WWYD baby shower?

74dragonfly

I was due Sept 26. My friend in my mommy group is due mid October. Her baby shower is the 15th. She knows about my losses and my IF struggles. I don't want to go to the shower. I feel selfish. I want to share in her joy but going to a shower ten days before my due date will break my heart. WWYD? If I don't go should I tell her the truth or make up a reason to miss it?

mwalliser

I'd just be honest with her. She should understand. Maybe plan to take her out to lunch or something at another time.

LaineyPaney

Are you happy for her?

Are you going to give her a baby gift?

 

If so, I'd give her the gift ahead of time, and tell her then. Just say, "I'm not really in a place to do baby showers right now. I'm happy for you, and I want you to know that. I'm just not emotionally prepared for the whole shower thing. Now open this because I think you're really going to love....blah, blah, blah...." 

I would do something like that. 

If she's your friend and knows your struggles, she may appreciate you being honest with her, and in turn, be extra sensitive about your struggles. 

74dragonfly

I am very happy for her . I got her a gift. I also had planned a surprise shower for her but she bailed out. She doesn't know about the shower I planned.

gault530

mwalliser:

I'd just be honest with her. She should understand. Maybe plan to take her out to lunch or something at another time.

Ditto!

DahliaFlower

I would definitely not go.  I haven't been to a baby shower since my own!  I don't think you should feel selfish.  You need to take care of your own psychological and emotional health.  If you really care about the friend, give her an honest explanation and send a gift.  Done.