How do you handle it?

derika13

I am very excited to ttc again but I can't help but worry.. Thinking what if? I know I'm not the only one with this concern, so how do you ladies stop yourself from stressing over it? Thanks 

xconf143usionx

I know it's hard, but I try not to worry about anything until it happens. It takes a lot of practice, but after every scary situation that turns out well, you feel better about the next one. Even small things. Also, focusing on your life as a whole and not just TTC. It's really easy to get wrapped up in in TTC with all of the signs to pay attention to and whatnot. Just take things one thing at a time, and remember to temporarily pull yourself out of the TTC realm when it starts to be too stressful.

klbowie

I am not sure any of us stop ourselves from stressing over it.  But the what-if game is a horrible game to play.  There are tons of unknowns in this journey but you have no control over most, if not all, of them.  I am scared to try again when the time comes, hopefully in January, but the only way I will get my take home baby is if I try.  Just take one day at a time! GL 

BootsOrHearts

I don't know but if you figure it out, let me know. I think if I get pregnant again, the only way I'll be able to handle it is to tell no-one until it's completely obvious and buy nothing baby related until I'm actually holding a live baby. I hate the thought of being let down again.

LLPtobe

ashleen223:

I don't handle it. I worry every day about it. Although I know I have no control over it. I just try to focus on the fact that I want a take home baby more than anything else right now. That need lets me know that I'm ok to try again because it outweighs my fears. I'm not giving up!

Couldn't have said it better myself ashleen!

BabyVDM

From my personal experience...

You take everything in small steps and you focus only on the next goal on the next milestone.

While you are TTC, you do your best to take care of yourself as a person physcially, mentally, emotionally.  You pursue your dreams, you have fun, you eat sushi, drink wine, you have caffiene what ever it is you love.  You do what you can to make yourself and your loved ones happy.   You live your life. 

And when you find you are pg again... You take it in small steps, only focus on the next milestone, you celebrate every victory and you ensure that you take care of yourself.  You focus on being healthy and happy, and chances are you will be and so will your baby and if not you know you have done all you can.

Don't dwell on your loss, don't make it your life's work.

 

 

 

klbowie

Bump Burp

HoolahZinger

Just like the other PPs, I worry. I worry even though I know worrying wont help anything. All I know is that I desire my rainbow baby too much to quit trying. I also try to stay busy with everything else in life and also keep a healthy, thankful heart with everything else I am blessed with in life. It helps for me to realize there ARE so many blessings. I don't want TTCAL to consume me that I quite living the life I have right now too. 

Albah

It's hard not to think about "what if" but I try to stop myself when the thoughts start creeping in. Once we were back to TTC, I changed my focus on the future, it just came naturally and the "what if" thoughts have decreased a bit. Wish you the best of luck with TTC! 

Roxycc55

BootsOrHearts:

I don't know but if you figure it out, let me know. I think if I get pregnant again, the only way I'll be able to handle it is to tell noone until it's completely obvious and buy nothing baby related until I'm actually holding a live baby. I hate the thought of being let down again.

I kinda think this way a lot too. But then I think I would end up feeling sad if it did happen again that I had no memories to cherish. I look back on the months I was pregnant now and even though I get sad, they make me happy to think about the time we had with her and how happy we were. I dont wanna miss that next time.

AudUy

I struggle. Some days are better than others but on the bad days I could cry for hours... and that has happened. I try to avoid thinking about what could have been. I definitely avoid the words "what should have been" as it didn't happen. I try to put things into perspective without minimizing my loss.

I do find a lot of comfort in knowing that it is extremely common for women who have experienced a loss to fear that they will never have a healthy baby. I used to think that fear was intuition but now I view it as just what it is: fear. 

SunshinyLees

AudUy:

I struggle. Some days are better than others but on the bad days I could cry for hours... and that has happened. I try to avoid thinking about what could have been. I definitely avoid the words "what should have been" as it didn't happen. I try to put things into perspective without minimizing my loss.

I do find a lot of comfort in knowing that it is extremely common for women who have experienced a loss to fear that they will never have a healthy baby. I used to think that fear was intuition but now I view it as just what it is: fear. 

I feel the same way. I can go days feeling so happy and positive and then bamn something sets me off and I'll feel so down;(. When this happens I usually drink some wine, take a bath or go for a walk and after a few hours feel good again.

I also take comfort in knowing I'm not alone in feeling scared/anxious/worried about the whole ttcal process and that there are plently of women who have had losses who go on to have their rainbow baby. One of best friends had three losses sadly but just gave birth to her baby girl. She gives me hope and inspiration.

 

frogs007

LLPtobe:

ashleen223:

I don't handle it. I worry every day about it. Although I know I have no control over it. I just try to focus on the fact that I want a take home baby more than anything else right now. That need lets me know that I'm ok to try again because it outweighs my fears. I'm not giving up!

Couldn't have said it better myself ashleen!

 

This.  I can't not worry.  Sometimes the overpowering fear of losing another child when I am constantly mourning the loss of my sons makes me want to quit, but I have no other children.  I can not give up on being a mother to a living child.