My friend and her husband started TTC about 5 months before we did. We've stuck together during the whole process for about a year, crying and laughing together. I found out I was pregnant a week ago and she got bad news about her husband's fellas a few days ago. I don't know how to tell her that I am pregnant. I know I shouldn't, but I feel guilty. I know she'll be happy for me, but I really don't want to upset her. She stopped over after her appt the other day, really upset. After venting she asked me how things were going with us and I just said that they were the same. I felt terrible for lying to her, but I just couldn't tell her that we got our BFP when she was so upset.
Has anyone been in this situation? How should I handle it?
Re: TTC buddy and a dilemma
Oh man. You're gonna have to tell her eventually. If it was me, I'd have probably cried and blurted it out right then!
I hope she'd understand - you were both working toward the same goal (getting pregnant) and I mean, in a situation like that, one of you was going to get there first. Think of how you would want her to tell you if it had been her to get pregnant first, and then go from there. Good luck!
BFP #1 4/10/12 D&C 6/5/12@ 12.5wks EDD 12/17/12
BFP #2 9/10/12 CP 9/19/12@ 5.5wks EDD 5/21/13
BFP# 3 12/3/12...Lukas James born 8/15/13
BFP# 4 8/4/14 EDD 4/13/15
I vote email. It gives her time to process the information and cry if she needs to without trying to keep a brave face in front of you. Its not that she won't be happy for you. Its that she is sad for her and her situation. You are a good friend to be concerned. Congratulations and best of luck to you.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
I was on the other hand of that. We TTC for over 5 years before we got our son. During that time I had many friends who ended up getting pregnant and having healthy babies. I always felt so jealous when it happened but of course I was happy for them and tried to be supportive.
I would say make sure you tell her (and privately). She will find out and it is always better if it comes from you. Try to consider the timing. I am glad that you didn't tell her when she came over the other day. For me, that would have made things a lot harder. I would wait a couple weeks until she can digest her news and then just try to stay positive with her. Let her know that it will happen for her. If she is a good friend she will be happy for you. I also think that is good advice to try and figure out how much she wants to be involved. She may want to live vicariously through you or try to avoid the conversation.