*eyenigh*

nunzchucks

I saw in the PP that you are only having one baby. I am so torn about this and I was curious what made your decision? I have a sister and we are 5.5 years apart so I never really had that "playmate" that closer sibs have. My sister and I didn't even star being close until she was 1/2 way thru college. Financially, I'd prefer one because I SAH and I just love it. I fear that I'd have to go back if we had two (left a pretty high paying job so daycare wouldn't be a problem). At the same time, maybe we should give DD a sibling!

If you don't feel like sharing here, you can PM me.  

eyenigh

No, I don't mind sharing at all. I'm 37 now and I spent my entire life never wanting kids. In the last year, the clock that everyone said would start ticking for me someday finally did. My husband and I talked about and thought it over for a few months before making the decision. I ended up getting pregnant on the first try but lost that baby at almost 12 weeks. It was far more devastating than I could've ever anticipated. At that point, I was so upset, I didn't even want to try again because I couldn't take another loss. My husband talked me back into it.

I had had to have a d and c but got pregnant before I ever had another period (if nothing else, this whole process has made me realize that my money spent on birth control all these years was well spent!). Well, this pregnancy stuck... hard. I threw up a minimum of 10 times a day for 6 months straight. I was in and out of the hospital for dehydration and I spent those first 6 months scared that the baby wasnt going to be ok because of how sick I was. I aso developed pregnancy related eczema all over my body and scratched myself raw for the first 4 months. To say I was miserable was an understatement. Plus, given my age, I was also paranoid that something might also be developmentally wrong. I'm just a worrier but the stats for women over 35 are nowhere near what they are for someone in their 20s. In the end, though, I got a perfect baby boy and he's pretty awesome so it was worth it but I seriously couldn't go through that twice!

Aside from all that, even previous to the sickness and taking age into consideration, we just knew that one was all we wanted. My husband and I each have one sister but we may as well be only children ourselves. Both of them are selfish and inconsiderate. My own sister has never even seen Alexander and she lives under 10 minutes away. Needless to say, siblings were never particularly a big thing that was important to us. Aside from that, we're old and pretty darn used to our lives/lifestyle. With one kid, we can do anything and everything for him and it's virtually no big change financially, even with the ridiculous price of daycare  . There's no scrimping and hoping we'll have enough. We just always will. My husband and I grew up without a lot and it makes us really happy to know he won't want for things like we did. if we want to go to Disneyworld this weekend, we could and because there's two parents and one kid, it's so much easier. The idea of chasing more than one kid around does not sound fun to me! In general, i like that it was always be us two to be there for that one kid. No jealousy, no fighting with a sibling, no fighting for attention. There will always be at least one parent available and all attention is on him. I'm sure he'll hate that when hes older but, for now, its perfect. Luckily, my husband and I are both big kids ourselves so we're also pretty good playmates. I told my husband before Alexander was born that I was looking forward to having my own little partner in crime.

Ultimately, one is just enough for us. I couldn't even imagine wanting to love another kid. I love this one like crazy and he's all we need. My husband and I joke that we only have a finite amount of love available so adding any more to our family would make us all love each other less, lol. We also have a ton of babies in our neighborhood that are all a few months apart so I'm not too worried about him not having playmates his age. My next door neighbor has twin boys that are about 3 months younger and we have another boy that's a week younger behind us. He'll have pals. He already has a girlfriend at daycare. They sit in their bumbos and hold hands!

So, I guess that's it? My mom can't even believe she got this one grandchild so I pretty much made her life. She'd have a heart attack if I had another one! 

nunzchucks

Thank you so much for your thoughts! Being able to give Claire as much as we can is my main reason behind thinking about stopping at one. 

 I was sorry to read about your rough time with pregnancy and your difficult siblings. At least you have one ridiculously cute baby to make up for it! 

eyenigh

I realized that got incredibly long but I wanted to give you a pretty wide overview of why we made our decision!

I think there's definitely something to be said for happy parents= happy children. I don't want to spend my life stressed and struggling, not only over finances but having to balance a couple of kids in all ways. It's not like having one is easy, let alone two! I need to be happy, too and I know my limits. At the same time, my husband and I are already trying to sketch out a game plan so we don't end up spoiling the heck out of this kid and turning him into an unbearable brat!

It's amazing to me that after having one kid (and being pestered my entire life "When are you going to have a baby?") how people immediately start pressuring again? "Well, you have to have another one!" Nope, I sure don't!