Can it be January?

zonagirlie

I don't think anyone but you guys would understand me.

I want it to be January. I want to be done with the next five months and have my baby in my hands, safe and healthy. I always thought I'd love being pregnant and wanting a baby for so long and not being able to have one has built it up and now I just want to be 9 mos already. I think other people might think I'm insane. I keep being told "Relax and enjoy. It goes so fast. Just be happy." I'm too anxious to enjoy. Everything scares me!

Not being able to see the baby, feel the baby, touch the baby- it's driving me crazy. I have hardly any control, yet I feel like if something bad happens, it's all on me. Every twinge, cramp, pain, anything scares the hell out of me. I started feeling tiny little flutters this weekend and now nothing, which is scaring me even though this is totally normal. We listen to baby almost every night with our doppler, yet if it takes me a while to find baby, I panic. We have our anatomy scan on Monday next and I want to get there and see and hear the doctor say everything is okay. I just keep panicking about him saying that it's not okay. Our scan will be over an hour because of genetic issues they're looking for due to family history and I just can't wait. I need to know if baby is healthy. I don't even care at this point what the sex is.

I'm just frustrated and scared.  Am I stupid and insane?

Jen748

All that you are feeling is totally normal Zona! I promise. With Sammie I was the SAME way. With this one...I feel like I'm constantly putting my claws into the calendar not understanding how the heck time is going SO FAST!

htuzzi324

Nope, just a FTM. NO worries, almost everyone is like this with their first. Just relax In a few more weeks, you'll definitely know your baby is healthy and safe as it kicks the crap out of you while you're trying to sleep. 

landosmommy

Jen748:

All that you are feeling is totally normal Zona! I promise. With Sammie I was the SAME way. With this one...I feel like I'm constantly putting my claws into the calendar not understanding how the heck time is going SO FAST!

I am the same way. 

htuzzi324

 TB Hiccup

htuzzi324

hiccup

Alyssa102

You are def. not insane.  I felt this way with my first too.  And I can say with experience now to "relax and enjoy". 

Being pregnant can be stressful and nerve-racking at times and I certainly understand the anxiousness (sp) of wanting to hold/see/pay with your baby, but speaking selfishly for a moment, you will never get this time back.  Enjoy the night's out with your hubby and the time you two have together just the two of you. 

Hope that helps.

jterpbride

Sounds normal to me!

I think and hope you will find some relief after your anatomy scan. For me, I felt like I was living appointment to appointment since day 1. There's just getting through first tri -- hearing the heartbeat for the first time, then waiting to hear it in every subsequent appointment -- and for me, the NT scan which was rough, and then the anatomy scan. We still have the fetal echo for the heart, but I'm starting to feel much more confident after a great anatomy scan and can relax a lot.

Honestly after the anatomy scan, the weight of the reality that I'm having an actual human baby in January hit me, hard. I felt a new kind of stressed over the weekend. Now I sort of want things to slow down so I have more time to plan and prepare!

Hope your anatomy scan goes perfectly and you can start to relax!

 

sbevmc09

Definitely not stupid and insane, but just keep thinking positive thoughts.  Worrying won't help anything and you have no reason to believe that anything is wrong.  I know it's easier said than done, but unless you have reason to worry you really need to try to make yourself think positively.  Otherwise you're going to spend your whole pregnancy worrying for nothing! 

Also, hate to tell ya, but motherhood = worry.  Or at least it does for me and it certainly doesn't end when baby is here.  Sure you can touch them and see them, but there is PLENTY to worry about.  Everyday.  So you have to do the best you can to just think positively!

Jen748

sbevmc09:

Definitely not stupid and insane, but just keep thinking positive thoughts.  Worrying won't help anything and you have no reason to believe that anything is wrong.  I know it's easier said than done, but unless you have reason to worry you really need to try to make yourself think positively.  Otherwise you're going to spend your whole pregnancy worrying for nothing! 

Also, hate to tell ya, but motherhood = worry.  Or at least it does for me and it certainly doesn't end when baby is here.  Sure you can touch them and see them, but there is PLENTY to worry about.  Everyday.  So you have to do the best you can to just think positively!

Oh gosh yes. I'm pretty sure I worry know more than I did pregnant with Sammie.

pghctwife

Ditto the others! Especially the bit about how slow it seems to go the first time, and now this time? I feel like I should only be like 8 weeks, not 17!

Some reassuring thoughts from my previous experience: very soon you will start feeling the baby more regularly. I think it was maybe a month after the first kick for me, but feeling the baby daily - REALLY feeling kicks? That is really REALLY reassuring. Also, I found that the second half went much faster than the first. And that was through an entire bad winter! With the holidays right before all our due dates, I think that this will be especially true. 

Really though... there isnt anything you can do now anyhow. Worrying wont change anything kwim? The baby already has a determined sex, hair and eye color, etc. And that includes whatever family history issues you are looking for... either they are there or they arent and no amount of worrying will change that. I dont know if that helps at all but for me when I am worried about something, knowing that "it is what it is" already helps. 

misscarter87

i'M at ftm and i'm counting down til january!!! hoping for a safe and healthy baby delivery and pregnancy although it sees far away it feels like its going by pretty fast!

AshleyDehaven

You are definitely not alone, and not crazy. I feel exactly the same, after a loss a year ago, and losing a twin in this pregnancy, every little twinge terrifies me. Just remember that after finding the heartbeat the chances of losing a pregnancy are only 3% and after a good week 16 U/S that becomes 1%. Chances are overwhelmingly in our favor. So my suggestion? Take a deep breath, a bath, and get a nice cup of tea, and try to relax some. I know that is so much easier said that done, and i am guilty of ignoring my own advice, but it is the best thing we can do for ourselves.

==N==

I know! I want to hold this baby so bad! Hopefully once fall gets here we'll have the holidays and other stuff to occupy ourselves until they get here.

zonagirlie

AshleyDehaven:

You are definitely not alone, and not crazy. I feel exactly the same, after a loss a year ago, and losing a twin in this pregnancy, every little twinge terrifies me. Just remember that after finding the heartbeat the chances of losing a pregnancy are only 3% and after a good week 16 U/S that becomes 1%. Chances are overwhelmingly in our favor. So my suggestion? Take a deep breath, a bath, and get a nice cup of tea, and try to relax some. I know that is so much easier said that done, and i am guilty of ignoring my own advice, but it is the best thing we can do for ourselves.

Ashley, you hit the nail on the head. It's the loss aspect. I feel so much less in control knowing I couldn't control anything before, so I just feel helpless. I think it will help a lot after seeing baby next Monday. We haven't seen the baby since our fourth u/s out the emergency room when we had a scare. Listening each night helps immensely, but I bet seeing baby in 6 days from this very moment will help quell a lot of my fears.

Thank you for your kind words. It helps knowing someone is in my shoes. *HUGS* 

AshleyDehaven

zonagirlie:

AshleyDehaven:

You are definitely not alone, and not crazy. I feel exactly the same, after a loss a year ago, and losing a twin in this pregnancy, every little twinge terrifies me. Just remember that after finding the heartbeat the chances of losing a pregnancy are only 3% and after a good week 16 U/S that becomes 1%. Chances are overwhelmingly in our favor. So my suggestion? Take a deep breath, a bath, and get a nice cup of tea, and try to relax some. I know that is so much easier said that done, and i am guilty of ignoring my own advice, but it is the best thing we can do for ourselves.

Ashley, you hit the nail on the head. It's the loss aspect. I feel so much less in control knowing I couldn't control anything before, so I just feel helpless. I think it will help a lot after seeing baby next Monday. We haven't seen the baby since our fourth u/s out the emergency room when we had a scare. Listening each night helps immensely, but I bet seeing baby in 6 days from this very moment will help quell a lot of my fears.

Thank you for your kind words. It helps knowing someone is in my shoes. *HUGS* 

You can PM me any time if you ever just want to talk. It's immensely hard.. Sometimes i feel like i can hardly breath through the panic that a stomach pain can cause. Rationally in my head i think "round ligament pain", then the worry wart takes over and says "are you sure? How can you be certain? Should they last this long? Oh god did i eat something i shouldn't have? have i felt the baby move today? Please, please, please! Let this little one be okay..."

I don't think there is anyway around it.. I thought by this late my worries would be over. But you are right, it is nice knowing we aren't alone. ::Hugs:: 
Hang in there, come January i bet we both welcome perfectly healthy happy babies into the world.