overseas visitation advice — The Bump
Military Families

overseas visitation advice

I posted this on another board but thought someone over on this board might have some insight into this. 

I just found out my daughters father is being stationed in germany. We were married 17 years so I was a military wife for a long time. Emma is only 7 months old right now, i want her to see her father but am unsure what would be a fair amount of time to agree to. I am going to talk to a child phycologist next week but it would be nice if someone has any real world experience with this kind of thing. I want to do whats in Emmas best interest but of course do not want to be seperated from her for to long. He wants 90 days visitation a year but wants her over there for a month at a time which i feel is too long at her young age.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Re: overseas visitation advice

  • Posting this on the blended family board may be a good idea.

    DH and I are on tw mainland and my SS is overseas. He is 8 years old. While he was under 5 DHs visitation was limited to when DH was where SS lives. Once he turned 5 DHs visitation changed to christmas of odd numbered years and every summer for 6 weeks. These visits are paid for my DH and he is required to escort SS to and from the visits. DH is also granted his birthday, fathers day and the weekends he is where SS is for visitation.

    At your dd age I think the amount of time your xh is asking for is unreasonable. He works full time correct? If you did approve of the 90 days who would care for her during those 30 day long visits? I can't imagine he would be taking leave that whole time so it's something to think about.

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

  • Loading the player...
  • imageHiS ChAmAoLe GiRL:
    Posting this on the blended family board may be a good idea.

    DH and I are on tw mainland and my SS is overseas. He is 8 years old. While he was under 5 DHs visitation was limited to when DH was where SS lives. Once he turned 5 DHs visitation changed to christmas of odd numbered years and every summer for 6 weeks. These visits are paid for my DH and he is required to escort SS to and from the visits. DH is also granted his birthday, fathers day and the weekends he is where SS is for visitation.

    At your dd age I think the amount of time your xh is asking for is unreasonable. He works full time correct? If you did approve of the 90 days who would care for her during those 30 day long visits? I can't imagine he would be taking leave that whole time so it's something to think about.


    Sorry for the spelling errors. I am on my phone

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

  • Loading the player...
  • At this age, it is 100% unreasonable for him to have that kind of visitation. IMO, visitation should be limited to him coming to visit her, not the other way around. I would recommend Skype sessions and such, which will involve very little participation on your LOs part, but it will be good for them to see each other. As she gets older, travel is to be expected. Right now? Hell no!
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • NSLNSL member
    Our opinions really aren't going to be very helpful, unfortunately.  You need to speak to a lawyer, not a psychologist or a message board.
  • imageNSL:
    Our opinions really aren't going to be very helpful, unfortunately. nbsp;You need to speak to a lawyer, not a psychologist or a message board.

    Actually they are helpful if applied correctly. If you and your xh can Come to an agreement on visitation you can save time and money by not going to court and lawyers. Having information from other families who have experience in this area will help you have an idea of what may work for your situation. Good luck

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image 

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards