Missing 1st Birthday for work
My son is turning 1 on Monday the 20th. I am taking this Friday off work and then we are having a birthday party for him on Saturday. I have to travel for a work meeting leaving Sunday night and will not be back until late on Monday evening. He will be at my in-laws that Monday night so I won't see him at all on hie birthday. I will pick him up the next day.
One part of me is trying to be logical and see it as not a big deal. This meeting was already a compromise. I was supposed to travel to Europe and be gone a full week. I negotiated it down to 1 day since it was around his birthday, but unfortunately the crucial part fell on hie birthday. I will get plenty of time to celebrate with him Friday, Sat and Sunday before I leave and then the day after. But another part of me is feeling so guilty for completely missing his 1st birthday. Ugh.
My husband thinks I am crazy for feeling bad, but I can't help feeling emotional about this and sad. I don't really know how to fix it.
Re: Missing 1st Birthday for work
im the worng person to ask. you may not want to hear my thoughts, and sorry please no flames, but i would really feel bad if i will miss my daughter's first bday. We did not have a big party but we were all together during this major milestone.
anyway, seems you do not have a choice and you did your best, so just celebrate in advance and try to take time off to make up for your absence
My vote, just enjoy the weekend celebrations.
My DH and I missed our first anniversary due to work. Bummer, but we survived. Granted, it's not the same thing. But, your LO won't know the difference and you are doing your best. Worry about it when they are 4 and would know.
My vote aside, I realize it's not going to be easy. Sorry it fell this way. Bright side, you are not overseas right?
This post goes straight to my heart: DD's first birthday was the day before my father's funeral and DD's dad therefore couldn't be there. I was there but cried most of the day because of my recent loss and the fact that DD was not with both her parents.
To top things off we both missed DD's second birthday recently because we were traveling overseas to an important conference. This was all in all not too sad and we had a big party for her when she got home.
Moral of the story: Missing birthdays is not as bad as you think beforehand, it all depends on the circumstances. I definitely have much worse memories about her first than her second. If you know that this work trip is important then the celebrations over the weekend are much more important. Your DS will not know the difference and all the pictures that he will see later will be from his 1st birthday. No matter when that date was. Hope you get to feel better about it :-)
I really don't think this is a big deal. Like you said, you are having a party a few days beforehand anyway. And, your LO won't know the difference. People make too big of a deal out of birthdays anyway in my opinion. You are celebrating it over the weekend, that is enough.
Good luck!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Completely agree with this. We make such a big deal about first birthdays and LO doesn't even have a clue. And I always thought that kids, and worse adults, who take off school/miss work/expect everyone to drop everything for them because OMG it's their birthday are pretty insufferable. :P
I missed LO's first birthday. His birthday is was on the last day of school and my school was closing and moving to another building so I was franticallly packing my classroom and the building up.
I sent him to his grandparents house for 4 days including his birthday. I felt bad, but knew that I was not going to be able to devote any time to him while trying to pack everything up.
He didn't know it was his birthday, he was fine, we all survived, and we had a party a few days later. no biggie.
Sometimes you do what you have to do.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
You have every right to feel this way, don't beat yourself up. I missed my daughter's first birthday (on a Saturday) because I was at a all-day work event and didn't get home until 10 p.m. I didn't see her the day before or after either. But we did have a wonderful celebration the weekend after and I felt lucky she was at an age where she doesn't know the difference that it wasn't her "real" birthday. Much tougher on us moms!
My parents missed my brother's first birthday because they had to travel to Europe for a conference. It was seriously not a big deal at all. Heck, they wouldn't have even had to tell him if they hadn't wanted to--but they had a big first birthday party with family before they left, got some good pictures, etc. and then saw him when they got home a week later. He is now a happy, healthy neurologist--so clearly it didn't mess him up too bad for them to miss that event
Just have the party when you can, and don't worry about it. Your LO will pick up on you being anxious far more than he will comprehend that he is having a party one day earlier or later than it "should" be on.
Can you do Skype? Or maybe even talk to him over the phone? Not that either of these are neccessary, but it might give you some comfort in regards to feeling bad.
The celebration of birth can be celebrated at any time. Just know that you are a good mother and enjoy the celebration festivities Friday-Sunday.
You worked hard to maneuver the work deal down from one week to one day, give yourself a thumbs up for that!
This. Of course, it would be ideal if you could be there. But, in the long run, this is not a big deal at all. LO won't know and you WILL be there to celebrate otherwise. Don't stress it too much.
ditto