How to explain brother's new sibling to my ds

Echowysp

I'm sure it won't be as hard as I am imagining, but dh's ex-wife is pregnant.  Ds gets that dss has a different mommy, but I'm worried about explaining that dss' new sibling won't be ds or dd's sibling. 

Not sure why this makes me sad or worried.  We have a decent relationship with the ex and dh has talked to her about his interest in the kids knowing each other.  

 

angelamaster1986

Since you have a good relationship with the ex, perhaps explain to your little one that SS BM is having a baby but treat it like cousins. I think young children dont really grasp the reality of what makes aunts, aunts and cousins, cousins. I dont know how old your DS is but if he is able to understand that SS has another household, he should be able to understand that there is going to be a new baby friend for him at his brothers house that he will be able to see from time to time (like a cousin!)

twister22

If they ask, you just tell them it's SS's sibling but not DS's or DD's. It's not that complicated, and if you act like it's no big deal the kids won't think it is either.

Several weeks ago when I went to pick up DS from BD's DS asked me if his little sister could call me Mommy. (DS, BD, and BD's DD were all there.) I told him no, that I wasn't his little sister's mommy, that XGF was. I said "You have one mommy - me, and lil sis has one mommy - XGF." Relationships can be confusing to young kids, and just treat this like you would any other relationship - i.e. Aunt is cousin's mommy but your aunt, and I'm your daddy and cousin's uncle. 

Holly_1007

I guess it depends on the relationship you have with BM and how old your DS is.  My DS is 2.5 and honestly has no idea that SD has another half sister at BM's house.  to be fair, he has seen her 3 times in the past year, and all were at social events where there were other kids.

I agree with pp, if you make a big deal about it then your children will.... just like DSS has a different mommy, he has other siblings too..

forestdancer

I have a similar issue that will arise in the future. I have a 7 year old step son. His father had our baby on June 19th, His mother and step dad had baby on July 5th. We see each other at every baseball game in spring and football in fall. They will be weeks apart. I do not mind them playing, but I don't want them to want to hang out any time other than that. (I'm not a fan of his mother, I think she is trashy) However, we both said that other day how hard it is going to be to explain to both our children who are no way related but both have an older brother that they are NOT RELATED.    I'm not worried about it, its just going to be interesting and rough.

illheel

 My brother has an older sister who is not my sister.  However, since I have known her all my life she is my sister too.  Although my parents were not together my mother never said anything about it one way or the other and she never corrected me when I called her my sister.  So I think things just work themselves out if parents don't make a big deal about it one way or the other. It also helps that all of you get along.