I'm a flake...

Chocodoxies

So my DD is nearly 5 and in a transitional kindergarten class. I quickly offered to volunteer every Monday for her class and her teacher happily accepted. What was I thinking?! I am exhausted! I was so excited and I really want to be that mom who is very involved, but I have these migraines that I get at least twice a week, and when you add in the basic exhaustion and the RLP I have not felt good enough to volunteer even one Monday yet! So today I woke up with a migraine, and I almost kept DD home in leu of driving with a migraine and facing her teacher one more Monday to tell her I can't help out... again...

My husband convinced me to just come clean and tell her that I jumped the gun. That my migraines are too much and I just can't help out like I thought I could. Well, I did, and she was polite. A little too polite. A wave of the hand and a no problem before she walked away. I can see that I have made a terrible impression on this woman, and frankly I worry that it will reflect negatively on my daughter.  I did supervise the first field trip to the pumpkin patch on Friday, and it took me all weekend to recover. Ugh, I feel so terrible about leaving her in the lurch like this. 

Any words of advice on how I can make it up to this teacher?  

panacea05

That's a tough one. I'm sure this teacher was really looking forward to your help, but your health absolutely comes first. Did she ask for volunteers, or did you just come forward and offer to help? Either way, I'd probably send a nice card and maybe a box of chocolates, just to let her know how sorry you really are.

And if she lets this have any impact on her impression of your daughter, she's an awful teacher. Your daughter has nothing to do with this.

rkrichey

Ohh, that's a tough one.  I think your husband was right by telling you to come clean with her.  I'm not a teacher so I don't know exactly how she would feel but I would probably try and volunteer for as many one-time things as I felt up to doing (like the pumpkin patch trip you did last week).  If she's ever been pregnant, especially with another little one running around, she'll understand.  Good luck

Mrs.DeliaMarieP

I don't think you did anything wrong at all, and I don't think you need to "make it up" to her.  You offered at a time when you weren't having problems with migraines, or thought that it wouldn't get in the way as often as it has.  I think your DH was right to just have you come clean rather than seeming shady each week as if you were skipping out on things out of laziness, etc.

If she doesn't take your "confession" at face value, that is her problem, but I don't think it will have any ramifications on your daughter (at least it certainly shouldn't!).  If you are able to supervise other field trips or have a Monday that you can help, and don't feel awful, then do it.

Maybe you can shoot her an email or call her up and explain in further detail.  She was probably just very busy this morning, and really didn't have time to discuss anything.  Tell her that you really want to help, and feel terrible for leaving her in a bind the past few weeks, and ask if you can leave it as an "open" kind of thing, where she gets coverage, and if you are feeling okay then you can come in, or something like that.  If she says she can't do that because she only needs one helper or whatever, well, at least you tried.

bootselven

Do you know any other parents that would be willing to fill in for you? If you could convince someone else to fill in, she wouldn't be "in the lurch" anymore.

PhoenixBritt

In my opinion you did nothing wrong. As a parent it is really kind to volunteer in your child's classroom but you are not obligated to do that. You had good intentions and can't control your migraines or how this pregnancy is impacting you. I would just help out when you can but you shouldn't feel guilty.

Chocodoxies

Thank you ladies. You have made me feel a bit better. I just volunteered, she didn't ask me specifically. I think that is part of why I feel so badly. It isn't like she pressured me into this and then I flaked, I offered up my time and then I just failed to follow through. I think perhaps a good e-mail explaining the whole thing to her would be a good idea. I could see that she was busy this morning, and like I said she wasn't rude. She was very polite and waved it off, but I could tell it was a "I figured you were a flakey mom" kind of polite wave. I think perhaps a nice note will do something to patch up the hole I dug, and I will continue to offer my time when I am feeling good enough. I really enjoyed the field trip, it was just exhausting. 

Chocodoxies

So I wrote her an e-mail and I was just straight forward in my apology. I said I was sorry that I had, without prompting, offered up my time only to fail to follow through, and that I was very thankful for her polite attitude toward me regarding my flakiness. I figure, if you are upset with someone, and they apologize and say everything you are already thinking (She is such a flake... I'm sorry I am such a flake) it is hard to stay too upset about it.

She promptly wrote back! She said she totally understood and it wasn't a big deal at all. She even mentioned that though she was fortunate that her pregnancies were both quite calm, her deliveries were awful. She said she could use me on Halloween for the party as a chaperone and even gave me a breakdown of the day and the times during that day that she would really be in need of a parent helper.  I feel so much better.  The fact is, I guess I am a bit flakey and that is why it bothered me that I left that impression. I can't argue with who I am, I can only attempt to improve what I know needs improvement.

Thank you all for your help. You all made me feel much better!