To start off, my mother-in-law and I have a fairly good relationship. I actually have a better relationship with her than with my own mother. When we do have a disagreement over things we are normally able to work it out without my husbands help (it's not his job to deal with my problems, even if they are with his family).
So when my husband and I found out we were pregnant we always knew that the baby was not going to be baptized, so that they could make their own decision about religion on their own. I was never baptized as a baby, my parents left that decision up to me, the rest of my extended family is Roman Catholic. My husbands family is Christian, and he was raised as a Christian, went to Catholic School (I attended a public school) and church with his family when he was growing up.
When my husband and I were talking about getting married (before we were married, obviously), we went over the very important "talks" about children, religion, where to live, life goals, etc. We decided religion wasn't for us. My mother-in-law is very against this decision. Now she has gone and made arrangements with her pastor/church for our child's baptism, without our knowledge or approval.
When she left a message on our machine yesterday letting us know that when the time comes everything would be taken care of, my husband and I were completely shocked. While he believes in God, I have taken a stronger sense in science. We both talked about how to approach the subject with his mother and agreed on a plan of action where we would say that while we appreciated the thought (even though we do not), we wanted our child to be able to choose for themselves. My husband spoke with his mother who proceeded to break down in tears and "express her fears" that our child will be lost in life without the guidance of God, and while I have chosen a life that strays from God, it doesn't mean her grandchild has to be damned as well.
My husband did his best to comfort her and then decided to tell her that we (my husband and I) would come to a compromise and have the baby baptized. I am very upset about this, as this is not what we had decided together. He says that marriage is about compromise and that this is what he wants to make his mother happy. I was angry at this point and told him that I wanted to talk to his mother myself, as I am not budging on this. Needless to say he has left for work and I agreed to speak with him about our options when he comes home.
I do not believe in God, and feel betrayed by my husband because we had spoken about this years in advance when we decided to make a life together. When we found out we were pregnant we still felt that the decision we made was what was right for us. A phone call from his mother shouldn't change the promises that we made. How do I approach this? I truly am not willing to budge, I feel so very strongly about this, and I don't want to force beliefs on my baby when I do not believe in them myself. They should be free to make their own decisions (like I was).