Natural Birth

feeling like i won't be able to do a natural birth :(

hi ladies, i just really need some words of encouragement right now. throughout my pregnancy i always thought that "labor pain is good pain, i can do this, i am strong, i laugh in the face of contractions!" but earlier today i had the worst BH ever! it wasn't overly painful, but it was enough to stop me in my tracks. it's like i had forgotten all my breathing techniques and everything. i feel so down now because i'm thinking "wow, i can't even handle a dang BH contraction, how am i gonna deal with hours of labor!?" 

i am just feeling like such a failure, i really hope i can make this a natural birth... 

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Re: feeling like i won't be able to do a natural birth :(

  • I think part of those early contractions is that they do catch you off guard, and they can be a bit of a shock.

    When real labour started for me, I went through a couple of contractions before i thought about breathing through them or "coping" with them, I was too busy thinking WTF was that??

    You will absolutely do various things to get through them because so much of labour becomes your body just dealing with it, and as a human animal in discomfit getting into the most comfortable position and doing what you can to work through it.

    However, it might help to give your DH/birth partner a list of things they could do or say to you to remind you how to work through it. maybe a breathing technique you've done together, or a mantra or even just encouraging words he can say to you. 

    You absolutely can do this because women have done it for thousands of years. And it's not that it's not painful, it's that once you're on that path all you can do is work through each contraction one at a time. 

    FWIW I've had two fabulous natural births, and I can't wait to do it all over again. Good luck to you with your upcoming birth, I'm very excited for you and this exciting journey you're about to embark on. 

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  • In my childbirth class this week we did an exercise to compare pain reactions. We held a piece of ice in our hand and focused on the ice for one minute. it hurt so bad, I was so uncomfortable, and all I wanted was to put the ice down. Then we switched hands, and tried some breathing and distraction techniques for that minute. It wasn't that bad, and at the end of the minute, I was like, oh that was already a minute? Next time, if you forget your breathing and your partner isn't around to remind you, ick something else to focus on. Stare at something else, sing a song, do anything else but think "oh crap that hurts". It'll hurt less.

    My BH contractions aren't painful, so I don't know what a painful contraction really feels like because this is my first child. Everyone I know who has had a natural birth has given me similar advice/tips. 1) They don't describe the sensation of labor as "painful". It's a discomfort that is unique to childbirth, but the only part that is actual pain is the "ring of fire" when baby crowns, and that it only hurts for a second or two. They said you should not think of it as pain, just think of it as discomfort, and when you say it hurts, replace that word with "uncomfortable: or something else that has less connotation. We never call it "pain" 2) The worst part of labor is being afraid. If you're scared or tense, you tend to tense up and fight the contraction, which slows the process and makes things hurt that wouldn't hurt if you would just relax. 3) Labor in the tub (if you have one available to you), the contractions melt away. 

    You CAN do this. Before there were drugs, everyone did it. And those ladies had 5 and 10 kids each. If people do it again, it can't be THAT bad, right? I mean, if you touch a hot stove and burn yourself, you are more careful next time so that doesn't happen again. But how many women go right ahead and get pregnant again? You are bigger and stronger than your fear. (say it out loud. It's an awesome mantra, I think I'm going to use that one...) You can do it! You're a strong woman, and you can do it! 

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  • You can do it!  You know why?!  Because before all this modern medical procedure/epidural mumbo-jumbo started, all women did it naturally.  That is how the human species got to where it is now. 

    The reason the pain seems so bad is because of fear and there is nothing to fear, it a natural body process.

  • You already started doing it...that "painful BH" was a real contraction. Your body is gearing up. Plus, you made it through and now have an idea of what might be to come. Remember that you always get a break between contractions to relax and recenter yourself...now is a good time to just keep thinking/working on techniques that will work for you - like yoga breaths, moaning low (mooing too), swaying, hands and knees, rubbing your legs/lower back, etc. You'll find the one thing that keeps you centered during contractions and it will work for most of your labor. Good luck.
    Two boys already - ages 5 and 3...

    ...baby #3 is here...

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  • The thing is, that BH DID catch you off guard. The great thing about labor contractions is that, when they get started, you KNOW there's going to be another one. And another. And another. Also, they typically build up, so getting started, the first few will catch you off guard, but you'll have time in between to gather yourself and get into a rhythm. My BH were much worse than the early stages of labor. You'll do fine, don't get yourself down!
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