Did you guys ever discuss what level of openness you are both looking for? Maybe talking about it will ease your mind about whether or not they "want you around," if you haven't talked about it already.
I have no data to back this up, but just from speaking to people who have/are adopting, people who would want less contact, like in a closed or semi-open adoption may not have invited you to their home. I think if they are looking to be that open with you by hanging out and inviting you into their home now, they will probably feel ok with that level of openness later, but I would talk about it and see what everyone's expectations are.
I know that there is a popularized fear of greedy, baby hungry adoptive parents just doing whatever they can to get their hands on a baby, but I think for the most part that is one of those adoption stereotypes that are very rare. If you feel as though they are nice people, they are probably nice people. :-)
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I'm glad that the movie night went well! I agree with the PP, you should talk to them about each of your expectations regarding openness after the adoption. I think it will make you feel a lot better to talk it out with them. I also agree that people that are willing to have you over for a movie night are probably going to be pretty open, but definately talk to them about it. Good luck, I'm glad you had fun
Honestly, I would be surprised if after inviting you into their home, they decided to "close" you out. I think it should be a huge reassurance for you that they invited you into their home- I mean you now know where they live, that's a LOT of trust for them to give you, just as you gave them by inviting them into your home, and ultimately deciding to match with them.
FWIW, I really appreciate your sentiments. As an AP, I know the over analyzing that I did during BM's pregnancy, and so hearing that you as a BM are over analyzing things too- (and I mean that as a compliment) it's almost, calming. Like, as an AP we aren't the only ones? KWIM?
Don't be afraid to have the conversation with them about what you hope the relationship continues to look like, it sounds like it's already on a great start.
greenteabee
member
Re: (Untitled)
Glad it went well! Sounds like a great visit.
Hope you get to continue to have visits and any lingering doubts about them disappear so you have that needed peace of mind.
Glad you had fun!!
Did you guys ever discuss what level of openness you are both looking for? Maybe talking about it will ease your mind about whether or not they "want you around," if you haven't talked about it already.
I have no data to back this up, but just from speaking to people who have/are adopting, people who would want less contact, like in a closed or semi-open adoption may not have invited you to their home. I think if they are looking to be that open with you by hanging out and inviting you into their home now, they will probably feel ok with that level of openness later, but I would talk about it and see what everyone's expectations are.
I know that there is a popularized fear of greedy, baby hungry adoptive parents just doing whatever they can to get their hands on a baby, but I think for the most part that is one of those adoption stereotypes that are very rare. If you feel as though they are nice people, they are probably nice people. :-)
Honestly, I would be surprised if after inviting you into their home, they decided to "close" you out. I think it should be a huge reassurance for you that they invited you into their home- I mean you now know where they live, that's a LOT of trust for them to give you, just as you gave them by inviting them into your home, and ultimately deciding to match with them.
FWIW, I really appreciate your sentiments. As an AP, I know the over analyzing that I did during BM's pregnancy, and so hearing that you as a BM are over analyzing things too- (and I mean that as a compliment) it's almost, calming. Like, as an AP we aren't the only ones? KWIM?
Don't be afraid to have the conversation with them about what you hope the relationship continues to look like, it sounds like it's already on a great start.