Moms of 2+: sleep habits

UAbride31007

What did you do to "train" your older LOs to fall asleep on their own? CIO or "sleep training" is not for us and currently I nurse and rock DS to sleep. I don't have a problem with our current routine as it works for us. I do realize that we can't do our current routine forever and that he will need to learn how to fall asleep on his own. How do I know when to start making the transition and what can I do to make it easier.  I should also mention that we have explored the idea of bed sharing and have decided it's not for us. TIA. 

judahsmommy1

I do a very very modified version of CIO. If my son is upset, I stay with him. I'll sit next to his bed and stroke his back and sing songs to him and reiterate that he needs to go to sleep now. Fair warning, it takes a LONG time the first few nights. At one point I sat in my son's room for 2 hours. Once he's calm I say goodnight and leave the room. If he gets upset, I go back and sit next to the bed again. I keep it up until he falls asleep. He does not get to get out of bed.

People have said that it takes longer to get them to sleep this way than just doing CIO, but doing it this way fits with my style of parenting. If my son is truly upset, I refuse to leave him alone to deal with it by himself. I do make the distinction between minor fussing or whining and outright crying though. If he's just fussing I'll let him try to work it out on his own.  It usually takes 3-4 nights to get him to be able to fall asleep on his own. The first night is typically the longest. The second night takes about 30-45 minutes. The 3 and 4th nights are usually 15-20 minutes.

ncbelle

Both of my kids were worn or nursed to sleep until they started fighting going to sleep like that.  At that point, we switched to just sitting by them as they drift off.  Eleanor will still fall asleep nursing sometimes if she's super tired and she is usually worn to sleep for a nap (so like rocking) as it helps her wind down.  Callum is 3.5 and we do still sit with him as he falls asleep at night (or are at least in the room as he and E share).  If he naps, he just falls asleep in his tent while looking at books.

IMO, there's no training involved.  I know plenty of adults who like to have company at least as they wind down for bed if not while they are falling asleep.  So I don't' expect my toddler/preschooler to not need that.  I do believe a bed time routine is really important in terms of cueing sleep - on the nights where our evening is really different or later than normal, they really have a tough time going down.

The No Cry Sleep Solution books are a good read if you want something more formal to think about.