Aaaah! (A Novel)

NativeFloridian · August 2012

I cannot even handle the events of the last 72 hours, lol.

So I posted a while back about how my wedding was coming up and it was assumed by MIL that FIL was officiating a traditional Christian ceremony for us, etc. Well, we came up with a plan of action - we would carry on as planned, but have a "dummy" officiant (someone not a notary) perform the ceremony. Then we would roll on down to the courthouse two weeks later (to align buying the license with payday, lol) and get hitched in the eyes of the law. So I asked a good friend to do the honors, and she wholeheartedly agreed. Yay! Or at least, yay until she remembered that she had prior obligations. "I am the sh!ttiest person ever," told me, with profuse apologies. So that left us without our fake officiant just one week before the wedding.

Well, we found another friend who's all for it...at 2:30 this afternoon. Ceremony's Saturday, peeps. This guy doesn't even have the script in hand yet. I am sweating bullets!

Oh, and I have to make my cake (yeah, I'm that DIY idiot bride). And buy the rest of my daughters' wedding clothes and shoes. And buy a few more things for the wedding.

Then there's my eldest child, with all her new kindergarten-y brain development and new abilities that are both amazing and infuriating, depending on whether she chooses to use her power for good or for evil. Some days I just want to explode.

And then, as if that wasn't enough, just the day before yesterday I got the most instantaneous, darkest positive result on a pregnancy test that I've ever seen, and I've seen two others! Girls, I don't even know how far along I am. And while I know how it happened in the scientific sense, I don't know how it happened in the when sense. I have no farking clue how far along I am,but I think I'm farther along than just-missed-my-period-positive because of how quickly it appeared, and how dark it was. Although I doubt it, I could even be as many as 9 weeks. 9 weeks! And there's not a practice in my area that's in-network for my insurance that has an appointment any earlier than the 18th of September. Given the super horrible loss of the last pregnancy, the fact that I have to wait three weeks before I can even be seen is none too comforting. I'm banking on a lack of spotting and the mild presence of some pregnancy symptoms to keep the hope alive that nothing is wrong.

I'm just...I don't even know. I'm super excited, but super stressed, and I've spent at least 10% of the last few days just feeling like hyperventilating. And I was trying to keep it off the boards because I didn't want to be the jerk who announces a BFP when someone else is scared sh!tless about their own pregnancy, (I'm sorry, MMHa! I am the biggest jerk ever!) but I have no one to talk to about this. Aside from FI and my friend who's living with us nobody else knows, and I'm not telling anyone until I at least know how far along I am. Someone talk me down!

NotSharknado · August 2012

Breath. Whoa! You have a lot going on there lady! First don't stress. Take it all as it comes. You seem like a real tough chick and I think you'll do just fine. Congrats on your wedding and congrats on your pregnancy. I'll be thinking of you.

Duckieer · August 2012

Holy moly! That is a lot going on! Congrats on your BFP! Take deep breaths and stay calm. Enjoy the wedding! You only have one! hopefully!

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · August 2012

Let me start off by saying that YOU ARE NOT THE BIGGEST JERK EVER!!!! At all. Reading about your BFP put that huge smile on my face and made me chuckle because, well, I can certainly relate to the "holee sh!t when did THAT happen" feeling. I am SO sorry you cannot see a Dr for another 3 weeks, though. Aren't there some pregnancy tests out there that will give you an idea of how far along you are? Or did I just dream there were?

Now as for your wedding, I am so glad you updated us. I have been thinking about you, wondering how things ended up for you. I must admit that reading your update has ME sweting bullets, so I can only imagine how insane things must be for you. I am glad that you will get the wedding you want, even if it requires some shenanigans from your part. That will make a great story to tell the kids, that's for sure

Good luck Saturday - I hope you have the most beautiful day of your life

S-Tuna · August 2012

Oh man, I am stressed just reading that. Congrats on the BFP! When I start feeling overwhelmed with life, I just keep telling myself to keep moving forward. "It is what it is," and you've got to continue on. You are getting married this weekend!! And, you're having another baby!!

chottomotto · August 2012

As far as the wedding goes, what can you delegate to someone else (anyone else)? Make a list and ask around! At least get help with the cake. You don't have to be the one mixing the batter or doing the crumb frosting. And no one cares about the officiant, they just want to hear your vows. Make them heartfelt and genuine and you'll be golden.

As for the BFP -- Congratulations! Think of it this way: no TTC hell, no 2 Week Wait, and your first trimester might be coming to an end soon so you don't have to keep it secret for so long! I mean by the time you see an OB, you'll have that baby nice and baked, ready to show off!