Freaking out! (pg ment'd & sensitive for moms w cord accidents)

Petunia844

Ladies, I'm flipping out here.  I just had our last growth scan, today is 34 weeks 3 days.  Baby looked great, measuring well and moving well.  Then the MFM comes in, this is not our regular one... he says the regular one is at the hospital, great.  He then drops the bomb that baby's cord is around his neck... he throws out some stupid statistic about how common it is, talks at us for like 2 minutes giving us NO chance to talk or ask questions and leaves.... I left the office fighting tears.  I'm flipping out.  I called my OB's office (he leaves the country tomorrow) and spoke to his wife.. I'm waiting to hear back from him.

My obvious reaction is, is it not safer to just deliver now?? We know he's ok, we know he's safe.  I'd hate to cause unnecessary NICU time, but how can I go 3 more weeks knowing his cord is around his neck?  I don't care about the MFM's statistics... I don't care if it's "common."  I know women who lost their babies this way, I know some of you did.  I also lost my son to "unexplained stillbirth" and had preeclampsia at the same time... the odds of that are astronomical.  So odds mean nothing to me.  I don't know how I'll handle it if they just tell me to wait it out.  I feel like I'm going to lose it here...  I posted on PGAL too, but I feel like nobody would understand the extent of my terror if they haven't had a late loss.  I don't know what to do. 

karebear57

OMG I am so sorry he had to scare you like this but to also not let you ask any questions!? And spouting off stupid stats to top it off! How long has this fill-in been working in a mfm office? Geez...I would totally try to get a hold of your regular mfm. How could someone put that fear into you then just walk away? I am so sorry. I hope your ob will have answers for you, maybe just ask to be seen just to be safe and reassured. I hope everythings ok in there with your little boy!

butterfly2119

I'm new here I hope you don't mind me commenting. I think if you wait it'll possibly go worse (just my opinion) like maybe put the baby in distress and possibly wrap around tighter? You already had 1 loss and came this far. I think you'll regret it if something goes wrong. You should see if your doctor can either monitor you more or have the baby now. I wish you the best.

jbranden12

Oh Petunia, I am so sorry you have this added stress. I agree that you need to talk to your OB and get his take on it. It is still so hard for me when I think that if we just knew something was about to happen, if Patricia were born at 31 weeks alive, she very likely would be with us today. I imagine you feel the same about Peyton so I see where you are coming from.

I don't think anyone would blame you for ANY decision you made. You are balancing risks either way. Just like weddedwife two weeks ago, all you can do is seek advice from as many people/sources as you can, then go with your gut. Realize that while you have to make a choice, you CANNOT know the outcome of both scenarios, so it's pointless to beat yourself up about anything later.

Will be thinking of you, keep us updated. 

Kris721

I would be flipping the eff out. My son died of a cord accident.  I hope your OB can help you out and get you some extra monitoring or something.  

drvst8

I'm not sure this is going to make you feel better or not. But in our experience we didn't even know the cord was wrapped around Logan's neck until I delivered him. But it wasn't just the cord around his neck...it was that combined with a short cord. Its so scary I know. Its been really hard for me not to freak out this whole time. But I'm trying. At the very least are they doing NST's and AFI's? If they aren't I would ask for them. They can then monitor his movements with his heartbeat and catch if there is any problems. Its not 100% but it should give you a little peice of mind.

Petunia844

We are doing bi-weekly NSTs already... so assuming they want me to just wait it out that will be my saving grace.

a&aw12707

Oh, I am so so sorry. I hope you get in touch with your regular dr soon and s/he can give you some more answers and a plan. Hugs, and I'll be sending lots of T and P's your way.

Bayberry12

Oh Petunia...I was literally shaking reading you post.  I can not believe this MFM did not discuss options with you or let you voice your concerns.  Does he even know your history!?  

I hope you can speak with you OB soon.  Maybe twice a week monitoring will be an option.  But like jbranden said you cannot know the outcome of whatever decision you make.  You can only do what feels right.

I know statistics mean nothing to us now, but I hope you can get some reassurance from your OB or your regular MFM and a plan for how to proceed.

 

Petunia844

Update: Finally talked to my OB, he's not at all worried... but completely understands why I am.  He said he would not at all consider early induction for it because it's just not a big deal.  He apologized for the MFM being such a jerk and said he will call our regular MFM to make sure he knows what's going on.  He was super nice about it... I started crying on the phone and he assured me several times that it's just not something to be concerned about.   Ugh I don't know how I will get through these next weeks... I wish he wasn't leaving and I wish I hadn't even been told about the cord if it was such a non-issue.  I'm a mess.

 

Mrs Nice

Oh no! I am so sorry you have to deal with this. What a douch doctor! I can understand your terror. Don't tell me the odds, I know them. It happened once before it CAN happen again! This was my worst fear when I was pregnant with my rainbow. 

If it were me, I wouldn't take any chances. I would strap myself down on a hospital bed and refuse to leave. I would demand constant monitoring untill they could guarantee that his cord had unwound and he was safe or untill he was safe in my arms. Whatever is needed, just as long as he is safe. I wouldn't care how crazy I seemed. NOTHING else matters! Maybe I sound a little crazy even now, but the terror is unfortunately very real for us. And that much stress and anxiety going on, will not be good for your baby. Please stand up for yourself and your baby! Do not let this go! 

I hope you can get in touch with your MFM soon and if not then someone who will take your fear searously. I will be praying so hard for you and Raylan. Please keep us updated. 

HUGS! 

 

JonesBaby0624

I'm sorry you are having this added stress. I am glad you finally heard from your doctor and I hope his response was able to ease you worry a little.  I will pray for you and your baby.

astraight15

I am so sorry that you have to go through this added stress!! My heart dropped when I read your initial post and I am glad to hear that you were able to talk to your doctor.  ((Hugs))

krysiahamaty

Oh I am so sorry you have to deal with this!!! I am keeping you in my constant thoughts and hope that you can have continuous updates. Can you get weekly ultrasounds? That's what I had starting at 34 weeks.
Please keep us posted. Hugs!!!!

Petunia844

KrysiaHamaty:

Oh I am so sorry you have to deal with this!!! I am keeping you in my constant thoughts and hope that you can have continuous updates. Can you get weekly ultrasounds? That's what I had starting at 34 weeks. Please keep us posted. Hugs!!!!

Yes I was already going to have bi-weekly nsts with ultrasounds to check fluid...hopefully that will get me through the next 3 weeks with some amount of sanity.

krysiahamaty

Petunia844:

KrysiaHamaty:

Oh I am so sorry you have to deal with this!!! I am keeping you in my constant thoughts and hope that you can have continuous updates. Can you get weekly ultrasounds? That's what I had starting at 34 weeks.
Please keep us posted. Hugs!!!!

Yes I was already going to have bi-weekly nsts with ultrasounds to check fluid...hopefully that will get me through the next 3 weeks with some amount of sanity.

The weekly appointments did ease my mind a bit. Obviously it's different now in your case but at least you can look forward to that. Do you have a heart monitor at home?
I'm so sorry again you have to deal with this stress. I really hope the next 3 weeks go by super fast!!!

lmielocl1

I am so sorry for all that you are experiencing.  We are here for you and will help you get through the next few weeks!!   Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs!

 Leslie 

Heatherhah

Thinking of you and Raylan always!!!

magdalina.h

You do not need that added stress. While it is very common for the cord to be wrapped (Lucas' was, they opted not to tell me as to not add stress) it's still terrifying after a late loss. Even though you are 34w it's still not ideal to deliver now since he's not done cooking. Tell them you want weekly/bi-weekly NSTs to make sure the cord is still working. Do you kick counts and instead of, what 10 in 2 hours, make it 5 in 1 hour.

Petunia844

magdalina.h:

You do not need that added stress. While it is very common for the cord to be wrapped (Lucas' was, they opted not to tell me as to not add stress)

I don't understand why they did tell me.  DH says he thinks they should have...but I totally disagree... if there's nothing extra you want me to do (I was already obsessively doing kick counts and was already going to have bi-weekly nsts) then why tell me???

magdalina.h

Petunia844:

magdalina.h:

You do not need that added stress. While it is very common for the cord to be wrapped (Lucas' was, they opted not to tell me as to not add stress)

I don't understand why they did tell me.  DH says he thinks they should have...but I totally disagree... if there's nothing extra you want me to do (I was already obsessively doing kick counts and was already going to have bi-weekly nsts) then why tell me???

Because there are very few people in the medical field with good bedside manners. They just think of us (loss mommas) as part of the general public and suck. He wasn't thinking....

dandywarhol

Sorry you are going through this! You don't need the stress.  {{hugs}}

Lbloom

Oh my, you poor thing! I would be totally freaking out as well. I'm glad you'll be going in for bi-weekly NSTs and lots of ultrasounds. Is there any possibility of home uterine monitoring? It's like an NST set up at your home and the results are sent to your doctor via email. Its not an option that's available everywhere, and they probably won't think it's necessary, but 3 weeks is a long time to sit and stress over this. I am praying for you and your family that this little one comes through safely!