I was just thinking about this the other day. Luckily for us, my pregnancy was very easy and Brynn has been a super easy baby, so it's not about that. I've always known I wanted at least 2 kids but after having Brynn, I have that feeling like- how can I possibly love more than this? Also, is it fair to have to split my time and dedication between more than one child?
Ultimately, I know I want my child to have a sibling and I think we'll still start trying for a second next year, but I definitely feel differently than I thought I would at this point.
BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011
BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident
BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown
To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.
I hear you...and I don't have the luxury of time
I had an easy, healthy pregnancy at age 34/35, but I have fertilty issues and may not be able to have another.
Ds is our world and a pretty easy baby, but a bad sleeper. I can't imagine doing it again with a toddler! Part of me says we are done, but I feel badly if ds doesnt have a sibling.
b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11 DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
I totally understand. I used to want 3 kids. After DS I was okay with 2. Now that he is 9 months old I am loving 1 and done more and more.
He definitely won't get a sibling for another couple years at least. It is so hard, but there is no right/wrong answer. Just do what is best for your family!
BFP #1: 3.28.11 Dx w/ PIH @ 24w
DS Born @ 36w: 11.7.11
6 Days in NICU BFP #2: 8.31.16 Dx w/ GD @ 28w DD Born @ 36w: 4.21.17
Because of health issues we may be only able to have one. But I would really love for her to have a sibling. Then I realize that this is the only reason I want another one. I don't actually want another child, I want E to have a sibling. I think that if this is my primary motivation it would be wrong for me to have one. I hear this a lot too. Not how much someone wants another child, but how they want a built-in playmate.
In our 20s we hadn't yet decided whether or not we would have children. We were leaning toward no. People would always say to us that we needed to have one so that someone would care for us in our old age. Have these people never walked through a nursing home? Most of those people have children! And not all of those children are involved in their care.
Now people say we should have another one because she needs to have a sibling and lifelong friend. Often these are people who don't see their own brothers and sisters due to distance or lack of closeness.
The bottom line is that there are no guarantees and I'm not so sure I want to try for another unless I feel like I want another child for our family, not a sibling for by daughter.
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You absolutely love the 2nd as much as the first. Even if bonding takes a little longer. Plus, the sibling relationship is such a fantastic thing to watch develop. It is so worth it. DD LOVES her brother and he loves her. It's truly amazing.
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DH and I want a big family, but I get so sick when Im PG that when I found out about DD2 and that she was due a week and a half before DD1s 2nd birthday I freaked out! I was panicked! Turned out that my second pregnancy was even worse than the first with even more nausea, and a bad back, but as soon as DD2 was in my arms I cherished her as much as DD1. DD2 is such a joy to us and DD1, we love her so much and she fits in so perfectly, I can't imagine my life without her! So when ever it happens it will be the right time. And the love your DD will have for her little brother or sister will be more touching than anything you've ever seen. But you have to do what's best for you and your family. We believe strongly in NFP so my own lack of charting led us to #2 earlier than planned but we were open to it either way. I would just suggest keeping an open mind, and know that no time is the perfect time to have a child, but every moment it worth it!
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I would not worry about this right now. You have a 9 month old! My DD was over 2 before I even began to think about #2. Some people wait 4-5 years because of your reasonings! Give yourself time to enjoy this baby and as babies get older, it gets easier to take care of them, IMO, and then you might feel differently. Or you might not!
Bananappeal145
member
Re: (Untitled)
I was just thinking about this the other day. Luckily for us, my pregnancy was very easy and Brynn has been a super easy baby, so it's not about that. I've always known I wanted at least 2 kids but after having Brynn, I have that feeling like- how can I possibly love more than this? Also, is it fair to have to split my time and dedication between more than one child?
Ultimately, I know I want my child to have a sibling and I think we'll still start trying for a second next year, but I definitely feel differently than I thought I would at this point.
BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011
BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident
BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown
To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
I totally understand. I used to want 3 kids. After DS I was okay with 2. Now that he is 9 months old I am loving 1 and done more and more.
He definitely won't get a sibling for another couple years at least. It is so hard, but there is no right/wrong answer. Just do what is best for your family!
BFP #2: 8.31.16 Dx w/ GD @ 28w DD Born @ 36w: 4.21.17
Because of health issues we may be only able to have one. But I would really love for her to have a sibling. Then I realize that this is the only reason I want another one. I don't actually want another child, I want E to have a sibling. I think that if this is my primary motivation it would be wrong for me to have one. I hear this a lot too. Not how much someone wants another child, but how they want a built-in playmate.
In our 20s we hadn't yet decided whether or not we would have children. We were leaning toward no. People would always say to us that we needed to have one so that someone would care for us in our old age. Have these people never walked through a nursing home? Most of those people have children! And not all of those children are involved in their care.
Now people say we should have another one because she needs to have a sibling and lifelong friend. Often these are people who don't see their own brothers and sisters due to distance or lack of closeness.
The bottom line is that there are no guarantees and I'm not so sure I want to try for another unless I feel like I want another child for our family, not a sibling for by daughter.