PPD ladies who have second kids

Divallyn

I had my first child in March and man what a emotional roller coaster it has been.

I have never experienced depression prior and never knew such devastating lows were possible. So my question is, I can't imagine having gone through what I did, wanting to risk it again by having another child so why do PPD sufferers have second children? Was their PPD mild, did they forget, gluttons for punishment, don't think it will happen a second time around?

My doctor advised me that with a second birth I am likely to get PPD again, even worse and possible it won't go away given family history etc. So we're now looking into adoption for our second child. People just don't seem to understand that my one and only reason for not having another biological child is PPD. PPD seems so common you think more people would understand. Maybe Im just a wuss? 

wheelsonthebus

It's a big reason I've decided we are done at two. For my first, I was on Prozac, so I was fine. I was unmedicated for my second and it was AWFUL. I am just finally feeling better after started back on Prozac several weeks ago. If I ever DO have more children, I will take medication. I don't ever want to go through what I just went through again.

EveryNameIWantIsTaken

I do know that the second, third, etc. times they monitor you more closely and can be more proactive about things, so they don't begin to spiral out of control.  I didn't have it with my first, did with my second, but wouldn't let it stop me from having a third if we ever decide.  Perhaps it could be due to varying degrees, not really sure.  Whose to say one person's case is more mild than the next?  Some of it could all be internal perception and what one person is willing to put up with before reaching for help could be more than what another could handle before needing help, kwim?

Ardmhs83

MelRC117:

I have to agree with a PP that it might be perception.  I've had depression prior to being PG so I pretty much knew I'd probably have PPD.  I did therapy but wasn't offically diagnosed at depressed, but it really did help.  Then a year later or so it came back again, but with slightly more symptoms.  This time I went on meds and its what I needed.  Once I found out I was PG I stopped and thought about going back on for awhile, especially because I was planning our wedding and then we bought a house...it was just a lot going on at once.  It did get better later on in pregenancy but then after having LO at my 6 weeks PP I could tell the symptoms were there again so I went on meds.  Its just controlling it and recognizing it in yourself.  The first time, before I got therapy I was a mess...didn't know what I was experiencing.  Then the second time, I didn't recognize it at first, but I got help alot sooner the second time and it flipped much faster (the meds probably helped).  PPD would never keep me from having another child, just like depression wouldn't keep me from doing other things I wanted to do.  I'm not going to let it take over me like that and let it control my life.

My DS is 2 and my PPD/PPA was terrible!!!  Still on 3 different meds and have significantly weaned down on one of them.  Like this poster said...I will be watched more closely second time around and if I have to...I will have to stay on some of my meds.  I AM NOT LETTING PPD BEAT ME AND STOP MY DESIRE TO CARRY AND HAVE A SECOND CHILD!  You have to do what is best for you though.  My DH and I felt the same way as you for a while, but as things start to get better you realize, you can beat this!  :-)  Hope everything works out for you. 

PastaFanatic2012

I feel the same way you do right now. I have a 6 week old and I am beyond in love with her but I am definitely not 100% happy and I escape into sleeping lots of hours with her and watching TV. I don't know how I would care for an older child along with a newborn.

And THAT, in and of itself, depresses me. I have a very easy baby and I LOVE this stage. I can't believe I may never experience it again. 

However, I had also planned on ONLY fostering and possibly adopting through the foster care system (my daughter was 100% unplanned) so I may do that for a second and beyond child(ren). But it's still sad. I also have fibromyalgia which made the pregnancy difficult physically and I don't know how I would do that either while caring for DD.

I support those posters who say they are not going to let PPD/PPA stop them from having a second child BUT you also have to be realistic. It does affect you and could stop you from caring for your older children and newborn. For me, I'm definitely learning towards fostering and adopting for any future children. Both because of the depression but also because there are so many needy children.

good luck with whatever you decide to do in the future!