February 2013 Moms
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How to prepare older child?

Does anyone know where I can get some good info on this?  

I am not really sure what I need to be doing for DD.  We have told her about the baby, and I think she sort of comprehends... (sil just had a baby.)  She likes to kiss my belly, and waves and says Hi Baby to it all the time.  

I don't know if we are talking about the baby too much, or not enough, etc...

Re: How to prepare older child?

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    Our DDs are about the same age.

    We haven't really told her yet. DH has mentioned it and she kind of looked at my stomach funny, but that was the extent of it. My SIL also just had a baby, who we will probably see for the first time in a few weeks, and that's sort of when I hope to introduce the idea that one of those will be coming home with us, too.

    Kids who are as young as our DDs have a difficult time grasping the future, I think, so I don't want to emphasize the baby too much until it gets close to my EDD. My plan is that for Christmas I want to get her a doll and have her practice carrying the baby, changing the baby, feeding the baby, etc. Not because I expect her to do those things when LO is here! But because then she'll have an idea of what's going on, and they say that if you can find a way for your older child to help out, they'll feel more important and less left out (so like handing a diaper or wipes to you for a diaper change).


    BFP1: DD1 born April 2011 at 34w1d via unplanned c/s due to HELLP, DVT 1 week PP
    BFP2: 3/18/12, blighted ovum, natural m/c @ 7w4d
    BFP3: DD2 born Feb 2013 at 38w4d via unplanned RCS due to uterine dehiscence

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    My advice is to get the baby items out and around your house early.  I always do it at least a month before I go into labor.  This way my kids get used to seeing them and it isn't like all of a sudden the baby is here and in a swing and the kids want to climb all over it like monkeys.

    After the baby stuff is set up I get out a baby doll and start putting it in the baby stuff.  I teach the kids that whenever there is a baby in the swing, bouncy, PNP, etc. that they aren't allowed to touch it.  Once the baby is out of it the stuff is free game.  

    And then we use the baby doll to teach the little ones concepts like "gentle" and "soft".  We show them how mommy will nurse the baby on the boppy and how they can help me.  Stuff like that.

    That's really all I do.  Once the baby comes there are usually a few weeks of adjustment where we have to work on not screaming outside of the room the baby is sleeping in or not touching the newborn's face with their dirty hands.  But our transitions have gone really well so far (::knocking on wood::).  There is always a little regression with some of the kids, which is to be expected, but nothing a little extra TLC doesn't overcome quickly.

        
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    I guess it is a good thing DD loves baby dolls, she is always putting them in baby stuff at my mom's house.

    My brother and SIL and their 2 kids currently live with my parents.  Both children are younger than her, so twice DD has adjusted to a new baby around.  (my mom watches DD when I work, so she sees them several days a week.)  She is always putting her dolls in the new baby's swing.

     I guess I will keep discussing the baby here and there with her, and hope she stops trying to pull my shirt up/pants down in public.   I didn't think about getting the whole house ready pre-baby.  And the baby is getting her crib, and some other things, so I will have to remember to not make that such a sudden change. 

     

    Thanks for the advice!

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    Great post.  My DD will be 19 months when baby is born and I'm just nervous.  I'll be taking the advice for sure...
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    We talk about it a lot only because she likes to point to my stomach or her stomach and say baby same with U/S pics. And she has lots of dolls that we pretend to feed them, put them to sleep, or in some of her old toys. She recently found my nursing cover and loves to wear it.
    I think as I get bigger she will understand more. And for Christmas we plan on getting her a little crib, swing and stroller set for her dolls.
    We've had babies at our house and using her old stuff and she could careless so I'm hoping that doesn't change.
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    Although DS is currently an only child, he is almost 5 so he seems to understand. Though he tends to be preparing for his roll as big brother by anticipating fights with future bullies who might pick on his baby. I think it's funny how the protective instinct just comes naturally. Very cute.
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    image+adamwife+:

    My advice is to get the baby items out and around your house early.  I always do it at least a month before I go into labor.  This way my kids get used to seeing them and it isn't like all of a sudden the baby is here and in a swing and the kids want to climb all over it like monkeys.

    After the baby stuff is set up I get out a baby doll and start putting it in the baby stuff.  I teach the kids that whenever there is a baby in the swing, bouncy, PNP, etc. that they aren't allowed to touch it.  Once the baby is out of it the stuff is free game.  

    And then we use the baby doll to teach the little ones concepts like "gentle" and "soft".  We show them how mommy will nurse the baby on the boppy and how they can help me.  Stuff like that.

    That's really all I do.  Once the baby comes there are usually a few weeks of adjustment where we have to work on not screaming outside of the room the baby is sleeping in or not touching the newborn's face with their dirty hands.  But our transitions have gone really well so far (::knocking on wood::).  There is always a little regression with some of the kids, which is to be expected, but nothing a little extra TLC doesn't overcome quickly.

    This is the best advice I've read/heard so far, thank you! 

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