December 2011 Moms

2nd pregnancy baby shower

I got a shower invite for a friend (from hs, not extremely close but she did come to my shower last year).  She is pregnant with her 3rd baby, she has a set of 5 year old twin boys.  She is having a little girl this time around.  I don't agree with having a shower for your second (or third in this case) child because I feel like it seems "gift grabby".  The only reason I bring this up is because this will be the 3rd shower that I have attended this year that is for someone who already has a child. 

When I registered for my shower and bought staple items for DS I purposefully chose gender neutral items that would work if I have a daughter the next time around.  Did others do this as well?

Does anyone else feel like 2nd-time-around showers are becoming more of the norm and not the exception?  Do you think there should be exceptions?   

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 0015-1

Re: 2nd pregnancy baby shower

  • We have all boys in our family, then came Abby 14yrs after my son. I had a small family shower;smaller than my previous family only shower 14 yrs ago and would have been ok either way.I think it depends on alot on the mother to be's attitude and how many showers she actually has in terms of gift grabby-ness.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Some people don't want to hold onto things for 5 years.

    But anyway, I don't see the problem in second showers - as long as it's not some huge shower with a registry full of expensive things. A small get together with games and small gifts (cute outfits or whatever), sure.

    DS #1 - 12/10/11
    image

    DS #2 - 4/2/14

  • Loading the player...
  • Sometimes people just want to throw you a shower! I tried to discourage a few of my showers the first time around, but I found myself coming off a little negative. If people want to celebrate you, let it be :)

    I find myself irritated if mama to be's try to orchestrate them from behind the scenes...that is annoying. Or if the organizers of the shower make a big deal about how the mama to be "has nothing" because then you feel obligated to give rather than simply celebrate the new life joining the world by giving a gift.

  • imageMamaToFinley:

    Sometimes people just want to throw you a shower! I tried to discourage a few of my showers the first time around, but I found myself coming off a little negative. If people want to celebrate you, let it be :)

    I find myself irritated if mama to be's try to orchestrate them from behind the scenes...that is annoying. Or if the organizers of the shower make a big deal about how the mama to be "has nothing" because then you feel obligated to give rather than simply celebrate the new life joining the world by giving a gift.

    Several of these types of showers that I have been to recently have been the exact scenario that you just described.  Moms to be who had a girl the first time around, bought everything pink (literally everything, carseat, stroller, Pnp,ect) and then got pregnant with a boy a couple of years later.  The "I am starting over with baby stuff" attitude was definitely communicated and I felt compelled to buy something that was probably more expensive then I normally would because she "needed" it.  I guess that is probably why I have a bad taste in my mouth about these showers because I will not "need" any of the big things and if I do I will purchase them for myself. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 0015-1
  • I think it depends on the family honestly. We don't do 2nd baby showers in my family so I don't expect one the second time around. Knowing this, I also intentionally bought everything gender neutral. The only super girly thing we have is her high chair which is pink with butterflies. That being said, I really don't have an issue with it if other people have a 2nd baby shower. I think it depends more on the attitude. If someone is being gift grabby and unappreciative of the gifts they did receive, I would be super annoyed whether this is their first child or their fourth.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Live & let live. If it's such a big deal then don't go.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Since it's been 5 years, and a girl this time, I don't see the big deal. Like a PP said too, if it's a small thing where it's more to celebrate the pregnancy/baby and not a 'gift grab' it wouldn't bother me.
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I honestly have mixed feelings on the subject.  I would feel bad having a 2nd baby shower for myself. On the other hand, I just went to a good friend's "sprinkle" shower and it was done very tastefully.  There was only a handful of girls there (10 maybe?) and she made a wish list on Amazon.  The invite said "if you wish to shower baby girl X there is a list of a few things she needs".  It was all things you would get for a new baby, new nipples for bottles, pacis, cloth diaper inserts, pnp sheets that kind of stuff, nothing too outrageous.  

    I had a boy and I went with a navy travel system.  Probably not the best idea but honestly it will still work if it's a girl and I can afford to by myself a new one if I want it.  All the other big stuff I went gender-neutral.   

  • I think 2nd pregnancy showers are okay sometimes.  I actually went to two for the same person, a good friend, who had her baby earlier this year.  One of these showers was thrown by a girl who didn't know her when she had baby #1 and wanted to do something nice since they'd become such good friends in the time they'd known each other, and the second shower was thrown by our church - a diapers and wipes shower.

    Both of these showers my friend was obviously thankful for since she received nice gifts, but I know she tried to discourage both since this was her second baby and she had more than enough saved for baby #2.

    I don't agree with 2nd pregnancy gift-grabby showers.  And it sounds like you and this girl aren't really good friends.  I don't know about anyone else, but I wouldn't invite those who weren't family or very close friends to a 2nd pregnancy shower if I were to have one.

    GO HOKIES!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I really don't see the big deal about 2nd showers and in the small town I grew up in, they are the norm.  If someone offers to throw one, I would think it should be small and only include close family and friends, not a huge list like some people do.  If you don't want to get a gift, don't.
  • They are the norm here, too. I don't mind getting a baby gift for a friend's second (or third or fourth) baby.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

     image

  • 2nd showers are NBD here. Generally in my experience big items aren't given at baby showers, just lots of fun and helpful things - clothes, diapers, toys etc so why would anyone not want to give those things? I love baby showers whether it is the 1st, 2nd or 3rd baby.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic


  • Eh, I don't see the problem in them. If someone offers me a baby shower for my second child, I would think it very rude to decline. I would gladly throw a baby shower for either of my sister-in-laws if they were to get pregnant again and they both have 2 kids already. I think it just depends on the person and the area you live. If you try to throw yourself one or if your mom does it or something, then thats a different story.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I understand the desire for a second shower if the gender is not what your first was. But it should be on a smaller scale and mostly gender related items.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Adalynn Priya Marie Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I think I'd play it by ear based on the circumstances involved because 2nd showers have gotten so much more common.  I'd rather go to a 2nd shower for someone who is going to appreciate everything they're getting and grateful to have gotten it than to go to a first shower of someone who is not grateful and gift grabby... 

    Mine were 7 years apart with different genders and no one even hinted at throwing us a shower or "sprinkle" as some refer to them.  It all depends on the circle and circumstances..

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • i have a friend who just had a shower for her 2nd daughter... but in her instance, I think it's OK because she never had a shower for her 1st daughter since she was in the hospital with pre-eclampsia for the last 3 months of her pregnancy.
  • I had one for Noah, it wasn't about getting gifts, it was about celebrating a new baby. I wanted to be able to put and invitation and pictures in his baby book, so he will know that he was being welcomed by our family and friends.

    With that said, my should with Aiden was about 50 people in our clubhouse and my shower with Noah was about 8-10 people for brunch at a restaurant, but he will have that stuff in his book, so he won't feel like he was a second child, and a second boy in 26 months.

    imageimage

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"