays are going to proceed...sigh.

hlke

TTC: BFN on Monday.  We have a break planned this cycle while we wait for the RE, but a forced break for the holidays is looking likely because travel schedules make insems impossible.  We'd have to give up going to see my family at Christmas, and I'm not willing to do that.  I'm frustrated, but trying to stay calm.

QOTD: C's family kind of fails at holidays and planning and having traditions.  We've been doing Thanksgiving with her family (at C's brother's mother-in-law's house, because C's family doesn't host anything) and Christmas with my family, and her family didn't even seem to care they don't get Christmas.  I've spent Thanksgiving with my family twice in 14 years, but my mom still sulks that I don't see them.  I think things will probably stay this way once we have kids, but we would also consider hosting Thanksgiving, knowing full well that C's family wouldn't come if we did.

clairmeij

Sorry to hear about your BFN hIke. I hope that the holiday season is calming and peaceful and that you guys get back into the swing of the TTC stuff with renewed energy next year. I would never have thought that this process could be so emotionally draining. I hope that some good family time will help reduce that frustration for you.

leapgirl8

With only one exception, we've always spent Thanksgiving with her family in either Florida or Atlanta, and Christmas with my family in either Kansas or Oregon. It works out well because we each get to spend our favorite holiday with our families, and also her birthday is on or near Thanksgiving. This year we are spending both with my family. We just got back from a 5-day trip to Atlanta so we could see the same people (and they could meet the babies), but we could avoid Thanksgiving travel. It was plenty hard/crazy enough without the Thanksgiving crowds. We're going to Kansas for Christmas. 

I doubt this plan will change in the upcoming years. Although both our families would prefer to have us for both holidays, they understand that we can't make that happen.

JoySeattle

PCP: May.an Massage today. Feels good to do something PCP related that's relaxing. We're going to a LGBTQ Conception Planning class for 5 weeks starting tomorrow.

QsOTD - How do you handle the holidays with family?  Is it different every year or do you see certain people certain days?  Do you like it or would you like to change it?  If you have kids, did that change your holiday plans?

 C's family has always lived far away so we go to mine usually. The first year we moved into our house we hosted Thanksgiving, and last year because I wasn't eating food. We don't celebrate Christmas, so we usually just use it as time off together/with family.  When we have kids, we'll probably spend the early holidays at home or with family in WA, OR or CA.

ball.and.chain

Finished with BCP.  Day 8 of Lupron.  Suppression check tomorrow.  Eeek!

QOTD: My wife works retail, so although she gets Thanksgiving and Christmas off, she isn't off the day before or after either one, and one day isn't enough time to drive to her family, celebrate, and come back.  So both holidays are always celebrated with my family, because they live near us.  We've told her parents they are welcome to come to us on either holiday, but it's never happened.  I think it's more likely to happen when there's a grandchild to visit.

This probably won't change too much when we have kids, since we will be even less inclined to travel at holidays with them.  We were actually saying we might even cut down on the time with my family on Christmas to have more time with the kid(s) to ourselves.  That won't be popular.

jennicole85

I'm a little late to this...  Oops!

TTC - We're in another TWW.  We should find out if this cycle worked right before J's birthday (it's the 25th).  I have hope this cycle!  We had good timing and everything seemed to fall into place with our new donor.  Here's to hoping!

QOTD - Holidays can be tricky for us.  I typically travel during Thanksgiving or Christmas to either Texas or Minnesota (that's where most of my family lives) and then we spend the other holiday with her family together.  This year I'm going to my mom's for Thanksgiving in Texas (she'll obviously be with her family) and then we'll both go to her parents for Christmas (with dinner at her grandmother's on Christmas Eve).  Occasionally I won't make it to see either side of my family for either holiday.  When that happens we just go to see her family.

Once we have kids, things will probably stay close to the same - with one exception.  When I travel to see my family (which will hopefully happen on a more regular basis) she will come too.  Her mother will throw a fit (she's not a fan of her whole family not coming to holiday dinners and usually gives J a huge guilt trip), but she'll have to get over it. 

2moms2twins

hlke:

TTC: BFN on Monday.  We have a break planned this cycle while we wait for the RE, but a forced break for the holidays is looking likely because travel schedules make insems impossible.  We'd have to give up going to see my family at Christmas, and I'm not willing to do that.  I'm frustrated, but trying to stay calm.

QOTD: C's family kind of fails at holidays and planning and having traditions.  We've been doing Thanksgiving with her family (at C's brother's mother-in-law's house, because C's family doesn't host anything) and Christmas with my family, and her family didn't even seem to care they don't get Christmas.  I've spent Thanksgiving with my family twice in 14 years, but my mom still sulks that I don't see them.  I think things will probably stay this way once we have kids, but we would also consider hosting Thanksgiving, knowing full well that C's family wouldn't come if we did.

aww shucks sorry bout the BFN i was so waiting for your announcement. We were slaves to our RE office. O geez.. we moved around a few trips and rearranged everything !

madisonpeas

2moms2twins:

hlke:

TTC: BFN on Monday.  We have a break planned this cycle while we wait for the RE, but a forced break for the holidays is looking likely because travel schedules make insems impossible.  We'd have to give up going to see my family at Christmas, and I'm not willing to do that.  I'm frustrated, but trying to stay calm.

 

aww shucks sorry bout the BFN i was so waiting for your announcement. We were slaves to our RE office. O geez.. we moved around a few trips and rearranged everything !

 

Ditto.  So sorry to hear about your BFN

hlke

Thanks for the support everyone.  C is taking this one especially hard, but I think we are both looking forward to the break, actually.  I also think we'll both feel better once we've talked to the RE and have a plan.