Attachment Parenting
Craptastic baby carrier
I am pregnant with my first but my neighbor just had her first baby about two months ago. I have learned a lot from TB but don't tell her I am on her because I like being anonymous. However, she is using this carrier with her little girl. I am pretty sure that is the exact one but it is definitely that brand. How do I encourage her to use something better? The baby always looks so awkward in it. Should I just leave it alone? Email her an article about carriers? Put something on FB and hope she sees it? Or am I totally wrong and this carrier is just fine...help!
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Re: Craptastic baby carrier
Personally, I would mention that I was researching which carrier I wanted to buy for after my baby arrives and I came across an article that front facing carriers can increase the risk of hip dysplasia in young infants. I'd probably tell her that website said that carriers that don't support the hips and dangle kids from the crotch are overall bad, could require surgery to correct it in the future, etc.
You can offer to forward her a helpful link:
https://www.hipdysplasia.org/developmental-dysplasia-of-the-hip/prevention/baby-carriers-seats-and-other-equipment/
After that, I would leave it alone. It's her kid and she gets to do what she wants.
Yes, I would do this, or something similar. Make it like you just came across this information and wanted her to have it. Then back off (sigh). You can't force her to do the right thing.
This is what I would do. I see TONS of people using front facing carriers and I just think they don't know how bad they are. You are being a good friend by giving her the information and then let her decide for herself.
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Tread lightly. My sister uses that same carrier and when I mentioned how bad it was she flipped. Saying that they wouldn't be selling it if it was bad.
I use the moby front facing and it puts his knees and hips in the right spot. So not all front carrying is bad.
If this is someone you never talk to, I'd let it go. If it's someone that you talk to regularly even in a casual way, you could say something about how you have been researching carriers and you were wondering how comfortable she found it. If she says "it kinda hurts my back" or "I feel like baby doesn't fit well" that opens up an opportunity to say "oh here are some sites I found about finding a carrier that's comfortable". If she doesn't, I wouldn't push it.
For someone who wears only once in a while, a front pack/narrow base carrier like that isn't going to cause long term harm anymore than say a jumparoo is likely too when used a reasonable amount of time. It's far more likely that she will find it uncomfortable and will stop wearing (another opportunity to share information about better carriers). I've started approaching front packs from the standpoint of wearer comfort since that's less likely to turn people off and have them do a little more research.
As a side note, as babywearing has become even more mainstream in the last few years, I think the front pack is starting to die a slow death. Infantino for example (who makes that carrier) has started making several "ergonomic" models that offer knee to knee support and no FF position. I think more and more people are getting the message that a narrow base isn't comfy for baby and results in a carry (whether FF or parent facing although FF is even worse) that strains the wearer's back because baby's weight is pulling away from the wearer's center of gravity.
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You don't.
Moms who get in other moms' businesses about things that don't concern them are annoying enough. If a non-mom said anything to me about anything baby-related like she knew anything, I'd laugh in her face.
None of your business. She'll figure out that there are better carriers out there.
You're right that you're totally wrong about the carrier and it's just fine to use although you can find evidence on their competition's websites to tell you otherwise. There is no credible American research that shows carriers in that style cause hip dysplasia (hence why the words "may cause" are used are used in that hip dysplasia site). Carseats, swaddle blankets and exersaucers can cause the same problems as those carriers can so if you're using them, you're pretty hypocritical to say something to your friend since those products run the same risk. Is use for short periods of time in it harmful? Probably not. If you leave your kid in one all day long, could it cause harm? Absolutely.
The only research of that position being harmful comes from cultures where babies are worn in carriers like that for 20 hours a day. As long as you know that she's not having her child in one of those carriers all day everyday, I would keep quiet.
This is good advice, thank you. I will try to bring it up casually and see where it goes.
I really don't think it's a matter of right and wrong. . .
Anyhoo. I would just bring up carriers, ask her if she likes hers, and when she complains about it not being comfortable (which she likely will), you can give her names of ones that are better. If not, short of buying her a better carrier, there is nothing you can do.
Seriously.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
I agree with the PPs who suggested keeping your suggestions to yourself.
I had a Moby wrap, have an Ergo and also have the Infantino Swing.
I was not comfortable with a ring sling so I did not purchase one. I was not willing to shell out over $100 for a woven wrap. My son hated the Moby wrap. I used the Infantino Swing for about 2 months when LO was 4.5 months to about 6.5 months old. He wanted to be facing out and I was not comfortable with the hip carry or the back carry options on the Ergo yet.
I was well aware of all of the research out there in regards to "crotch danglers" and of the many options for babywearing.
This.
If you really feel like you want to talk about carriers, you can talk about them generally - tell her you're interested in getting one, ask her about hers and whether she likes it, mention you've looked at others, etc.
But please don't send her email links/tell her/whatever about how she's potentially harming her baby. That's not going to go over well no matter how well intentioned.
I agree about not saying anything and that it isn't your business.
A good friend of mine registered for a bjorn, and her baby is a year younger than mine. As a shower gift, I bought her the Ergo and just told her how much we love it. I didn't mention the carrier she registered for, or what about the Ergo I prefer. And I gave her the gift receipt. That's about as much as I will get involved but unless she asked me, I would never say anything else to her about it.