Intervention/Rehab Help?
orriskitten
member
I posted yesterday about my dad being in the hospital and need some help.
My dad is an alcoholic and has been for much longer than I've been alive. He gave himself diabetes, had a heart attack at 50 and had a quadruple bypass so his heart is functioning at 45% max. He is having trouble sleeping so has been taking Ambien. And still drinking. Like a gallon of wine a night drinking. No surprise to us, he found out he has kidney and liver problems now which is attributed to the drinking.
I found out today that my step sister (who I am close with, we are the same age and she is DD's god mother) woke up to go to work and found my dad unconscious on the kitchen floor this week. He had fallen into the front of the stove and completely shattered the glass and had apparently passed out after. My step sister was afraid to tell me details, but today I got the whole story from my step mom who is at her wits end. She has a son who is mentally challenged and her daughter in the house in addition to her dog and she is afraid of what will happen or that he might hurt one of them by accident. I am going to hold off on my rant on why she married this man (this is nothing new, my mom divorced him 23 years ago for this kind of behavior), but I truly want to help. I consider my step mom and step siblings my family as much as I do my dad.
He needs to go into rehab, but will not do it himself, so I need to find one and see if I can get him to go. How do I do this? Where do I begin looking?
He is not physically okay because of his heart and diabetes and is not mentally okay because of that either. He doesn't believe in therapy and couldn't relate to support groups for heart attack patients because he was 20+ years younger than everyone. He has had some close calls following the heart attack and is scared to sleep, thus the drinking to numb himself and the ambien to knock him out.
I do not know if he will go willingly, but I need to try. Step mom called me and step sis too to try to get me to talk to him to see if I can reach him. I want to go to him with the idea that he needs to go to rehab. He has admitted he has a problem, so maybe he'll hear it if I give him the info and tell him I will drive him.
If he refuses it, I am going to tell him that he will not be allowed to see his only granddaughter because I will NOT have her exposed to that kind of being. It messed me up enough as a child and it will not happen to her. And it is going to absolutely break my heart, but I don't know what else I can do. I need to protect my daughter. I also need to protect myself. I do not need to be around to watch my second parent deteriorate the same way because of addiction.
If you can point me in the right direction for the name of a kind of facility he would need, please let me know. He is in Staten Island, NY, if that matters. There is too much info out there and I can't narrow it down without a blind guess.
TIA
Re: Intervention/Rehab Help?
But honestly I don't know if you can force someon e to go against their will unless they are a true danger to themselves.
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. I am very familiar with addiction and family members, it is so hard when they won't get help.
First off, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I can relate, 100%.
My dad was al alcoholic for many years before he passed away. Honestly, I got to the point where I knew there wasn't anything I could do.
The only tiny bit of advice I have is only if he is suicidal. If he threatens suicide, you can have him committed. It is for 72 hours, and he will get intense therapy.
Feel free to pm me.
YGPM
Well, you will in a few minutes after I finish writing it
I do think he is a danger to himself. He is not the type of person to say he is suicidal, but his actions are dangerous.
He has said he needs help, I think he just has too much pride to get it himself. I do think he wants to change, especially since Melody is around. He has said it and has tried. He cut back his drinking to only 6 nights a week, he told me, but doesn't seem to be able to do it alone.
If he is still in the hospital tomorrow, I will definitely try.
If he has already been discharged, can I still contact someone in the hospital or can they only help current, admitted patients?
If you tell the hospital he is a danger to himself they can keep him in the psych ward for 72 hours. It might be enough to get him sober.
ETA- sober enough to agree to go to a rehab. I know getting sober for life is a very long journey.
He claims to have not drank in 5 days, step mom says 2 days plus yesterday and today if he is not home. I don't think he'd respond well to psych and it will be more gradual. I don't think 72 hours will be enough, but I have done a bit of research and will reach out to some people I know who have recovered and see what they can tell me.
Also, Trudy, YGPM.
I have no advice but wanted to come in and offer hugs anyway.
This. Incredibly sorry you have this on your shoulders. I hope you can find a solution and things improve. T&P's.