I finally have a question to ask!
I feel pretty strongly that I will be a single person for most of my elderly years. Dh is a smoker, has some unrelated organ damage, and has other risk factors that he isn't willing to control at this point and hasn't been willing to for years (more than 10). He also has depression and destructive behavior issues. He has been fine for a while now and I know I can hope that one day he'll turn it all around, but I don't want to bet on that hope. The reasonable expectation is that these things will resurface and in the end result in needing extra care for while, possibly not working for a long while, and probably an earlier death.
How do I protect myself and my kids from these sort of declines financially? He has an elevated risk of getting cancer, heart disease, diabetes, and hurting himself. Is it just a matter of getting a bunch of life insurance on him? Cancer insurance? Stuffing my mattress?
Are there any sort of larger financial moves we should try to avoid like not getting an equity loan or not going back to school? (we both have BAs). We do own a house now but might buy a bigger one in a year or two that would be a 30 year mortgage again (I'm 30 now). I just have little faith that we'll be OK into our 60s or 70s financially unless we set ourselves up for it well early on.
I'm setting aside 15% for retirement right now.
ETA: I'm also not uncertain that we could end up divorced later in life, just with his destructive behavior issues. He nearly cheated on me last time at the height of his mental issues, and I'm not sure what he'd do if this came around again.