Dealing with visitors

bookish

Backstory: I'm due in mid-February. Found out yesterday that my husband's out-of-state family wants to come visit the baby about 4-6 weeks after I give birth. There would be 7 of them total -- siblings ranging in age from 13 to 28.  

We would prefer if they staggered out their visits over a couple of weeks, but they are insistent that they all visit at the same time.

I felt really overwhelmed when they told me.  It makes me really anxious just to think of it. (Is that normal??)  One of my biggest concerns is that our apartment is very small (less than 900 sq ft.), and even though they would NOT be staying overnight, it would be like sardines in a can during the day when they want to visit.

Any tips or suggestions for how to deal with so many people at one time? Will I feel like a normal, functioning human being by then? Or will I still be a sleep deprived zombie? I think a lot of my anxiety stems from just not knowing how I will feel emotionally/physically by then. 

Feel free to tell me if I'm blowing this out of proportion, too. 

lizobss

If you don't want visitory, then that's your decision.  It's your house, and it's a lot to expect a new mom to house 7 other house guests when you're just getting to know your little one.  Stand your ground.

I was very happy with having people stopping over infrequently  for no longer than an hour at a time.  But that's just me.

KittyCatBio

your house, your kid, i'd make them do it your way.  but i'm an anal retentive control freak like that, others may advise you differently.

seriously, it would be better for THEM too, to get more quality time with the baby.  sometimes people get caught up in an "idea"-woo hoo, the whole fam damily together-and don't think about what it really means.   

 

vanillacourage

I would tell them that you can't commit now to being able to host them (even if they are not staying the night).  You could go overdue and be just over 2 weeks PP at that point. 

I don't blame them for wanting to visit at the same time (so they can see each other as well) but it doesn't mean you have to roll out the red carpet.

SBMBride406

The moms on this board probably think I am an alarmist, but I had a very bad experience with visitors coming when the baby was too young and my baby got very sick (details in bio). My advice to other new moms will always be to trust your gut and not to allow tons of visitors at one time - lots of people in a small place makes it much easier to share germs. Better safe than sorry is always the way to go IMO.

Now I could care less what people think of me - I have a ton of rules for visiting!

SevenLongYears

bookish:

Backstory: I'm due in mid-February. Found out yesterday that my husband's out-of-state family wants to come visit the baby about 4-6 weeks after I give birth. There would be 7 of them total -- siblings ranging in age from 13 to 28.  

I only had to read this much. The answer is NO! The last this you want when you are 4-6 weeks postpartum is to be dealing with family not to mention DH's. For me 4-6 weeks pp I was still recovering from a Csection and pardon my frankness, leaking from my unmentionables. You need to explain to your DH that it is going to be an emotional time for your new family and it will be difficult to even know how you are going to be feeling after such a sort time after giving birth and not to mention the baby. If the trip can be scheduled during the summer time it could work out better for the younger siblings. If this is something that cannot be avoided, your DH needs to be the one responsible for wrangling the crowd. All you need to be doing is taking care of yourself and your baby. Set up visiting hours, let your DH tend to the baby while the company is over and you get to nap, only allow 4 people at a time in the apartment. The main point I am trying to make is this: You are a mom and you are the BOSS! Blame your bossyness on hormones but don't let your concerns go unheard or you will be miserable.

SevenLongYears

SBMBride406:

Now I could care less what people think of me - I have a ton of rules for visiting!

My DH would love you! He has tons of rules too! The great thing is this: your baby, your rules!

Amymarie13

when DD wa 4 weeks old we had her baptised which meant MY out of state family and DH's oos family were all in town. It was more people than you're anticipating.  So... On one hand it was good b/c it got all the visiting over at once. I truly do not think I could've handled them all coming at different times - the visiting wou've gone on forever!!  It WAS a lot, but having my family there felt good and i really think it was so much better than staggering and having visitors every weekend for a month. Plus, you know someone will be pissed that whoever gets to see the baby before they do. PLus they could entertain eachother rather than DH and I having to be the entertainers... you know? They could go out to eat together, rather than being at our place the entire time!