Sex while nauseous...need a guy's opinion — The Bump
Dads & Dads-to-be

Sex while nauseous...need a guy's opinion

My husband and I are newlyweds and had an "oops" about a week after the wedding. 

My problem is that I am 7 weeks now and I have HORRIBLE nausea throughout the entire day. All my husband wants is sex -- I can barely sit upright without wanting to vomit let alone "engage" in anything! I've asked him to read the baby books and he has read a little bit but he just doesn't understand and gets mad and distant when I turn him down :(

I know he's just hurt but it's nothing against him- why isn't he being sensitive to the fact that I can barely function-- I feel like all he ever thinks about is himself. 

Tell me the truth, am I being unreasonable for not wanting to have sex while being nauseous? 

Do all guys still want to have sex no matter how the woman is feeling? How can I get him to see my side of the situation? 

Re: Sex while nauseous...need a guy's opinion

  • You are not being unreasonable.  He really just needs to take matters into his own hands for awhile, so to speak.  Maybe you can lend him a hand.  Show him that you do care, but you don't feel good enough for sex.

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  • You are not being unreasonable.  If he had the stomach flu, you wouldn't demand that he put out. 

    This is one of the things where being a guy, it is hard to relate.  You saying you are dealing with nausea is one of those deals where it is not necessarily a visual ailment and since we don't experience that, it is hard to relate to how it feels.  

    Being newlyweds isn't helping your cause most likely because that is supposed to be crazy time, and now it is a totally different story and he's expecting what he's been told to expect early in marriage.  He has probably been told, read and heard that the first 3-6 months are supposed to be super happy hump hump time.

    Maybe what it would take is throwing up on him during sex to prove a point?  That might be an extreme, but simply explain that making love when you feel like you may throw up isn't romantic, or fun and that you would be more than happy to when you aren't feeling so bad (perhaps instigate with him when you are feeling good to show that it isn't him) and that he should in no way take it as anything other than you don't feel good.  If he can't accept that, then maybe he is just worried about him as far as sex goes. 

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  • "Do you want me to throw up all over you?"

    Of course, he might be a smart alec and just suggest doggy style.

     

    Crazy guess here; you guys waited until marriage to have sex, didn't you?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • He must be young...

    That said, of course he should understand that right now there are much bigger things going on, and his need to get off may not be among the top priorities at the moment.

    Maybe if you blew him, and then threw up while doing that, he would get the picture??

    No, I did not expect my wife to have sex when she was feeling sick at anytime during her pregnancy. I don't even understand that thought process.

    Now, 7 weeks after the fact, I am starting to flex my muscle, so to speak, on the whole sex thing. Doctor gave her the go ahead, so now it is about finding the time to follow through.

    I am a sex camel, so to speak, as we have not had intercourse since May!!!

    image

  • imageladyjenna13:

    I am a sex camel, so to speak, as we have not had intercourse since May!!!

    Now it makes sense why you are so combative in some threads, haha.


    image
  • you should probably just confront him on the issue if he truly loves you then he will understand, my wife and i didnt have sex for a long time as through her pregnancy she suffered from hypermesis gravydarum which is excessive vomitting during pregnancy so hes not the only guy out there thats going through it he just needs to suck it up an be a man that will be by his wife side no matter the case

  • imageladyjenna13:
    Now, 7 weeks after the fact, I am starting to flex my muscle, so to speak, on the whole sex thing. Doctor gave her the go ahead, so now it is about finding the time to follow through.

    I am a sex camel, so to speak, as we have not had intercourse since May!!!

    Don't get your hopes up too high. The drought will come to an end, but it's not likely to become a deluge of sex right away. Unless your lady is the type to say "go ahead and enjoy yourself and don't worry about me," the fact is dealing with the exhaustion of taking care of a baby definitely makes it tough to get down to business as much as you used to.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  • imageLuckyDad:
    imageladyjenna13:
    Now, 7 weeks after the fact, I am starting to flex my muscle, so to speak, on the whole sex thing. Doctor gave her the go ahead, so now it is about finding the time to follow through.

    I am a sex camel, so to speak, as we have not had intercourse since May!!!

    Don't get your hopes up too high. The drought will come to an end, but it's not likely to become a deluge of sex right away. Unless your lady is the type to say "go ahead and enjoy yourself and don't worry about me," the fact is dealing with the exhaustion of taking care of a baby definitely makes it tough to get down to business as much as you used to.

    I joke, of course!!!

    While I love being intimate with my wife, I also recognize that she is probalby not quite where she wants to be in terms of being ready to go at it. I am fine with that.  She is an awesome wife and still tends to my needs in other ways.  She knows when I need that release, so to speak....

    image

  • imageLuckyDad:

    "Do you want me to throw up all over you?"

    Of course, he might be a smart alec and just suggest doggy style.

     

    Crazy guess here; you guys waited until marriage to have sex, didn't you?

     

    Well, not to be TMI or anything, but we were having sex before marriage-- after the wedding we were still using protection....and ended up being that "3%". Surprise, right? 

  • Thanks guys!!!! You definitely helped. I actually let him know that I had sought others' advice and let him read the post and the comments and that helped a ton. He saw that he is not the ONLY person EVER to experience this...and actually started to worry about how I felt, which is nice :)

    Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  • imagePrime:
    imageladyjenna13:

    I am a sex camel, so to speak, as we have not had intercourse since May!!!

    Now it makes sense why you are so combative in some threads, haha.

    HaHa! I feel ya ladyjenna13.... 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • :)  

    Glad it all worked out!!!

    The truth is he was probably just disappointed being a newly wed.  Thats SUPPOSED to be the point where you let it all out... and it seems you weren't far off considering your OOPS moment... so it's probably a little bit of Disney Regret... (You know... "I waited in line for 2 hours and the ride was over in 2 minutes?").  

    As a man, i can tell you that it's a innate ability of ours to be able to "take care of ourselves" when its needed.  He just needs to recognize that you're where you are -- (hopefully you are communicating it to him so its not a case of ignorance of your woes) 

    That said -- Dont forget about him when you're feeling better!  Nothing like a dangling carrot you can grab once in a while.  

     Congrats! 

    - Hops (a.k.a Jon) BabyFetus Ticker Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers
  • You need to communicate saying that when you are feeling better that you will participate in sex.  The first trimester can be the roughest.  For me, my wife would let me know when she was able and when she couldn't.  It should be a two way street.  Just don't do like some women and cut him off completely for over a year.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • I didn't have nausea, but I had REALLY bad heartburn. There were times I "took one for the team" but other times I just could not. He understood after a while. I had my baby 2 months ago, and last week was given the go ahead by the Dr. to start again. It has been 3 1/2 months for my husband and I. It HURTS. Make sure he is WELL aware before you get to the end of your pregnancy that its a 6 week MINIMUM! I wish we had waited longer because I am terrified to try again now. We have never "not finished', but this attempt ended in tears. He might not be happy about not getting it all the time, but give him the go ahead to help himself and make sure you "help" him out when you can, and it will be okay! :)
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