about to freak out. long...

Karschingham

MIL is visiting, yay!

 She literally just got out of the hospital was there for 13 days because of an infection that she's had for a long, long time but refused to stop smoking for *gasp* a week so they could fix her. Eventually got so bad they just had to do it regardless....she still decides to fly across the country to come visit and is just acting like an a$$hole.

Smoking is her life. She smokes nonstop at her house INSIDE (gross) and has for years needless to say, it's disgusting, she gets here and smells disgusting. DH told her that she needs to wash her hands after smoking and can't do it by DD but lets her stay in DD's room in her brand new bed we just got her and she's in our room...which is NOT fun. She was pissed about the handwashing comment...

MIL was smoking on front porch right in front of our large windows and I could smell it leaking inside, my allergies started to go haywire we moved her to the back onto the patio furniture a little farther from the house because she started smoking on front porch with WINDOWS WIDE OPEN and she just shut the blinds to "cover" it. seriously? so then when DH moved her to the back she stopped talking to us all day and pouted and just sat out there for HOURS. like are you kidding me lady?! DH sat with her for awhile she wouldn't talk he said "Isn't it nice back here?" her reply, "it's not as breezy." and that was all she said.

 Like, we gave you our daughter's room that now smells like a bar all of her brand new bedding is just disgusting. Have accomodated your smoking at our house and you're just being a baby! I JUST WANT TO SCREAM! Then it starts raining so she wants to smoke on the porch again and I want to punch her in the face. I sent them all away to the science center so I could wash the bedding and open some freaking windows. oh and to top it all off, she took a shower for the first time today she's been here since wednesday...GROSS.

Like if I was a smoker and was a guest at my child's house with their children and a preg I would not be a baby about their smoking rules, I would be gracious and go for a walk if I wanted to smoke and not complain, oh and I would shower before sleeping in their child's room...is this common sense or am I being stupid? DH thinks I'm overreacting a little bit, is this hormones or do I have a reason to be upset?! because I'm pissed!!!

 

Venus04d

I don't think you're overreacting, but I think it's a fury that it's best to try and conceal. If she prefers the porch, I'd let her smoke there as long as the windows were closed. I wouldn't wash the bedding until she leaves. I don't think there's any problem with asking her to wash her hands. It's just hard with smokers, especially older smokers, because they come from a different time and don't view cigarettes the same. Most smokers are clueless to how badly they stink and how easily that stink transfers to everything.

Just try to keep in mind she'll be gone soon and it'll be over. Hold your ground on what's important, but do your best to help her enjoy her time with you guys.

Karschingham

mbenit4:

You have a right to be pissed if she has been smoking in your house. You have every right to ask her to wash her hands after smoking.

Can't you compromise and close the windows and let her be on the porch? (I just notice older folks like porches)

I think it is reaching to assume someone would take a walk to smoke. Most smokers I know will go outside and that is about it. You knew she was visiting right? Did you think she wasn't going to smoke?

I also wouldn't wash the bedding until she leaves.

The windows are normally closed I had opened them the night before to air the place out bc like I said my allergies were going nuts from the smoke, I was giving DD a bath in the morning and told her I would have to close them before she smoked and she just couldn't wait 5 minutes so closed the blinds and puffed anyway, that's why we moved her to the back it was just too much. plus on the porch she was sitting RIGHT in front of the windows and smokes like 3 at a time and it was coming in the house still.

I know it's reaching to say go on walk that's just what I would do if I was in her position, and I already have the damn bedding in the wash. Threw it in there in a tizzy...that was probably hormones but they were pissing me off just sitting there smelling lol I just want to get a hotel and leave these yahoos to themselves.

We knew she was coming but at first she was going to come with his sister and they would get a hotel, well then that changed and then she was in the hospital and we didn't think she would still come, DH didn't feel right making her get a hotel after all that...but I still can't believe she traveled. She's weird like that, nothing she does makes sense to me.

Karschingham

Venus04d:

I don't think you're overreacting, but I think it's a fury that it's best to try and conceal. If she prefers the porch, I'd let her smoke there as long as the windows were closed. I wouldn't wash the bedding until she leaves. I don't think there's any problem with asking her to wash her hands. It's just hard with smokers, especially older smokers, because they come from a different time and don't view cigarettes the same. Most smokers are clueless to how badly they stink and how easily that stink transfers to everything.

Just try to keep in mind she'll be gone soon and it'll be over. Hold your ground on what's important, but do your best to help her enjoy her time with you guys.

the bolded TEN FOLD...she just does. not. get. it. and that's what's really hard, I've done all my complaining to DH nothing to her, I didn't say anything when she left the windows open I'm trying soooo hard to keep my mouth shut which is really hard...That's why I sent them off because I needed to be alone for awhile. She is here until Monday night and I'm like tick tock tick tock...which I feel terrible about, she is nice normally but it's like she has no interest in being here and that frustrates me too, she says one word every 5 hours and just sits on the couch. I've been really really trying I'm just getting to the end of my rope. thanks for letting me vent ladies and telling me I'm not 100% crazy haha makes me feel better.

nancy30005

I am so, so sorry. That is effing gross. My parents pulled similar crap when they visited in June. It drove me insane. I am pist on your behalf!

After they left I changed their sheets and cleaned the bathroom and I'm 99.9% sure they smoked in my spare bathroom (across from DS's room!).

I don't have much to help you but to offer a 'hang in there' and you're not unreasonable or hormonal for feeling this way. How long is she staying?

Venus04d

Karschingham:

Venus04d:

I don't think you're overreacting, but I think it's a fury that it's best to try and conceal. If she prefers the porch, I'd let her smoke there as long as the windows were closed. I wouldn't wash the bedding until she leaves. I don't think there's any problem with asking her to wash her hands. It's just hard with smokers, especially older smokers, because they come from a different time and don't view cigarettes the same. Most smokers are clueless to how badly they stink and how easily that stink transfers to everything.

Just try to keep in mind she'll be gone soon and it'll be over. Hold your ground on what's important, but do your best to help her enjoy her time with you guys.

the bolded TEN FOLD...she just does. not. get. it. and that's what's really hard, I've done all my complaining to DH nothing to her, I didn't say anything when she left the windows open I'm trying soooo hard to keep my mouth shut which is really hard...That's why I sent them off because I needed to be alone for awhile. She is here until Monday night and I'm like tick tock tick tock...which I feel terrible about, she is nice normally but it's like she has no interest in being here and that frustrates me too, she says one word every 5 hours and just sits on the couch. I've been really really trying I'm just getting to the end of my rope. thanks for letting me vent ladies and telling me I'm not 100% crazy haha makes me feel better.

My ILs are the same way. They just quit smoking inside recently when my FIL was diagnosed with lung cancer. He's quit completely, but my MIL is struggling. Every time we go over there, we all stink when we leave. Sometimes we'll be there less than an hour and I still have to make everyone change their clothes when we get home. It's frustrating.

RachieTK

Gross. I couldn't have a smoking houseguest, MIL or otherwise, especially while pregnant. You're not being unreasonable at all IMO. 

Karschingham

Thanks everyone again for making me feel more valid in my points, it's better. After washing the sheets, lighting a candle and opening up the window's in DD's room it doesn't stink...for now. So I feel better about that.

The alone time was much needed and I felt better especially after my long rant on here!! Also, DH told her smoking only in the back even if it's raining. So she sat out there and got soaked..I mean again, that was the choice she made...whatevs.

Steph-I would totally take you up on that! lol much cheaper than a hotel, I would cook your family a scrumptious dinner as payback!!!!! hehe

Ya'll are the best...thanks for helping me chillax!!!!! She goes home Monday night...tick tock tick tock!!!!!!!!!!!