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June 2011 Moms
RingOfFire11
member
Why don't friends with kids have time?
RingOfFire11
member
I'm sure this has already circulated at some point but today it was much needed - currently dealing with a couple of these friends. If you haven't read before, check it out. Happy Monday!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Why don't friends with kids have time?
I haven't seen this before, but great article!
A few weekends ago we were at a birthday party for some friends, and 2 people beside me were talking about when they and their spouses were going to start TTC. (I wasn't supposed to hear, but moms get good at hearing two conversations at once!) Anyway, naturally so, they're nervous they're not ready. Especially the couple that's TTC soon. Anyway, I overheard the guy in the convo saying that DH and I are actually a reason to be scared. Apparently since we don't go out as much it's a reason to be scared of having kids. (What he fails to realize is that of that group, we always went out the least!)
I just wish non-parents understood that time is so precious and valuable! Whether it's time with your LO that you don't want to spend at a bar, and you want to watch The Lorax instead, or it's a few minutes to drink your coffee hot, time is precious!
So true! Your time with your son is what MAKES your life worthwhile. Not like his constant, just like the weekend before, trips to the bars. He should be jealous, not scared
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I don't have a lot of time because I am a working mom. I do all the chores SAHMs do as far as housecleaning, cooking, food shopping, laundry, finances, errands, etc. in a small window of time after work and on weekends while taking care of my DS. I don't have the opportunity to throw laundry in while my DS naps, or wash dishes while he's eating lunch. That will all be waiting for me when I get home.
I love my life, but knowing that DS naps about 2 1/2 hours a day makes we wish I could be home taking care of a few chores during that time so we had more time to just play in the evenings and we'd have more time to meet up with our child-free friends. I've stayed home for short stints, and getting chores done during naps really helped in the evenings.
I should add that DH is awesome and all those chores and care of DS are a team effort.
Ditto!!!
DH and I were homebodies before kids, and we're homebodies now and loving it (not that we didn't like things before, but we just enjoy spending time with DS). We get a lot of cr*p about not having time, but with DH full-time in school, him working, me working, DS in daycare, and a house to take care of.... we didn't have much to start with. We make the most of it, and yes I'm not free *every* weekend to just do whatever, and we spend our free time wisely.
I make time for what is important to me, and right now that is my family and my son.
The grass is NOT always greener peeps. I mean seriously. There are pros and cons to every situation. I frankly am really tired of the mommy wars. The singles vs. married wars. The kids vs. no kids wars. Yes. The question writer in that article was quite ignorant. But that's when we need to educate.
As for @sugarbear. Yes, you may be a WM who has to do all those chores too, but you shouldn't demean the work SAHMs do. I don't think that was your intention, but that's how you came across.
I see both points of view when it comes to the SAHM vs WM stuff. I'm off on Wednesdays and work 4 tens the other days. I love my day off, but sometimes, I think going to work is much easier than my day home with Audrey. However, I wouldn't trade that day for anything.
My point is that it doesn't matter. When people make ignorant comments, use the opportunity to educated. Or just have enough confidence in what your do and what decisions you've made for your family to not get so dang irritated.
OR.............you could think the article was funny and well said. I'm not a SAHM and thought it was funny because a few of my friends and family don't understand why I don't have much time anymore. Not sure who your comment was directed at (probably not me, the OP) but it "doesn't matter"...it was a funny response.
I don't fully agree with the article, honestly. I have a couple friends without children that I have been friends with for years. Since we were kids. It's a priority to me to maintain those friendships so I make time for it. I take the time to call them or email them and ask how their lives are going and what's new. I make the time to go out once in awhile with them to dinner or to a movie or even just for a walk/coffee and chat. I think it's all about where your priorities lie and how you view female friendships.
I have never been one to throw my friends by the wayside when things happened in my life so having a baby wasn't going to make that happen either. I think it has a wonderful return for me because I get to talk about non baby stuff once in awhile, get out of my bubble of diapers and Gymboree and they are super helpful and understanding about her inclusion in things now.
Personally I don't buy the I just don't have time excuse. We make time for the things we want to. And for me, my friendships and world outside of my family unit are worth it so I do take those 10 minutes of time here and there to reach out.
I'm sorry, but I don't really "agree" with the article. If your friends don't make time for you (with or without kids, working or not) you are too low on their priority list.
Do I go out every weekend with "my girls" no, but you better believe I call, text Facebook, etc there are plenty of ways to keep in touch (hell we are all on the internet right now!). If you can't get out once a month (unless you are a single mom with no support system) then it's just not important to you and maybe you need to start thinking about shrinking your circle of friends.
And no, it doesn't take times longer to do things because you have a child, that is absurd.
Yep....