Baby Showers

Question about who to invite

I'm due at the beginning of March, and I live several house away from all my family. We live in North Carolina, all of my family (aunts, uncles, cousins) live in Baltimore, MD, and my parents, ILs, and all of MH's family live in MA. We are planning to drive up to MA for the holidays, making stops in MD since the trip is so long.

On our way back down to NC, after Christmas, my godmother is throwing us a shower in MD the weekend after Christmas. The hostess wanted addresses for any friends and any of MH's family I'd like to invite beyond our family. So here is my conundrum: should I invite my family and close friends in MA to the MD shower? I know they would like to feel included in a shower, but I don't know if a shower in MA is being planned. I know it's rude for guests to be invited to two showers. Should I assume that no shower is being planned in MA and invite them, or should I not invite them to the MD shower, and wait to see if there is a MA shower?

I really don't want to be rude, but I also don't want to exclude my best friends and MH's family, who I'm very close to. As a note, my family (esp. some people in MA) really believe that showers should be a surprise. So I don't know how to ask "is anyone throwing us an MA shower?" without being rude, seeming like I'm asking for one, or ruining a surprise.

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Re: Question about who to invite

  • Tough one! I hate surprise showers for this reason lol. Ok well if it were me, I'd go ahead and assume that there is no MA shower and invite folks to the MD one... just also keep in mind that you should only invite people to a long distance shower if you know you'd go to theirs. I'm sure that if there is a MA shower, people will just go to that one and forgive you for the ediquette misstep of inviting them to more than one shower especially since you didn't know about it. I don't know what the rules would be on this, but maybe if you mention the concern to your MIL she could do a little digging and find out if there's another shower... Then it wouldn't seem rude that you are asking maybe.

    ETA: sorry I meant ask your godmother not MIL... Baby brain slip up!
  • If your family thinks showers should be a surprise, then I would assume they have something planned when you come home.  And in turn, I would NOT invite them to the MD shower. 

    I wouldn't overthink it too much.

     

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  • imagemoonglow_84:
    Tough one! I hate surprise showers for this reason lol. Ok well if it were me, I'd go ahead and assume that there is no MA shower and invite folks to the MD one... just also keep in mind that you should only invite people to a long distance shower if you know you'd go to theirs. I'm sure that if there is a MA shower, people will just go to that one and forgive you for the ediquette misstep of inviting them to more than one shower especially since you didn't know about it. I don't know what the rules would be on this, but maybe if you mention the concern to your MIL she could do a little digging and find out if there's another shower... Then it wouldn't seem rude that you are asking maybe. ETA: sorry I meant ask your godmother not MIL... Baby brain slip up!

    I agree with this- just invite MA people that you're very close to and would be likely to make the trip...people that are that close to you probably won't be offended if they get 2 invites, and will understand that you didn't know about a surprise shower.

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