During my pregnancy, i really wanted to develop a running group or partner & a friend of a friend often ran with me up until I slowed down, and she was preparing for a 10 mile race.
Since I've had my LO, she & I have run together a few times, and often see each other at our mutual friends house for play dates, and I really thought we were becoming friends...
This past week she really stayed ON ME,to sign up for a local 5k in our area, nothing too big a deal to me. I've been a runner for a long time & a 5k is a comfortable run for me. So I assured her I signed up, as did she & her friend.Well yesterday at the expo, they show up together an hou later than the meeting time they told me, and by the time we walked to the area to get their bib numbers, they decided to run the half marathon instead of the 5k.
I felt like such a dork,,,I wanted to join them but multiple factors including having a newborn & sleep deprivation, kept me from throwing myself in it.
I ended up leaving the expo shortly after to cry to myself in my car...I feel like I'm hormonal & very upset & hurt... Their race started 15 minutes before mine so we couldn't even run together & I just felt so pressured & not ready to run that distance. The race was today & I almost didn't even go but I did, and did fine... Now they keep texting me & facebooking all kinds of crap about today & I just feel sad, hurt, stupid & defeated,,,in friendship & accomplishment...i have run a lot of races by myself,,,but I thought we were going to run this together because of how much she was asking me if I signed up yet, etc...I probably wouldn't have gone to this race in fact because it didn't have a 10k, and Im not ready for longer so I was going because we were all just going to do this together, for fun...or so I thought.
I know running a race like this is no small feat, especially with a 2 month old, but I don't know how to acknowledge my feelings appropriately. I don't feel like I want to run with them anymore. Am I being too big a baby?