2nd Trimester

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  • image shibby00:
    Why you mad, tho?

    this made me laugh 

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  • image AimeeL85:

    image gravytrain225:
    Thanks for posting, OP.  People may snark, but these things are on this board almost every day. 

    Yeah, and they will continue to be. This little "PSA" won't change that.

     
    This is what I was thinking. No matter how many times all of these things, especially the sex/gender thing is talked about, it is still going to be brought up regularly.

    If anatomy u/s posts bother you so much, stop reading them. 






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  • image shibby00:
    Why you mad, tho?

    Yes

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  • I agree with everyone else that this post sounded very condescending. I did want to respond to your first point, though, since I think you entirely misread a thread the other day. I was one of the ones who said that if the machine wasn't good enough to tell the sex, it shouldn't be used for an a/s. The reason is that before even starting, the tech told the woman that she probably wouldn't be able to tell the sex because the resolution of the u/s wasn't high enough. For me, that would be a red flag. If you don't think the resolution is going to be good enough to see that, how do you expect it to see potential heart problems, for example?

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  • image Shayliz:
    For someone whose location is "Stay away BSC"..... this post is pretty funny.

    Agreed :)


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  • image happilyeverafterxo:

    image Shayliz:
    For someone whose location is "Stay away BSC"..... this post is pretty funny.

    Agreed :)

    ::Waves HI to HEA:: Big Smile

    OP, I hate that these "respect the anatomy scan" posts almost always seem to incur the wrath of everyone since IMHO they are important. But? You really could have done without the condescension and YELLING.

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  • Rant much???

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  • image WaitingOnTwoPinkLines:
    1 You are NOT guaranteed to find out the sex. Baby could be positioned oddly, the cord could be between their legs, etc. I've seen several comments to the effect of "well, if their machine couldn't get a decent shot of the genitals, they shouldn't be using it to measure the organs amp; such, either!" While a subpar machine would likely face issues getting the "crotch shot", it is just as likely that the failure to definitively determine sex was due to something out of the tech's control. We weren't able to get a decent profile picture at our AS because baby was laying on his face amp; the tech couldn't get a good angle. It had nothing to do with machine quality or her expertise.2 You are NOT finding out the gender. Gender is between the ears, SEX is between the legs. Sex is a physical characteristic, usually divided into definitively male or female though sometimes abnormalities can result in ambiguous genitalia. Gender is a much more fluid concept, defined by how a person feels amp; is rarely completely masculine or feminine. It may or may not match up to their physical genitalia. It may change from day to day amp; year to year.3 The MAIN PURPOSE of the AS is to make sure that your baby is healthy. That his/her heart is formed properly, that he/she has two kidneys, a brain, two arms, two legs. It is to confirm that their ANATOMY is correct. Period. Full stop.4 Unless directed by your doctor, don't drink a soda/eat a candy bar/do crack prior to your AS so that "baby will be all wiggly!!1!" It makes the tech's job harder. This scan isn't for your entertainment if you want to, you can pay for an elective scan amp; by all means, drink that energy drink beforehand if you want to watch Junior bounce off the walls of your ute. The AS tech needs a cooperative baby first amp; foremost, so that they can get precise measurements amp; pictures for the OB/MW to read. That is VERY difficult when baby is juiced up on sugar amp;/or caffeine. It also takes longer, which means their appointments will be running behind meaning that if I am scheduled later in the day, I may have to wait longer because you decided to start your day with a Snickers amp; a Coke. OR, they might ask you to reschedule if baby is being particularly uncooperative read: is too hyped up, amp; then you won't get to find out the allimportant sex of your baby until later at which point you will feel compelled to log on to TB amp; complain that your tech was incompetent because there is NO WAY those Pop Rocks you ate before your appointment had ANYTHING to do with it.5 AS are usually done around 20w. Some offices do them earlier, some later. Deal with it.I'm sure there are some important points I've failed to cover. I reserve the right to add to this list if/when I think of them.nbsp;


    Yes there have been some ridiculous posts about this topic lately. :::goes back to lurking:::


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  • image dande2129:

    image gravytrain225:
    Thanks for posting, OP.  People may snark, but these things are on this board almost every day. 

    Because one post is going to change all of that....

    There will always be the same repetitive questions, comments and even answers. 

     

    Totally what I was going to say, dande! 

     

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  • I'm gonna disagree with you about complaints regarding ultrasound machines that are apparently too crappy to even get good images of the organs and other things they actually do these scans for. I was in that position, and I know first had that it happens and it's incredibly frustrating! You don't tell someone they have no valid complaints when they set aside time to go for one of these things, and the machine can't even pick up on the things they're supposed to look for, then you have to set aside MORE time later to do it all over again because they couldn't see what they needed to. If the machine was that bad, then they should have had me go to the clinic with the better equipment in the first place. That's just common sense!

    And before someone pesters me about being butthurt I didn't find out the gender at the first one, I'll tell you this: No, I did not. But that wasn't what I was most concerned about, either. I wanted to know my baby was growing properly and was healthy, and they couldn't even provide me with that information!

    Also, I agree with others saying to stop it with the gender/sex stuff. It doesn't matter. It's getting really old.

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  • Another thing to consider is that it is entirely possible most women are fully informed about the true reason and nature of the anatomy scan.  But for some who are natural worriers it just may be easier to say, "I may get to find out if I'm having a boy or a girl at the a/s and I'm so excited!" Rather than, "I'm heading into the a/s where I may or may not find out that my baby is not developing properly."  For some it could be a matter of perspective, not misinformation or ignorance.

    I also agree with some PPs, that if the repetitiveness of a/s posts irk you, don't read them. But don't post an aggressive and condescending novel about them and expect people to be thankful for it.   

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  • image magnoliablossom00:
    image +homeslice+:

    ummm... thanks??

     

    Yes

    Also, enough with the gender/sex thing. It makes you sound "high-and-mighty." No one cares. Dead horse already.

     

    This!

     

    Ugh hate post like this...  

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  • Thank you, but I think we are all grown women and we can feel the way we want about our own babies and pregnancies. 

    If a woman wants to refer to her child being a boy or a girl as sex or gender, that's her choice. She also has the right to make her own parenting decisions. It's her baby, not The Bump's community baby. 

    If a woman wants to have a soda or juice before her OWN a/s, that's her choice. It may or may not affect the quality or outcome, but again, her choice and time.

    If a woman chooses to ask a stupid question in a public forum, well I guess that's her choice. She may be opening herself to being attacked, but WELCOME TO THE INTERNET. 

    And unless you are all of our personal doctors, I don't believe you "know" any of these things to be what our doctors believe or want.

    FWIW, my doctor's office has an optional scan separate from the A/S referred officially to as the "gender determination scan". Everyone has different ways of doing things/saying things. If that is too much for you to accept, then perhaps you should reconsider your public forum involvement. 

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  • image WaitingOnTwoPinkLines:

    1) You are NOT guaranteed to find out the sex... 2) You are NOT finding out the gender. Gender is between the ears, SEX is between the legs...

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  • image hansonam446:
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     Hahaha! I love it! 

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  • image this decaf life:
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    Hahaha I love you!

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  • image magnoliablossom00:
    image +homeslice+:

    ummm... thanks??

    Yes

    Also, enough with the gender/sex thing. It makes you sound "high-and-mighty." No one cares. Dead horse already.

    Yes

    OP, I'd recommend you back away from the computer (or at least TB) for a bit and chill. This post is not going to stop women from being upset that they couldn't find out the gender (I mean SEX), drinking a little OJ on the way to their appointment (or perhaps crack in some cases Wink ), and most importantly, from posting their complaints.

    In all honestly, I am thankful for this post though because some of these replies and gifs are epic.

    Oh, and I do reserve the right to come back and edit this post if need be.

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  • image hansonam446:
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    Holy moly this about killed me. DH looked at me like I was crazy. This!!
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  • image ta78:


    This is what I was thinking. No matter how many times all of these things, especially the sex/gender thing is talked about, it is still going to be brought up regularly.

    If anatomy u/s posts bother you so much, stop reading them. 

    This. You sound pretty worked up, raising your blood pressure isn't good for your baby. I'd skip the a/s posts if I were you.

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  • ::snort::

    It cracks me up that you all think I'm just so worked up. You obviously have an over-inflated sense of how much TB means to me. This post was born of observations made over the past several weeks, & instead of continuing to reply on every AS post, I decided to put them all together. It'll be gone from the front page after a few days, but in the meantime, it's getting tons of views :) 

    Whether you think the gender vs. sex distinction is a dead horse or not, it is glaringly apparent that some people just don't get it. Not to mention, I'm sure there are people who have never really thought about the distinction - if my post/comment prompts them to explore it, then it is worth it. As society evolves & more people identify (both publicly & privately) as transgendered, it is an important discussion to be had.

    Lastly, I posted it here (not in first tri like someone suggested) because last I checked, the AS is done in 2nd tri. Unless the entire medical profession has suddenly decided to start counting tris differently?

  • image WaitingOnTwoPinkLines:

    ::snort::

    It cracks me up that you all think I'm just so worked up. You obviously have an over-inflated sense of how much TB means to me. This post was born of observations made over the past several weeks, & instead of continuing to reply on every AS post, I decided to put them all together. It'll be gone from the front page after a few days, but in the meantime, it's getting tons of views :) 

    Whether you think the gender vs. sex distinction is a dead horse or not, it is glaringly apparent that some people just don't get it. Not to mention, I'm sure there are people who have never really thought about the distinction - if my post/comment prompts them to explore it, then it is worth it. As society evolves & more people identify (both publicly & privately) as transgendered, it is an important discussion to be had.

    Lastly, I posted it here (not in first tri like someone suggested) because last I checked, the AS is done in 2nd tri. Unless the entire medical profession has suddenly decided to start counting tris differently?

    I beg to differ. You were definitely worked up in your OP. We could care less how much TB means to you, however, it's quite obvious that it means enough for you to make a whole thread "instead of continuing to reply on every AS post." If it didn't mean that much to you, you wouldn't open all of the a/s threads to begin with, you wouldn't go overboard in creating an entire thread on this topic, and you most certainly wouldn't care about your view count on the main page.

    While the a/s is done during the 2nd tri, the majority of the frequent posters here have already had their a/s and don't care whether or not their being politically correct using sex instead of gender. The PP that mentioned posting this RANT in 1st tri probably did so because those women haven't had their a/s yet. Your RANT or "advice" would likely be better taken over there. Just saying.

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  • and you have an over inflated sense of self.

    ::snort::


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  • Not at all. I don't get worked up over obnoxious threads or posts in general.

    Since 2nd tri is from weeks 13-27 and many women get them done as early as 18 weeks, I wouldn't call that the second half. From what I've seen on this board, there are more women that have had them done than not.

    I happen to use sex rather than gender when speaking simply because I prefer it. However, I don't think someone using gender makes them completely incompetent and gives others the right to flame them.  

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  • image WaitingOnTwoPinkLines:

    Whether you think the gender vs. sex distinction is a dead horse or not, it is glaringly apparent that some people just don't get it. Not to mention, I'm sure there are people who have never really thought about the distinction - if my post/comment prompts them to explore it, then it is worth it. As society evolves & more people identify (both publicly & privately) as transgendered, it is an important discussion to be had.

    While I agree with this, I think that this is probably the wrong context for this. Most MTBs who want to know if baby has a P or a V want to know so that they can buy blue clothes or pink clothes and decorate the nursery accordingly. Of course there will be thoughts/dreams/fantasies about what LO will be like throughout life, but baby isn't going to be emotionally damaged or hurt that he was dressed like a he at six months or she had hair bows every single day.

     

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  • Gender vs. sex...SNORE

     mu ultrasound tech TOLD me to drink a big glass of OJ an hour before the ultrasound.  

    What bad people we are to be excited to find out if we're haing a boy or girl! I don't think it has to be said that someone is happy that their baby is healthy...duh.

    Perhaps you should stay off message boards. 

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  • image Treschic81:

    Gender vs. sex...SNORE

     mu ultrasound tech TOLD me to drink a big glass of OJ an hour before the ultrasound.  

    What bad people we are to be excited to find out if we're haing a boy or girl! I don't think it has to be said that someone is happy that their baby is healthy...duh.

    Perhaps you should stay off message boards. 

    Apparently you missed the part where I said unless you are told to.

    I never said anyone was a bad person to be excited about finding out the sex. I was excited, however, I also know that sex determination is not the main reason for the scan. I was much more concerned about the baby being healthy than what gear he was carrying. I can understand being disappointed if you aren't able to find out, but stomping your feet & throwing a fit because you didn't is ridiculous, & I've seen it more than once. 

    I love how because I made a new thread about something, I am *obviously* worked up. There ARE things I get worked up about, no doubt. I have my hills to die on. AS aren't one of them. I do think the gender vs. sex distinction is important, but it isn't one of my main soapboxes. Car seat usage? Yes. Evidenced-based maternity care? Yes. Those are the things you will see me getting "worked up" over. Those are the things that make my BP rise. 

  • image melissaclaireJ:

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    Ummm, thanks mom? 

    /dead!


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  • image WaitingOnTwoPinkLines:

    1) You are NOT guaranteed to find out the sex. Baby could be positioned oddly, the cord could be between their legs, etc. I've seen several comments to the effect of "well, if their machine couldn't get a decent shot of the genitals, they shouldn't be using it to measure the organs & such, either!" While a sub-par machine would likely face issues getting the "crotch shot", it is just as likely that the failure to definitively determine sex was due to something out of the tech's control. We weren't able to get a decent profile picture at our AS because baby was laying on his face & the tech couldn't get a good angle. It had nothing to do with machine quality or her expertise.

    2) You are NOT finding out the gender. Gender is between the ears, SEX is between the legs. Sex is a physical characteristic, usually divided into definitively male or female (though sometimes abnormalities can result in ambiguous genitalia). Gender is a much more fluid concept, defined by how a person feels - & is rarely completely masculine or feminine. It may or may not match up to their physical genitalia. It may change from day to day & year to year.

    3) The MAIN PURPOSE of the AS is to make sure that your baby is healthy. That his/her heart is formed properly, that he/she has two kidneys, a brain, two arms, two legs. It is to confirm that their ANATOMY is correct. Period. Full stop.

    4) Unless directed by your doctor, don't drink a soda/eat a candy bar/do crack prior to your AS so that "baby will be all wiggly!!1!" It makes the tech's job harder. This scan isn't for your entertainment - if you want to, you can pay for an elective scan & by all means, drink that energy drink beforehand if you want to watch Junior bounce off the walls of your ute. The AS tech needs a cooperative baby first & foremost, so that they can get precise measurements & pictures for the OB/MW to read. That is VERY difficult when baby is juiced up on sugar &/or caffeine. It also takes longer, which means their appointments will be running behind - meaning that if I am scheduled later in the day, I may have to wait longer because you decided to start your day with a Snickers & a Coke. OR, they might ask you to reschedule if baby is being particularly uncooperative (read: is too hyped up), & then you won't get to find out the all-important sex of your baby until later (at which point you will feel compelled to log on to TB & complain that your tech was incompetent because there is NO WAY those Pop Rocks you ate before your appointment had ANYTHING to do with it).

    5) AS are usually done around 20w. Some offices do them earlier, some later. Deal with it.

    I'm sure there are some important points I've failed to cover. I reserve the right to add to this list if/when I think of them. 

     

    Thank you, Oh Wise One, for educating this poor, uneducated conservative. I am SO enlightened and humbled by your progressive, forward-thinking ways!!

    PS - I find out the gender of my baby on September 25th! They BETTER have a good machine, b/c if I don't find out the gender I am going to SUE! I also fully intend to reschedule my scan b/w 2pm and 4pm so I can hit up Sonic Happy Hour on the way and get me a Route 44 Diet Dr Pepper. I wanna see my baby jump roping with his/her umbilical cord! 

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    "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:26-27&33-34
  • image this decaf life:
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      This!
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  • Good plan. Have a condescending rant to a bunch of very hormonal women. Hope it works out for you. :) 
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  • good post OP!
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