Weird dream

hersheykiss

Some of you may be aware of some of my issues I am having with my maternal unit. She and I are not on the best of terms. She is a constant liar, not paying her mortgage, hiding things from me and my sisters, etc.

Well, I had a dream about her last night. We were arguing yet again about her finances and how she is ignoring the problem and lying about everything. At the end of the dream I finally told her until she starts telling me the truth she is not allowed to see me, DH, or Emmalee.

I woke up with a "WOW!" And now I am thinking that may be a good idea. She lives in Alaska so it is not like I am "depriving" her of every weekend visit. But that would mean she would not be here for the birth (which I am ok with anyway) and she would not be able to visit us until everything is fixed.

Karey08

I'm a fan of tough love, but I will say that the birth of a grandchild is something in life that never gets a 'do-over'.  To take away her opportunity to be a part of her baby having a baby seems a little too much.  But I do agree that sometimes it takes tough love to make someone you care about so much realize what they are doing - taking on a different form of it or delaying this until later would probably be best, just in my book.

**steps back to see how many toes I've stepped on as the newbie - I don't know the personalities here yet**

hersheykiss

You are not stepping on my toes by any means. I realize that E's birth is a once in a lifetime chance, but I will be having a c-section. She would not be able to be there anyway for the actual birth. Also, I had a child 7 years ago and she would not deem herself to be a part of that birth either, and I was only 4 hours away back then. She had more "important" things to do because I was giving birth out of wedlock and to a biracial child. She was too embarrassed to be there. Needless to say, I honestly don't care if she is present or not. This birth is no different in my mind, regardless of the fact that I am married now.

Karey08

hersheykiss:

I had a child 7 years ago and she would not deem herself to be a part of that birth either, and I was only 4 hours away back then. She had more "important" things to do because I was giving birth out of wedlock and to a biracial child. She was too embarrassed to be there. .

This makes me very sad for your mom.

Even with the back story I stick by my first thoughts.  At some point she will realize what she has missed, whether she admits it or not, and at that time she will never be able to say that it was you who kept her from grandchildren.  You will be able to remind her that she made her own decisions in life good or bad.