Blended Families

finally started cs process with bd ....so frustrated!

So about a month ago I finally started the child support process with my childrens dad, weve been seperated over 2 years and he hasnt paid or helped out with anything. I wasnt even worried about the money, but in order to keep my kids insurance they said that they would need to do that. So I figured it shouldn't be a problem anyway, they are his children also and he should help with stuff right? Apparently he disagrees, because monday night(the day of my first ultrasound so I was a having a great day) I get served papers saying he is taking me to court to try and get custody!! I am absolutely livid! He has only watched them once by himself overnight and when I came to pick them up that day, him and his gf were passed out on the couch and my children(at the time 1 and 3 years) were unattended and my 1yr old was eating a stick of butter, with no clothes on and crying her eyes out. I asked my son why his sister was eating butter, and he said she was hungry so he got her some butter! After this, bd moved back in with his mother, and now I will let them go over there as long as she is there. But they are still not over there more than 2 days at a time, and my daughter comes back with diaper rash every other time. Im just so frustrated, Ive got to get a lawyer(his family has money plus he has no bills and a good job so theyve got an awesome lawyer) so today I sold one of my horses, that I had originally bought for my kids to learn on, and my horse trailer, and have my other horse up for sale also. This is just not my week!

Sorry so long just absolutely furious and super stressed...

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Re: finally started cs process with bd ....so frustrated!

  • I'm sorry that is a jerk move. Good luck to you with the court process. Know that he will have a really uphill battle fighting you for custody
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  • Don't worry! I didn't have to go through a custody battle, but I would think your ex has set a prescedence (sp?) by not being a very involved parent for the last 2 years. So you have that on your side. Plus it doesn't sound like he is providing a very stable living situation when he does have the kids.
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  • Unless you are horrendously unfit he won;t gain full custody...the best he'll get is 50/50 split but he'll have to be a parent...not someone who sleeps on the couch while the kids run around naked eating butter. He probably will get EOW and one day during the week if anything...
    IAmPregnant Ticker}
  • In my experience, anytime I've seen someone file for CS/custody, the other party's attorney will typically automatically file for full custody. That is what happened with my case and that is what happened in DH's. Just keep documentation.
    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like BD is just trying to get out of paying CS. Although it's hard to sell your things, I can honestly say that giving things up to pay for the best is totally worth it.
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  • Thanks everyone. I'm starting to feel more confident about it, I think. My grandpa says their lawyer is really good but mine assures me we should have no problem. just really upset me the thought of someone else having my babies you know? He doesn't even know what dentist they go to lol
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