Tummy Touching
I've had people trying to touch my stomach since I was 8 weeks along. Anyone else had this problem? Does anyone else mind?
I told the last, very persistant person, that if they want to feel the baby they were going to have to stick their hand in my vajayjay because baby was still tiny. (rude, I know, but this guy was drunk and wouldn't take no for answer...He did after that).
Will you mind if people even strangers are touching you? If so, how will you handle it?
DH has promised to be the belly bouncer because I don't want ANYONE touching me unless I've given them permission and even then it will only be very close friends and some family. But DH can't be everywhere with me so I'll have to be the bad guy at some point. I have a HUGE personal space bubble.
Re: Tummy Touching
I've always had a pretty big personal space bubble so belly touching is a major no no unless you changed my diapers as a kid or there's an explicit invitation. I have no problems stepping backward when I see a hand move towards the belly even if it might seem a little rude. It took me years to get comfortable with my inlaws spontaneously hugging me and belly touching is much more invasive to me.
I don't really feel the need to say anything though, just moving out of touch range deliberately with an apologetic smile seems to work fine.
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For whatever reason this has never been an issue for me. Maybe I just put off the "don't touch me" vibe, but I've never once had a stranger request or just go in for the belly rub.
Periodically a friend will, but usually they ask and it's generally very sweet.
Perfect.
I REALLY really feel like I am ALWAYS the odd-one-out on a lot of posts lately, LoL, I honestly am ok with people rubbing the belly. I would love to rub other preg bellies, but I know most people find it incredibly rude. And hey, if you want to rub my bloated intestines and THINK it's baby? Fine by me, rub away! There's still a baby in there somewhere, so what the heck.
Also, where I live now, it seems like people are either super over friendly, or super reserved, and the most I'll probably get is old ladies wanting to touch, and I don't mind that.
My FI on the other hand, is one of those super-reserved people, and would probably freak out if he saw a stranger reach out to touch my belly, or even someone who we know but isn't immediate family.
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I love this!
Oh yes, the random touching from complete strangers. Now there'S something I am looking forward. Yuck.
I understand that a baby bump is like a magnet for some people but come on!
I think I am going to do the same thing I did with my last pregnancy. If someone reaches for my bump without asking first, I will reach for theirs.
Mirrored, you are awesome! I love these rules. I might have to print them out and make little flyers or something.
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Oh - you're not strange. We just have more space issues than you. I know of several pregnant women who LOVE having their bellies touched. I'm just not one of them.
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I've never been pregnant enough to have a belly. So, honestly, I am not sure how I will handle this. I'm fairly reserved and quiet to I don't think I will like having strangers or certain people I know touching me. I just don't know how I will be able to avoid it. I like the idea of just doing it back to them, but not sure I am bring myself to doing that to people I know.
That would be because you're polite!
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Last time I only had a couple people touch my stomach without permission, one was my MIL who bent down and started kissing my stomach at 12 weeks and all I could think was "That's not a baby, that's my farts!"
Then when I was around 36 weeks my husbands boss came up and hugged my stomach instead of hugging my shoulders. There aren't many men that I would be okay with doing that, but somehow when he hugged me it was such a profound expression of his joy for us that it didn't bother me in the slightest. He's a very family oriented man and lives three weeks in the US and three in London so he's away from his family a lot and hangs out at our house and with my husband when he's here.
At the time I was working in an industry where many of my co-workers were guys between 20-30 who are single and have no kids. A couple of them very politely asked if they could feel my stomach when I got farther along and usually they just did ET to my stomach or a very hesitant *poke, poke* and then declared "It's so hard!"
So yeah. I've never really had issues with it.
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I have huge personal space issues.
My mom tried to touch my belly last night (first time I've seen her since we told her I was pregnant) and I got mad (not blow out mad, but just asked her not to) and she's my mom! I'm going to flip when others do it. I don't mind if the baby is kicking and you want to feel it (and you've asked), but just randomly touching me - it's not like the baby knows grandma or whoever is touching my stomach.
My main issue right now is that right now you're just feeling my fat, bloated stomach. Maybe when it's bigger and more obvious I'll feel better.
I am starting to think i'm weird... I LOVE PEOPLE TOUCHING MY PREGNANT BELLY!!!
Obviously right now it really isn't a big issue, but if someone wants to rub my roll, they can have fun.
When I was pregnant with my first daughter I worked in cosmetics in a department store. I had quite a few loyal customers (because that sounds nicer than 'old ladies') that I talked to every time they came in. I talked about my pregnancy with everyone, and announced when she was moving. My co-workers were my favorite. They would run across the aisles to feel a kick.
If someone wanted to touch my big baby bump I was all for it. Most people would just throw out a quick "Do you mind" when their hand was already on its way, but I never said no.
Then one of my mothers friends that I've known since i was in 3rd grade rubbed my belly and flat out told me "I don't care if you don't like it, pregnant bellies are fair game!"
i've never really had a problem with it either unless it was someone i didn't care for then i would dodge the hand... but i typically dont mind the belly rubs
Definitely not for strangers! I think that is a huge invasion of my personal space bubble, and I am not a fan.
Last time, no one was allowed to touch my belly unless I gave permission first, and that was after baby was bigger and starting to kick, etc. thus giving someone a reason to touch my belly and actually feel something in there. Definitely not this early though!
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I don't think it's at all weird to want to touch a pregnant belly or to want your belly touched. Personally, I would not really feel comfortable with people I don't know touching me, but a couple of my friends have rubbed the tiny baby bump, as well as a few of my students.
The biggest issue is ASKING. Like, what is wrong with people that they would just touch someone without getting consent first. Is it so hard to say, "hey, could I touch your belly?" before reaching in? That way, no hard feelings. If she minds, you find out before anyone is made uncomfortable, and if not, then it's a more rewarding experience all around.
Contrary to popular belief, being pregnant does not make your body public property.
Strangers: No way. My personal space bubble is waaaaay too big for that. i remember when i used to have very long hair and complete strangers would come up to me at start touching it. Um...do i know you?
As for family/friends: meh. i'm not a touchy person. And i know it used to bother me immensely when a coworker used to come up to me, rub my belly and ask if there's a baby in there yet (as an infertile i really, really loved that. So awesome). My family's not real touchy either and i can't see any of them rushing up to me to rub my belly.
i'm also probably the only person around these boards that finds pregnant women who rub their own bellies all the time fairly irritating.
A friend of mine had a shirt that said "If you touch my belly, I will punch you in the face." I thought it was AWESOME.
I am completely cool with people touching my belly, unless it's weird strangers. Fellow moms/grandmas (it always seems to be elderly women with me...) are fine, but if you're a dude and I don't know you, get the eff away from me.
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11.07.09