I don't know what's going on with DD lately

meg1974

We've been having a steady increase in discipline issues since DD turned 3. Lately, however, she has been unusually difficult. She refuses to do anything we ask her to do. I even had to leave a store today literally dragging her kicking and screaming the whole way out because she kept running across the building. I gave her three warnings before leaving. I've never had to do that before; she usually stops after the first warning.

We use positive discipline techniques, but they haven't been working lately. We have always explained everything to her that we ask her to do, and we spend tons of time with her. We try distractions, alternatives, choices, etc. Our reasoning doesn't mean anything to her. She just ignores us or argues with us. 

I appreciate any advice from others who have dealt with this. TIA! 

Angela814

It sounds like she's 3. Unfortunately, a typical 3 yo spends all day testing their parents. For the most part, I don't think reasoning is very effective at this age. I'd keep being consistent and make sure that the consequences of her misbehavior make sense.

brens317

My daughter is 2.5 so I don't have too much advice for you but it really sounds like you're doing all the right things and she's just being a normal 3 year old.  I have had several friends tell me that the 3's were way worse than the "terrible 2s". 

 I have also heard good things about the book 123 Magic.  GL and hang in there....I bet she just grow out of it. 

FutureMrsBB

brens317:

I have had several friends tell me that the 3's were way worse than the "terrible 2s". 

 This terrifies me.

heymommy

Three year olds are nuts! My advice is Tell don't ask, keep verbal directions short, clear and be firm. Don't spend a lot of time explaining things.

Once you tell her to do something or tell her to stop doing something make sure she does it no matter how ugly things get. This is the age you start picking the battles. If you are going to go into battle with a three year old you better win it. 

ETA-  She is normal, nothing is going on- she's just three. 

mandapie

FutureMrsBB:

brens317:

I have had several friends tell me that the 3's were way worse than the "terrible 2s". 

 This terrifies me.

Ditto. This sounds like my 2y/o, I'm shivering thinking of what the "3's" are going to be like...

groovygrl

Don't have an answer for you b/c we have been on a massive struggle w/ ours since about 2 months before turning 3.

I had been using 123 magic since about 2 1/2 but I wasnt super consistent w/ it &MH was not using it... so I rented the DVD from the library & we watched it together & started using it more consistently. I will not say it was 'magic' and made our household wonderful & happy all the time but having a tool that we both use has really helped. The kids don't always listen & frequently push us to threaten the '3'  (and end up in time out) but it is better now... I think just finding a method that you & your SO &/or other caretakers can use consistently is helpful, whatever it is.  Some days I feel like my life is one long negotiation & reward system (we have sticker charts for bedtime behavior & DS has an ipad time 'reward' for going to school without crying & freaking out, etc etc etc. )

That being said, I'm with fredalina's advice on sitters & daycare, LOLLLLL....  I was home w/ my kids a  lot this summer & that is when I was about to lose it...when I went back to work  in august, my patience was greatly improved b/c it wasn't a 24/7 issue... so I'd encourage preschool and/or sitters if you can do it a little bit (if you're not doing that already). Plus it forces  kids to listen to & respect other adults. Like everyone else my kids behave a million percent better for other ppl.