1st Trimester

need advice on SIL

I have a very difficult SIL.. she is the only girl in the family. She is a very controlling selfish person, very hard to get along with.

I have a DD about to turn 2 and I am expecting my second baby in March!!! My SIL is the only person who has not congratulated me via phone, txt, email or in person??!! I am actually quite hurt by this. I just recently found out she is pregnant (although it is still a surprise, my husband told me whom she told in confidence)... How am I supposed to react when she tells everyone her news? 

Re: need advice on SIL

  • Be gracious and tell her congrats. Be the bigger person. Leave it at that, nothing more/nothing less.

     If she's selfish like you say, than this can't be that much of a surprise right? 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageAshleyEric609:

    Be gracious and tell her congrats. Be the bigger person. Leave it at that, nothing more/nothing less.

     If she's selfish like you say, than this can't be that much of a surprise right? 

    This. 

  • Loading the player...
  • Thank you for your advice, Ashley!

    I guess I will do the right thing...I am just so sick of doing the right thing all the time. AND you're right... this doesn't come as a big surprise, her not congratulating me...but I am just really hurt by her this time :( 

  • Tell her congrats and move on.  Her reaction, or lack thereof, to your pregnancy should have nothing to do with your own excitement.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageAshleyEric609:

    Be gracious and tell her congrats. Be the bigger person. Leave it at that, nothing more/nothing less.

     If she's selfish like you say, than this can't be that much of a surprise right? 

    Exactly.
  • Um, be polite and congratulate her? Sure she sounds like a tool, doesn't mean you have to be one, too.


    image 

    image

  • I have issues with my SIL so I am a bad person to give advice on this i suppose.. because of this I would just keep my mouth shut. I didn't get a congratulations when pg or a phone call when I miscarried all I got was well it was so early it was just a period really for you. 

    I am a little bitter I guess over the years. Unless she approached me herself I wouldn't be going out of my way to congratulate her. If someone were to call or be stood in front of me then I would congratulate

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageBeaglechon2012:
    Um, be polite and congratulate her? Sure she sounds like a tool, doesn't mean you have to be one, too.

    Exactly....what kind of answers did you really expect?  Validation that it was ok to roll your eyes and walk out of the room?


    imageimage
    2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
    TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
    Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14

    I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929

  • I would act obnoxiously excited and say, "OMG... congrats!!! How cool is it that we get to be pregnant together!?" I mean you get the best of both worlds.. taking the "high road" AND rubbin' it in her face a little. ;)
    *Julie* Wife to Micheal and mama of 5, soon to be 6!* Pregnancy Ticker
  • With grace. Congratulate her and treat her like you would have wanted to be treated. Chances are, someone will see the way your reacted and mention it to her. Realize too that she might be going through things that you aren't aware of with her pregnancy. If not, you look like an angel and she doesn't. Best way to get people on your side is by letting your actions do it for you. 
  • Be a big girl:  congratulate her and move on.
    image BabyFetus Ticker
  • imageL&R70707:

    imageBeaglechon2012:
    Um, be polite and congratulate her? Sure she sounds like a tool, doesn't mean you have to be one, too.

    Exactly....what kind of answers did you really expect?  Validation that it was ok to roll your eyes and walk out of the room?

    This doesn't seem like constructive advice for a "moderator" to give.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagemommajewels87:
    I would act obnoxiously excited and say, "OMG... congrats!!! How cool is it that we get to be pregnant together!?" I mean you get the best of both worlds.. taking the "high road" AND rubbin' it in her face a little. ;

    Like!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageelizabethnseanny:
    imageL&R70707:

    imageBeaglechon2012:
    Um, be polite and congratulate her? Sure she sounds like a tool, doesn't mean you have to be one, too.

    Exactly....what kind of answers did you really expect?  Validation that it was ok to roll your eyes and walk out of the room?

    This doesn't seem like constructive advice for a "moderator" to give.

    It wasn't advice.  It was an honest question.


    imageimage
    2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
    TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
    Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14

    I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929

  • imageAshleyEric609:

    Be gracious and tell her congrats. Be the bigger person. Leave it at that, nothing more/nothing less.

     If she's selfish like you say, than this can't be that much of a surprise right? 

    This, Exactly. My SIL had the next boy after my son passed away who was the first grandson and actually said "Now I have the first and ONLY boy" shes a peach. Be the adult in the situation and dont let her be a joy stealer.

    photo b6d12d4a-3c41-4686-a0af-8cf854f979e4_zpsffdadc4c.jpg Pregnancy Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagePinkGlitter2012:
    Be a big girl:  congratulate her and move on.

    Yep, this.  

      
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickersAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • You say "congratulations".
  • imagemommajewels87:
    I would act obnoxiously excited and say, "OMG... congrats!!! How cool is it that we get to be pregnant together!?" I mean you get the best of both worlds.. taking the "high road" AND rubbin' it in her face a little. ;)

     

    Yes. I LOVE this. I have a very difficult step MIL, she made the last 2 years hell for me. Now, when I see her, I give a gushy hello (hugs, maybe a small squeal if I'm feeling it) and show her different baby things that I like (nursery ideas, etc.). I can't tell you the joy I get from seeing her family (her mother and sisters mostly, who love me) get upset w/ her when they see her treat me like crap. She rolls her eyes and makes faces at me when she thinks I'm not looking, and basically ignores me unless she's yelling at me. She's such a lovely person.

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    imageimage
  • That is terrible... and I am sorry.

    Sounds like we have the same SIL! 

  • Thank you, Elizabeth. Was thinking the same thing.
  • imageAshleyEric609:

    Be gracious and tell her congrats. Be the bigger person. Leave it at that, nothing more/nothing less.

     If she's selfish like you say, than this can't be that much of a surprise right? 

    Yep. 


    BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
    BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
    BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
    BFP 4/23/12 at 10dpo Stick my little one! Beta #1: 83.3 @ 13dpo Beta #2: 197.7 @ 15dpo
    Our little man is getting bigger every day!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    My BFP Chart
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageLadyDelilah:
    imageAshleyEric609:

    Be gracious and tell her congrats. Be the bigger person. Leave it at that, nothing more/nothing less.

     If she's selfish like you say, than this can't be that much of a surprise right? 

    This, Exactly. My SIL had the next boy after my son passed away who was the first grandson and actually said "Now I have the first and ONLY boy" shes a peach. Be the adult in the situation and dont let her be a joy stealer.

    ZOMG! Where does this douchecanoe live? I want to punt her into next year! 

    Photobucket Pregnancy Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker VOTE on my Name List
  • Lurking from 3rd tri...just say congrats. She is probably pissy you broke your news first or something ( unbeknownst to you) and is being a baby. If you try to treat her as she treated you she will make a big drama over it and most likely they will take her side and you will look bad :/ don't let it ruin your excitement for your baby :)
  • imageelizabethnseanny:
    imageL&R70707:

    imageBeaglechon2012:
    Um, be polite and congratulate her? Sure she sounds like a tool, doesn't mean you have to be one, too.

    Exactly....what kind of answers did you really expect?  Validation that it was ok to roll your eyes and walk out of the room?

    This doesn't seem like constructive advice for a "moderator" to give.
    I completely disagree. 
  • imageelizabethnseanny:
    imageL&R70707:

    imageBeaglechon2012:
    Um, be polite and congratulate her? Sure she sounds like a tool, doesn't mean you have to be one, too.

    Exactly....what kind of answers did you really expect?  Validation that it was ok to roll your eyes and walk out of the room?

    This doesn't seem like constructive advice for a "moderator" to give.

    I'm pretty sure it's not in their job description to blow smoke up every poster's a$$.   

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers BabyFruit Ticker
  • imageelizabethnseanny:
    imageL&R70707:

    imageBeaglechon2012:
    Um, be polite and congratulate her? Sure she sounds like a tool, doesn't mean you have to be one, too.

    Exactly....what kind of answers did you really expect?  Validation that it was ok to roll your eyes and walk out of the room?

    This doesn't seem like constructive advice for a "moderator" to give.

    Mods can post as themselves. She shouldn't have to sugar coat things because she can report things to the bump gods.

    image
  • Here's a question. Did you call her directly and tell her you were pregnant? If not, why should she call you and say congrats? Maybe I'm a jerk too, but I don't really feel the need to tell someone congrats, family included, unless they call me directly and I have to say something. I feel like it is implied. You're being too sensitive IMO. 

    If she hasn't told you about her pregnancy yet, maybe she has a reason she doesn't want to talk about it, yours or hers.  Whoever told your h about her pregnancy is a d*ckhead. 

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imagemorethancottoncandy:
    imageelizabethnseanny:
    imageL&R70707:

    imageBeaglechon2012:
    Um, be polite and congratulate her? Sure she sounds like a tool, doesn't mean you have to be one, too.

    Exactly....what kind of answers did you really expect?  Validation that it was ok to roll your eyes and walk out of the room?

    This doesn't seem like constructive advice for a "moderator" to give.

    I'm pretty sure it's not in their job description to blow smoke up every poster's a$$.   

    Pretty sure being a moderator on a bump board is not a job. There would be a lot of high paid a$$holes if you got paid for being able to use sarcasm. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageHesterlicious:
    imageelizabethnseanny:
    imageL&R70707:

    imageBeaglechon2012:
    Um, be polite and congratulate her? Sure she sounds like a tool, doesn't mean you have to be one, too.

    Exactly....what kind of answers did you really expect?  Validation that it was ok to roll your eyes and walk out of the room?

    This doesn't seem like constructive advice for a "moderator" to give.

    Mods can post as themselves. She shouldn't have to sugar coat things because she can report things to the bump gods.

    "Sugar coat" means to add something nice to something direct to make it less direct. She just added a made up scenario to show how nasty someone could be. The poster didn't suggest she would respond in an immature or rude way, the only suggestion of that behavior came from the moderator.  

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"