only for moms who are pro circumcision
rmambrose007
member
First of all, this is not a post saying that parent's are horrible for letting their son's get circumcised, I am actually pro-circumcision. Second of all, if you are anti-circumcision, please do not be rude and yell at me or others who are posting what they believe is in the best interest for their son's.
With that in mind, I know that this topic is something that should be discussed between the mother and father of their soon-to-come son. We do not know what we are having yet, but in the event that we do have a boy, I wanted to know what are some good reasons why mother's cicumcised or will circumsise their son's. My husband (who is not circumcised) does not want to do that to our son because there are extreme cases out there that go very wrong. Me, on the other hand, wants our kid to get circumcised because it is more hygienic to get it done than to not. I guess what I am asking, are there any moms out there who can help me persuade my DH to get our son circumcised? Again, we don't know what we are having yet, I just want to have this information in the event that we end up do having a boy. Thank you!
Re: only for moms who are pro circumcision
DH is circ'd (religious thing), but his "gentile" best friend was not circumcised UNTIL he made the decision to get "cut" at 25 due to years of painful sexual encounters and the upkeep involved. His recovery was very long and painful, involving a much larger area of skin than it would have as an infant.
His story, combined with DH's convictions (no, it's not just so his son "looks like him") have made it set in stone for us. Personally, I'm not a fan of uncircumcised penises (even ones that are "clean"-- that's a sweaty area!), so I feel I would be doing my son a favor in his future sex life, as many women (not all) feel the same way.
I hear the argument that you can "just teach your son to keep it clean" to avoid the hygiene concerns, but I have to wonder at what age the child should assume this responsibility. What 9-year-old boy remembers to wash his hands or brush his teeth-- much less take the time to clean his willy?
Actually, the APA just recently came out recommending circumcision.
Our decision was a little easier. There is a condition in my DH family where the foreskin cannot be retracted, which becomes painful, and eventually they need to be circ'd anyway. My DH was done at ~20, his grandfather later in life (iirc around 60). They both remember the procedure being painful and the recovery was not great either - including stitches popping out and needing to be re-stitched during recovery.
Now, this experience is not the norm, but he is adamant that he wants to spare a future son the potential for this to happen. We are going to look for a surgeon who does this routinely and has a great track record.
What organization are you referring to by APA?
As of 8/27/2012, American Academy of Pediatrics still does not "recommend" circumcision. To quote what they do recommend:
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) believes that circumcision has potential medical benefits and advantages, as well as risks. We recommend that the decision to circumcise is one best made by parents in consultation with their pediatrician, taking into account what is in the best interests of the child, including medical, religious, cultural, and ethnic traditions.
Your pediatrician (or your obstetrician if he or she would be performing the circumcision) should discuss the benefits and risks of circumcision with you and the forms of analgesia that are available.
Last Updated 8/27/2012
No, they did not.
After a comprehensive review of the scientific evidence, the American Academy of Pediatrics found the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks, but the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal newborn circumcision. The AAP policy statement published Monday, August 27, says the final decision should still be left to parents to make in the context of their religious, ethical and cultural beliefs.
https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/Newborn-Male-Circumcision.aspx?nfstatus=401&nftoken=00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000000&nfstatusdescription=ERROR%3a+No+local+token
Not sure if that link works but it's the first thing that comes up when you google "APA circumcision".
Yeah, I meant the AAP. And you beat me to it.
I wasn't particularly one way or the other about it, so I left it up to my DH since he has a penis and I don't. We chose to keep them the same, so DS is circumcised. That way we never have to field any "why is mine different than yours" questions, and also DH and I are both more familiar with how to care for a circumcised penis, so it was just what worked best for us.
My sister and her DH did the same but the opposite of us. She is a little more anti-circumcision than I am, but they did keep their DS the same as her DH.
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So you came on here wanting a bunch of women to give you information so you can bully your husband into seeing it your way. But you aren't willing to sit down and listen to him, even though he's the one with the penis. Sounds like you really want to make an informed decision.
I recommend doing your own research and putting more value in your H's opinion than a bunch of internet strangers. Especially ones that are going to be giving you information to support their own point of views.
I personally feel that unless it's done for religious/ethnic reasons it's a totally unnecessary surgery that people put their children through for pure vanity. Every surgery has risks, even routine out patient ones. Your child will grow up to be as hygienic as you teach them to be. If you are so worried about hygiene, do the research and teach him how to properly care for himself. Problem solved!
Oh! BTW, an informed decision would be asking for information about both sides of the issue. Not just the side you want.
https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/pregnancy-childbirth/whether-or-not-circumcise
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This, except MH is circumcised so both or our sons are as well. I wouldn't make a decision based on opinions on a message board, but maybe that's just me.
Both of these!
I let the husband make the decision, since I have no idea what it's like to have a penis. Our son is circumcised.
Also, this is a very, very personal decision, and nothing that anyone says on a message board should have any bearing on that decision. Opinions swaying on cloth diapers or which bottles to use? Sure. But circumcision? Not so much.
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This. MH and DS are both circumcised, but it was a decision we made together, and I suggest you discuss it with your H and your doctor if you have questions.
THIS.
I really don't think that you understood my reasoning for posting this. Obviously, at first I said that it is not for anyone who is going to be rude to me or to anyone on this discussion forum. Secondly, I did state that my husband and I have been talking about doing and not doing it. He gave his reasons why he doesn't want to and I gave my reasons why. If he can get information from others then why should I not be able to get it from other mothers as well??
If you are stating that I am bullying my husband and manipulating him into doing something that he doesn't want to do, then you are VERY wrong! Normally, I don't let people like you get to me or even waste my time into explaining everything but obviously you hit a nerve, and got me upset. I would NEVER manipulate or "bully" my husband into doing anything that he is uncomfortable with. Obviously, there were others here who posted what they believe (regardless if it was something they did or didn't do) Last time I checked, there was nothing wrong with getting information from experienced mother's since this will be my first.
Moreover, I did do my own research before even thinking about posting this. If anything, you are the bully on this forum and I don't appreciate your harsh words that were being said.
Oh, and btw, obviously there were mother's on here putting an informed decision on why they did not get their son's penis circumcised and I accepted that information as well....maybe you overlooked those women's posts and just wanted to tell me how much of a bad wife that you think that I am.
For my FI and I, we have made the decision that we will circumcise. My FI isn't circumcised and he didn't like the stigma around it while he was growing up. He's completely comfortable with himself now that he's 30 and realized that most women actually don't care, but it was at school, in the shower room during PE, etc that he knew he was different and it wore on him.
As for MY opinion on the matter, I just think it's cleaner. Not only when they're children, but I've been with cut and uncut men and if they don't take care of it in a way that cut men don't even have to worry about, it's just...gross. (Not the uncut part, the uncleanliness).
I've never met a man who was circumcised and wish he wasn't, but I've met a handful who weren't and wish they were. So overall, that's our decision.
My 2 cents: If we have a boy, we will have him circumcised. I have read all of the literature and actually witnessed the procedure on a newborn in nursing school.
I found out as a teenager that my entire family is aggressively anti-circumcision. When I asked my mom why she looked at me like I was crazy and said "Because it's mean!" I know that if I have a boy, my family will actually be upset with me for going through with the circumcision but my mind is made up. Unfortunately, as a nurse, I have seen far more complications with uncircumcised members than I thought I would. Cracks, bleeding, raging and painful infections. You can teach your son all the good hygeine in the world, but things can still go by the wayside (especially when he's in a situation where he's unable to care for himself). Circumcised penis' are much more low maintanence.
Listen up, moron. In your OP you said you wanted to know how to persuade him to go along with YOUR decision; so essentially, yes, you are manipulating him into doing what YOU want, regardless of how he feels.
YES! I was going to say this exact thing. I also work in healthcare and the only pediatric penile issues I've encountered have been in uncircumcised males. They ARE harder to keep clean while the child is young and then from the ages of 4-10 they don't have the mindset to understand the importance of cleaning themselves regularly. This coupled with a lower rate of STDs, HIV, and cancers when they get older if they are circumcised and my decision was an easy one for me to make.
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I stand by everything I said in my post. And I never called you a bad wife. But you came here asking for ways to make your husband see it your way. That is being manipulative and being a bully.
I just wanted to add that I am a mother. I have a 2 year old SON (look I can do bold words too). So I have done the research, I have had the discussions with my husband, and I chose to respect his opinion on the matter above anyone else's because at the end of the day, I don't have a penis and he does. He grew up knowing what it took to be healthy and hygienic, I didn't. So just in case your theory is that my opinion doesn't count because I'm not a mom, think again.
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