Babies on the Brain
elli-m-f
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Baby Fever is making me miserable
elli-m-f
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Ok, I had my baby boy back in May and I love him more than anything. He makes me so happy and I cannot imagine my life without him. He is my world.....
But I want another one. I want another one so bad it hurts. It's all I can think about and I know baby fever is pretty normal once your LO starts growing up and becoming more independent, but I just feel like this is more and maybe I should be concerned... I've POAS every month since I gave birth, just hoping hoping I would see those two pink lines again. I pass the hospital where I had all of my OB appointments, ultrasounds, and gave birth and I just start bawling because I so badly want to experience that all again. Most women are happy to have their pre-pregnancy bodies back, but all I want is to have my belly again. I cannot go on some of my mommy groups because the pregnant women and pregnancy talk just break my heart and make me swell with envy. I cry every time I watch any kind of pregnancy or birth related show on TV, and I get miserable when I see a pregnant woman in public. I had my Mirena IUD inserted the other day and I bawled and wanted nothing more than to just get up and leave. And every day since I have regretted that I did not do just that.
I find myself constantly arguing with myself between whether or not it is a good time for another one. Sometimes I feel like it is the perfect time and I see all the points in favour of having another right away. Then I remind myself of all the reasons I shouldn't. I know the best thing is to wait. I know that my body needs a few years to get back. And I guess that it wouldn't really be fair to my son. My husband doesn't really want another one right away. He wants more, lots more, just not RIGHT NOW. We can afford it as my husband just got a pay raise, but we are planning on buying a new house next summer and I know we should be saving for that.
And I feel guilty because I am not as focused on my son because this is taking so much out of me.
I am seriously considering getting some help. I have tried talking about it with friends and family but no one is very helpful. Their first reaction is to immediately lecture me on why I don't want another one. Or they pat my head and tell me it's normal and I will get over it. Well, I'm not getting over it, it has been 4 months.
My husband hates seeing me like this and told me that if it is bothering me this much that we will book an appointment as soon as possible for me to get it taken out, but I know he is only saying this because he doesn't want to see me upset any more and will do anything it takes to make me happy.
I have an appointment with a public health nurse next Wednesday and I definitely plan to talk to her about it, but I am afraid she is just going to be like everyone else and tell me I'm being silly.
Anyway, cookies if you made it through this. Is any one else going through something similar or have in the past? Am I really just being silly, or could I really have a problem that I should see someone about?
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Re: Baby Fever is making me miserable
I think your reaction is warranted to see a doctor. I don't think it's a horrible idea if the nurse blows you off to try to get in with a psychiatrist. While it's normal to have some baby fever and miss the experience, I think the fact those emotions are having such a negative effect is concerning. You may have some PPD and it's better to err on the side of caution and get that chcked out.
Take care of yourself. I hope you start feeling like yourself soon.
I completely agree with everything in PP. Find a therapist or doc you like, trust, and are comfortable with. Keep yourself healthy so you can be there for your family, (current and future babies included)
And many hugs.
Met 12-2008, Married 05-2010, TTC 08-2017
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
My Ovulation Chart Simple Link: My Ovulation Chart
I am a mental health counselor.
One of the major pieces to the mental health puzzle is whether or not the issue(s) you are having impact your every day functioning.
Baby fever, even right on the heels of pregnancy, is normal. A lot of us miss the experience and long for that special time again. But if you literally cannot go out in public without having a breakdown, are having a physical (as well as emotional) reaction to normal things (like pregnant women, your old hospital, etc), and are just generally miserable - then by all means, see a counselor/therapist. They can really take a good look and see what is going on. Then you can move forward with treatment if needed.
Have you been screened for PPD? You really just had a baby and PPD can pop up for a long time post pregnancy.
Listen, many women do have babies close in age because they want them. It is not totally "crazy" to want children back to back. My kids are 16 months apart, and I love it! I don't feel sorry for my daughter (the older one) because she didn't get my undivided attention for years on end. Shoot, my son (my younger one) never got my undivided attention. And no second, third, fourth+ child ever does. They love each other very very much. And while it was super hard on me, I don't think either of my kids ever suffered or wanted for anything. If anything, I consider it a huge gift to them.
So, the desire to want another baby (even badly) is not, in itself, a red flag. It is obviously between you and your DH to decide what spacing works for your family. But the idea that you would be hurting your baby, hurting your body, etc... eh, notsomuch IMO. But from the sound of your post, it seems like this is more of an obsession than a desire. And if you are obsessed, and it is really causing issues at home and socially, please go get looked at and make sure you take care of yourself before you make any long term choices about your family.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
I want another baby also and I think about it and talk about it A LOT. I think I just want to be pregnant again because I miss that special time, it is so exciting and everyone is focused on you and you are creating a miracle inside of you. BUT I don't have break downs, I got an IUD and didn't cry because it ment I wouldn't be pregnant soon, I don't stay away from other pregnant women.
This sounds more serious than just longing for pregnancy/ another baby. Something that is impacting your life this much needs to be addressed.
I hope you talk to someone.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.