Inlaw Vent/Need advice LONG

CGorgz

SFM: Inlaw vent/need advice LONG

Mobile sorry.

So I need some voice of reason or advice outside of myself and DH. I'm going to try to keep this short: DH's family BLOWS. We live half way across the country from them. DD is their first grandkid, I heard from noone the entire pregnancy. MIL has yet to get anything for DD like a stuffed animal, a onesie, anything, who is almost 7 weeks old. Didn't get a text or call when she was born up until yesterday. Thursday night, they arrive in our town after a 35 hour drive to see the baby. Noone wants to stop and see the baby because they need to smoke a bowl. Priorities, got it. Whatever. They say they will be to our house early yesterday morning. I clean and prep and DH is so excited to show off his DD all morning. Morning comes and goes. They don't show up until 3PM! They are staying 4 miles from our house! Little late, no? DH is a mess. MIL complains about the trip to our 7 week old for an hour. FIL asks if I'm planning on losing any more weight. Everyone just sits on the couch while DH is trying to get them to hold DD. they prefer to watch Cops. They stay for an hour and a half and then leave! Comment on the way out the door was. OK, see you tomorrow! Tomorrow?! DH is so beside himself with disappointment and I've been trying to tell him to focus on DD and I and that we are what matters. We have 4 more days of this. DH is wanting to tell them to just go home if today is the same. Any advice on how to help either side of this? I'd love for DD to spend time with his family but they don't seem to care.
Oh poo.

merricksmom

I have no advice. But I'd be hard pressed not to tell them to go F themselves. Sorry you're going through this. They sound like very selfish people.

bigbootyjudi

Uhm....wow. What jerks. Smoke a bowl? Are they 16? I hate adults that act like this.

Your H should talk to them. He should just be completely honest and let them know that their behavior is unacceptable. If they don't care what he has to say, I'd tell them to head on home and call me when they get their priorities straight. Your daughter doesn't need people like that in her life...especially if they're not going to give a crap about her...and smell like weed.

CGorgz

See that's what I'm saying! They talk all this talk on Facebook about how excited they are to meet and see her and then these past 2 days happen. Trying to impress Facebook maybe.

Insert sad face!

shakinros

Your poor H. My husband's sisters came to visit a couple weeks ago and all they did was take pics of themselves holding the baby for Instagram. Then go and sightsee.

Does his family respond well to tasks or outings? All of our parents do better if we have something planned or can ask them to do a specific thing. If I don't have anything planned and the tv goes on, everyone gets grumpy much faster.

So sorry you're going through this!

SpruceGrouse

If it isn't better when they next come, I would tell them to leave and why.

PhillyGal34

I am so sorry you are going through this. Why waste 35 hours each way?? for a one hour visit? Not that dd is a waste of a trip but they are wasting it! I'd ask where the logic in that is but I think we all know that logic went up in smoke for them. Ugh I would tell them to go home. Thankfully you don't have to see them often. Poor dh.

adrianLO

Were they like this when DH was growing up?  I would say just try and get DH to focus on the new family that the two of you are building.  Unfortunately, some people are just jerks and don't even realize how they affect people,  My DH and I have several of these types in our families, we have decided not to expect anything from them and to be thankful that our kids won't have to deal with this when they're adults.

rp-chicago-mom

merricksmom:

I have no advice. But I'd be hard pressed not to tell them to go F themselves. Sorry you're going through this. They sound like very selfish people.

This.

Msbean22

Ohh geez. Well, I'm not going to give you advice, just what I would do in this situation, and you can take it or leave it.

Contrary to the other posters, I *wouldn't* tell them to suck it and gtfo. Unless someone is being toxic, I never want to burn bridges with family. It never ends well, and can cause tensions with extended family members.

They sound like sucky people, though. I'm sorry